


Anchor

by xweapon



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Abduction, Canon-Typical Violence, Immortality, M/M, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Relationship's pretty healthy but there's a high amount of codependency, Sex, Torture, Trauma, Weapon X Project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:54:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 50,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xweapon/pseuds/xweapon
Summary: Peter wakes up to find himself in between concrete walls and metal bars, a man sharing his space that he soon recognizes as Wade Wilson, best known as Deadpool. It's only when he sees Wade crumbling before him that he reads the words on the wall: Weapon X. What had he got himself into now?Separate and skippable chapters for sex with warnings beforehand.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After two years I decided to stop creeping on other writers and share another work of my own with you.
> 
> Soooo... I should've probably requested a beta for this but I didn't want to torture anybody with me and my slow sloooow writing and incapability to accept input. This means you will find mistakes and inconsistency (either in the plot or my writing- sometimes I use british english, sometimes american. Evidently this isn't my first language). The smut I write is horrible, too, but I try ┐( ˘_˘)┌ Also, I'm the kind of idiot that uses -The mercenary- and -The hero- , etc. and sometimes it might be unclear who is saying or doing each thing, I mean it's definitely clear for me but I wrote it, ha!
> 
> Was going to name this fic 'anchor me' but I couldn't stop reading it as 'anchovies'.
> 
> This fic is already finished so I'll just post it, probably on weekends. Chapters range from approximately 1500 to 3000 words.  
> I would very much like to receive comments and if you'd like to point out a mistake in them pleasepleasee be kind!! My last fic received lots of reviews from wonderful people and they fueled me to eventually write this one ୧(☉ｪ☉)୨

His eyes felt heavy and his head felt numb, as if he had recently crashed against a wall while swinging from a building to another... which was a thing that happened shamefully often. He didn't open his eyes just yet but did gradually manage to lift a hand and reach for the back of his head, feeling a dry and crusty scab of blood in between some strands of hair. Great.

After what felt like hours he managed to convince himself to look around, just a little. He saw in between his lashes a blurry image of his surroundings: gray walls made of concrete and what were obviously prison bars. What had he got himself into now?

Peter turned his head to the side, the action proving to be laborious for his sore body, and saw a lump resting by the opposite wall. He focused his eyes, brows furrowing in effort. It was a man, he was dressed in a white tunic that barely covered his legs, which he was probably wearing himself too, if he had to guess. A quick glance at his own body verified his theory.

Parker shook his head and the movement came out slower than intended, ' _concentrate_ ' - he scolded himself silently. His eyes went back to the man next to him, he was familiar but he couldn't manage to remember who he was, the concussion getting in the way of thinking rationally; he got a vague feeling of annoyance and pity when he stared at him, for some reason.

Then the man turned his head in such a way his complexion was no longer hidden in the dark, revealing a heavily scarred face with no hair whatsoever, not even eyelashes.  ' _Alopecia? Burn injuries? War veteran_?' - He run through a mental list, trying to remember this person, he knew this wasn't a stranger to him, he just needed to _think_.

And then the man opened his eyes, painfully slowly, just like Peter had done before. Presumably he was in the same condition and even blinking hurt. His eyes... they were beautiful. That was as far as his brain allowed him to reason at the moment, only ready for kindergarten level poetry.

As soon as those eyes fixed on Peter he remembered: Wade Wilson, Deadpool. And the stare he was receiving was one full of confusion, Wade seemed to be utterly lost and trying to guess what the hell was going on. Then his head turned to the side to take a look at his surroundings, just like Peter had before; except he must've seen something Parker had missed because his breath instantly hitched and panic invaded his face.

Spider-man followed his gaze, trying to figure what the other man was seeing. He spotted it after a while, once his eyes finally focused: " _Weapon X_ " read neatly on the wall.

' _Weapon X..._ ' – He almost heard the gears on his brain turning and complaining about the fact they had just remembered Deadpool and he was still asking to remember something else. _'The Weapon X program. Deadpool. Deadpool_!' - His brain provided helpfully, remembering the connection between those two.

He was instantly looking back at Wade, who had curled in on himself and was panting rapidly, scratching at his skin as if it confined him. Peter wanted to follow the mercenary's example and go on full panic but his heroic nature pushed harder, moving his body until he was close to the other man.

"Listen to me." - He spoke his first words after waking up to realize his throat was dry, his voice making an effort to work its way out of the windpipe and scratching the path as it did. - "You're not alone, we're finding a way out of here this time, I promise." - His hands reached for Wade with uncertainty, unsure if the touch would either push Wade to full panic or cause the man to scratch at Peter like a wild animal. When his palm met a shoulder he got to feel the shaking of the panicking man and decided to go ahead and try, damned it all- the touch would have to do, he couldn't sit there and watch Deadpool bite at his own tongue and drown in blood. His arms surrounded the mercenary, pushing Wade's head against his chest Peter sheltered him as best as he could, as if holding a child instead of a colossal man.

"Shhh." - He cradled Wade's body with tenderness, trying to ignore the nails that were digging at his back. It didn't matter because he'd rather Wilson clawed at another body than his own, at least right now. - "Shhh." - He repeated again and again, the sound becoming a background noise. By the time his tongue was numb from effort he noticed Wade's trembling had stopped and his eyes were closed, his lips were pursed tightly though, a sign he was not sleeping. Peter was glad it had worked, because he had no idea what he was doing.

"That's better, isn't it?" - A pair of light blue eyes looked up at him and he swallowed the lump that appeared on his throat at seeing them so clouded with worry.

"... Thank you." - It was whispered, Spider-man only caught the words because he was paying attention. Wade made no attempt to move away, if anything he moved even closer, as if he wanted to fuse with Parker and disappear; Peter couldn't bring himself to push him away, not when Wade looked so desperate.

They stayed in each other's arms for a long time, the position providing them with shared body heat and a bit of consolation.

 

\---

 

A loud noise woke Peter up, he noticed his arms were still around Deadpool and the man was looking up at him, his eyes trying to convey something but Parker couldn't decode it, the message lost between them.

Another noise. Peter turned his head around, hugging Wade closer to him reflexively, he finally recognized the sound as a heavy door opening and sweat started running down his nape. This couldn’t be good.  Footsteps were getting closer, finally stopping next to their cell, Wade wasn't able to see, his face hidden somewhere on Peter's neck. His breathing was hard and hot, frantic; Peter could tell by the feeling of the exhaled air blowing his way and he couldn't quite understand why he felt so protective of Wade after only one day but he guessed it was what anybody else would feel for him in this situation.

Parker turned to see a man standing by the confined room, he was wearing some sort of lab coat and had a writing pad on his hands, he rearranged the papers reading whatever it was that was written on there. Peter had been captured while being on patrol, too distracted eavesdropping on the police radio and his senses barely able to warn him before he received a hit on his head, so he was certain Weapon X knew his identity as a superhero and didn't have him here just for decoration.

He was brought back to reality when he heard the stranger hum next to them, glancing at Peter and Wade once in a while as if he was checking whatever it was that the papers in front of him stated, just like a person reading the information on an animal at the zoo. And maybe if he had been more relaxed he would've laughed at the comparison since it was pretty accurate: he was as still as a tree and Wade was shaking like a leaf on his arms, they could either belong to a low income zoo filled with scared animals or a botanic park. Parker knew, he could tell the bastard was reading about him being Spider-man and Wilson being Deadpool and anger filled him. So much for his secret identity, many other people had the right to find out first about who he was and yet it was these idiots that got the information before. Hell, he should've told his cell companion yesterday, seeming as it would have both prevented him from finding out by another mouth and shocked him out of his panic attack.

He wanted to say it out loud: 'I'm Spider-man', just to pretend the unknown person in front of him had got to know his secret only because he had told him... but he couldn't manage to speak, he knew the words would sound too loud for his own ears in this silence.

Finally, the scientist spoke, his piercing black eyes glaring at both of them. - "Welcome to Weapon X." - The son of a bitch smiled, his teeth yellow and as rotten as everything else in the disgusting facility.

Wade's whole body went stiff, clutching Peter's arm so tight the grip brought pain to both of them. Neither cared. Wilson was living a nightmare, he had dreamt of it before but he knew this time he wouldn't be able to wake up from it and it brought a pained sob out of him; last time Weapon X had costed him his looks, mental health, a friend and his mortality. He simply couldn't afford anything else, he had broken too many times to keep himself together if it happened again.

Peter held him tight in his embrace and Wade didn't even know his name yet but he felt as if he could trust this person next to him with the world. - "Weapon X was shut down." - Parker spoke, the vibration of his voice helping to soothe Deadpool. Wade was so concentrated on the feeling that the fact an average civilian couldn't know about Weapon X the way his cellmate apparently did didn't ring any alarm.

The scientist standing on the other side of the prison bars tilted his head like an owl. - "We never really got shut down. We just laid low for a while, recruited new members and remained underground." - He stated as if it was obvious. And it sort of was, Weapon X, Hydra, there were things that simply couldn't be destroyed because there would always be idiots willing to build them again: 'Cut off one head, two more shall take its place'.

By the time the man had taken out his keys to open the cell Wade had already switched positions, quickly pushing Peter behind his own body as if all the fear he had been displaying up until then was faked. Parker felt his cheek getting burnt by the rough floor after having been pushed away so aggressively, lifting his body off the ground and turning around to stare at his cellmate in puzzlement. - "It should only be me here. I took down a whole facility last time, by _myself_." - Wade's voice was as rough as the concrete floor had been, nothing like the lone whisper he had let out the day before.

Parker thought their imprisoner would just laugh and share the fact the guy next to Wade was actually Spider-man; and he did laugh, but he said nothing. He just opened the cell and gripped Wade's arm tightly, pulling him up and away from Peter. It was all that was needed in order to bring out all the panic he had been suppressing, the young hero standing up and reaching for the man's hand in an attempt to detach it from his companion, and instead of managing that his whole body started trembling and his jaw clenched tightly, electricity flowing through his blood.

"I wouldn't have done that. Your friend should've warned you, he knows how things work here after all." - The mad man closed the cell, leaving Peter alone inside it and taking Deadpool along with him, who was shockingly tame about being dragged around. - "Good news is, we got you a new number: from now on you're number four-two-two-six-four-eight, but that's too long so I'll just call you buddy, that all right?" - Their voices slowly vanished as they walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There's mentions of drugs and violence in this chapter, please take that into consideration._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice after reading enough that I included a mixture of mcu & comics, I've taken what I liked from everywhere and it resulted in this abomination. Oh! and here I introduce the famous voices! ! 'Cause you can't have Wade without his voices (or "boxes"). I hope they don't make understanding who's talking too much of a struggle.
> 
> I'd like to make two clarifications, the first is Peter being strangely tactile, this is the reason why I said they become co-dependent in the tags, well... it started already. Is it a reaction to a traumatic situation? Is it my bad writing? It's both.  
> The second, Wade voices are mean!! and rude! they've always been in the comics and I've kept that intact. Wade is also mean and rude quite often, even Peter can be a douchebag. I've kept that intact as well because being a douchebag is relatable.
> 
> Thank you for the nice comments, the kudos, and the people who were trusting enough to bookmark this ❤︎

 

Peter couldn't tell the amount of time that had passed, there were no windows in the room so he couldn't say whether it was day or night either and even though a plate with food and water was supplied once in a while he knew they were randomly thrown into his cell with no time order whatsoever. He was terribly cold and wanted to shower, he wanted something soft to lie his body on, his joints aching whenever he moved. His back was resting against the furthest wall and his eyes were closed, having drifted off to sleep at some point when he heard the heavy door opening again and the cheery voice that belonged to the lab coat man they had met before.- "That was fun, we should do that again."

Spider-man raised to his feet, expecting a snarky response from Wade that never came. He had been waiting for the worst, he really thought that, and still when Deadpool appeared in his field of vision he found out he didn't really know what the worst was.

"See you later, buddies." - The doctor spoke full of joy, throwing Wade's body towards Peter and closing the cell again. Parker barely managed to catch the man before he hit the floor and heard a disappointed sigh from the hallway, the doctor... scientist?... it was hard to tell, had been waiting for the noise of Deadpool's face hitting the concrete.

Peter sat on the floor holding Wade by the waist, another hand carefully holding his head upwards behind his neck. He wanted to cry and a sob managed to escape him, he stared at Deadpool in front of him and his eyes went blurry knowing the image was burnt on his brain and he wouldn’t be able to rid of it.

Wade's cheek was concave, the bone so shattered underneath skin that a few white and pointy pieces had actually managed to peek through the tissue, surrounding themselves in red blood like small islands in between the liquid. His breathing was as faint as his heart rate and his eyelids were so swollen that even in his state of unconsciousness they were slightly apart, the contrasting blue color of his eyes visible through them.

Parker couldn't push himself to neither take a look at the rest of Wade’s body nor lower him to the floor, so he cradled his head in between his hands, allowing Wade's back to rest on his legs. This was a nightmare, Peter realized just then that he wouldn't be able to hold on to his sanity if this continued, just like Wade had lost it before in the same situation; he hoped they were getting help from the outside soon because locked in a small room with no windows he couldn't manage to think of a way out.

Spider-man held still, he could no longer feel his legs because of Wade's weight on them but he didn't mind, they'd probably feel awkward after sitting on the floor for so long no matter how he rearranged them anyway. Deadpool's body had started stitching together a while ago, his healing factor kicking in, and Peter was shocked by how horrible the process was: the popping noises of bones going back where they belonged and the skin growing back sore and tight around the muscles, wrinkling in effort and making noises that felt deafening in the silence. He couldn't look away.

After what felt like hours Wade's eyes opened, they opened wide and round, commotion and fear filled them and as soon as Peter realized the man was about to shuffle away, he placed a hand softly on Wade's shoulder, trying his best not to add pressure to his touch and ruin recently mended muscles.- "It's me. They're not here." - He said, keeping his voice even and trying to bring the other man back to the present.- "It's just you and me."- He refrained from adding 'buddy' at the end, the doctor had emphasized that word enough times for Peter to hate.

"Who."- The mercenary coughed, struggling to cover his mouth as he did so but moving no further from Peter's lap. -"Who are you?"

Peter paused, wondering if Wade would adjust better to having an average person next to him or Spider-man. He decided to reveal his identity by bits, bearing in mind Deadpool had gone through quite a lot that day already. -"I'm Peter. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you."- He smiled, looking past the scarred skin and dry blood to stare at Wade in the eyes. The man seemed to show more surprise than appreciation at that gesture.

"Wade Wilson."- He stated, analyzing Peter from his lower position. -"You might be wondering why I healed so quickly, see, here's a funny story..."- Deadpool's voice was somber, even if his words seemed quite cheerful.

Peter wondered if Wade had suffered a concussion when seeing him switch to his bantering with ease, the other alternative was Wade being used to torture.

"I may or may not be Deadpool."- Another cracking noise, another bone back to its place, Wade didn't seem to be bothered by it, as if he hadn't even registered the noise even when it sounded like something that _hurt_. -"... You know, the merc with the mouth. No?"

Peter reached for a dry drop of blood on the man's cheek, scratching it away carefully as he spoke, trying to distract himself from the sound of mending tissue. -"I know Deadpool."

They settled for silence a while, Peter's hand dropping now that Wade had gained enough consciousness to remain on his lap without being held, he seemed to be fond of the closeness since he never moved away from it. Spider-man knew the mercenary only allowed it because it was needed, after all during the few missions he had shared with Deadpool the guy had grimaced at any display of body contact when out of costume, specially when not initiated by himself. Right now he needed it to remain sane, both of them did.

Wade turned his head around, burying his head further on Peter's thigh, and let out a low chuckle after seeing the sad excuse of a toilet that stared back at him in the loneliness of the corner of the cell, there was a scrap of cardboard next to it that looked more like sandpaper than toilet paper. -"Look at that, we didn't get a toilet back in the day. Guess they've added another star to this hotel, what a luxury."

Peter smiled, it was a bittersweet smile that didn't reach his eyes and it was noticed instantly, a thumb being pressed to his cheek and moving in circles. Wade could feel the fast growing stubble that was starting to show up. -"You are not dying here. No more friends of mine are dying here."- Peter focused on the warm feeling of the caress against the cold air, not bringing up the fact he had been called a friend after so little, nor asking about the other friends that had been lost or how Wade seemed to be focusing so much in getting Peter out of here he had never mentioned _himself_  getting out as well. Had Wade always been so caring towards people?

 

\---

 

The following time the doctor appeared it was not to take Deadpool with him, it was to take Peter. And Peter went hysteric, clinging to the man with all of his strength and getting a short lived satisfaction when blood began to splatter off the aggressor's arm after a well aimed scratch, just before getting tasered one more time, his teeth clattering painfully. The last thing he saw before his vision completely darkened was Wade screaming in anger, clutching the prison bars so tightly his nails were digging on his own palm, breaking skin.

As Spider-man, Peter was used to occasionally waking up with no sense of place or time, but in this place it seemed to be happening more often than ever. He was staring at a white ceiling, attempts of moving his head to look around seemed to fail so he concentrated on listening. -"Morphine or Fentanyl?"- a lady spoke, her voice sounding cold and clinical. -"Morphine will do. About two thousand milligrams? Never sure with these freaks. Slow drip after initial dose." - He really wished he had not listened now, he felt fright crawl its way under his skin, lifting it up in goosebumps; and even though he felt no pain, he was capable of following each movement the scalpel made on his body, and he wished he could feel the pain so as not to be able to notice the way his skin parted like a zipper under the blade. -"No gland for the web on wrists. So the thing on the costume were mechanical web shooters after all, let us hope they are simply deactivated and not broken. Here, file this tissue sample and set the microscope. Wait for the drugs to wear off and write down the time, we'll take a blood sample tomorrow, we’re not sure how resistant he is to anesthesia after all."

He was barely aware he was back at the cell, his eyes closed and heavy and his body relaxed, the drugs still in his system. He could feel what he guessed was Wade's body heat all around him and he would've never thought he'd feel so warm and serene in Weapon X but the bubble that formed around him due to the sedatives and Wade's ability to bring him comfort made him feel like he was on another planet. Wilson was repeating something, saying the words fervidly like a mantra. -"All my fault. This is all my fault!"

Peter snapped his eyes open as much as his drug induced body allowed him to after making out what the words were. Wade was curled in on himself, pushing Spider-man so hard against his chest it felt close to asphyxiation. -"Wade."- He muttered, the word feeling funny over his still numb tongue.

The mercenary looked at him, his eyes red and puffy, gripping at Peter's hand with care he displayed the angry red incision that was on his wrist. -"They are already experimenting with you. I can't see you ending up like me, I can't sit here and wait for you to become mad too." 

Peter stared at his wrist, a poor attempt at stitches jumped from one side of the scar to the other. He used his free hand and placed it around Deadpool's, which was still holding his wrist up in frustration. -"I’m not becoming a weapon. They are not trying to _give_ me powers, Wade."- Peter spoke slowly, trying to make his words clear. - "They're trying to _take_ them from me."

Wilson squinted his eyes and tilted his head, his cheek still slightly purple from the assault he had taken the day before, he looked like a confused puppy and if Peter hadn't been so out of energy he might've reached up to pet the man's head or kissed his face better. The desire to smooch the man grew from deep within his self, it felt raw and instinctive as if being overtly affectionate would help him get a grip on reality. Was he sick already? Or were those the drugs affecting him?

"Peter?"

He was brought back to the present by the question. He bit his lip in distress, wondering how exactly this would go.- "I'm ... I'm Spider-man."

Wade's face was translucent, every emotion flashing on it as if reflected on a crystal. Surprise, disbelief, understanding, happiness, worry, anger, sadness. -"Peter."- as if his face had not been enough, emotion flooded his voice as well. And Wade sounded so disappointed to have found something he'd wished to hear for so long in a place he'd wished to never be in again; now he knew Spider-man's name, but he also knew that not only Peter was stuck in Weapon X with him... Spider-man was as well.- "Oh, fuck. Fuck!"- Wade hid his face in his own hands, not knowing what to do about the whole situation. He was being hugged, warm hands going around his shoulders and every feeling hit him double as hard when he thought about this other man with him being two people he liked. Two people that were stuck in this place because of him not bringing Weapon X down.

Parker was shushing Wade’s whimpering, holding him tighter with each sob and he wasn't sure if he was doing it to comfort Wade or because he needed this himself, he needed someone and being hugged worked as well as hugging somebody else. They were a mess, they were Deadpool and Wade, Spider-man and Peter, four men in the same cell and it became suffocating. -"The Avengers, the... the X-men, they'll be looking for us. If we can't break out then they'll break in, Wade."

Wade felt the caress of a pair of lips on his forehead and it must've been an accident because certainly Spider-man wouldn't go that far to comfort him and nobody would want to kiss his skin. - _'Yes! you imagined it_.' - ' _Kids with acne are hard to kiss. You... you're just impossible._ " -The helpful voices in his head provided.

Peter moved away after a moment when a clattering noise announced that they'd received food and water. Wade remained sitting at the corner with his eyes closed when he started getting poked, a plate of food appearing in front of him.

"It's not chimichangas... but you've eaten worst, I know. I've seen it."

Parker smiled as he handed him the tray, a brown and suspicious blend of food that smelt like trash; but hell, he didn't even notice the shitty taste the food had as he stared at Peter's smile, it was everything he had imagined Spider-man's smile would be like under the mask. He could've been eating caviar or worms, it all tasted like rainbows when Peter smiled. If he stared at it for enough time Wade could even smile a little as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There's gore and violence in this chapter, please take that into consideration._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Hello. It's me again. Every saturday here like a recurring nightmare.  
> Honestly I think you'll all just kill me after this chapter.
> 
> I'd like to thank- as always, everyone who sent nice comments, left kudos and trusted enough in my story to bookmark it. I mean, the second week I got as many kudos as the first one! that's crazy! it usually goes downhill.  
> I forgot to tell you all but [I'm on tumblr!](https://xweapon.tumblr.com), I don't post my writing there, but I do post spideypool stuff, amongst other things, you're invited to come and visit any day.

The next day, Wade was taken from his cell first, a curious sound escaping the doctor when he found them cuddling on the floor sleeping. -"Sorry to interrupt, buddy."

Peter scratched at the stranger's arm like a feral cat as he disentangled them from each other, receiving the expected electric shock for his troubles. It seemed like it would become a habit, to do as much damage as possible in the few seconds before the first wave of electricity hit. It was worth it, the hissing sound the man let out felt like music to his ears; and to Wade's too, he was grinning like a child on holidays.

Parker grimaced as he watched Deadpool's back when they walked away, pushed around by his arm like a heavy rag doll, and he went back to sitting in the corner, trying to preserve the heat of the floor that had started fading. His muscles felt tired from the stress the electric blow made them go through and he frowned, thinking about how he was going to grab the taser next time and what good could it really do to have it for a short time until the other men in the facility tackled him to take it back. Wade had warned him the night before, he had explained that Weapon X had a twisted torture method for altruists in which if you did something wrong and did not care for your own wellbeing they'd just punish somebody else instead of you, some other person would take responsibility for your actions and most probably someone you cared for. Peter knew this person would be Wade for him now that the doctor had seen them thrown all over each other while sleeping.

He had some time alone to think before he was being pulled up and manhandled by a random guy that worked for Weapon X. Peter wished they'd wear tags with names, it didn't even have to be their names, he just wanted to add an identity to the people that were hurting them.

Surprisingly, he was not taken to any sort of stretcher or lab table, he was pushed against a wall and freezing water was thrown at him repeatedly, sometimes it was mixed with cheap soap and it got into his eyes, he rubbed them and lowered his head, trembling at the coldness but glad he was finally clean.  He was handed no towel but they gave him back his tunic, it stuck to his body uncomfortably and he could tell the guards were staring at him, morbidly enjoying how he had been reduced to something powerless.

When he got back to his cell, escorted by the very same guy from before, an equally clean and thank-to-god conscious Wade Wilson was waiting for him. He smiled faintly after watching Peter coming back but his eyes looked tired and sore, no trace of drugs on him. It could mean nothing had happened but all Peter could think about was that whatever was done to Wade it was done without anesthesia. 

Parker instantly walked closer to Deadpool looking for body heat after the cold shower but he stopped when he was a step away from Wade and stared at him through his lashes, asking for permission for the first time. It seemed fitting since for once the contact didn't feel like a necessity but just a craving. Wade laughed, extending his arms and rejoicing when they were full of Spider-man. -"And to think you didn't let me hug you before this. Go figure all I needed was for us to be captured together in order to get you all cuddly." 

Peter couldn't understand from where exactly it was that the mercenary drew his energy from, with the food they were getting he was barely able to stand, pushing all of his weight against Wade, he hid his face on the crook of Wade’s neck. -"Shut up."- He muffled against the scarred skin, feeling sheltered. Then, on a second thought, he added - "I was doomed the instant I tried it. You're a good hugger, it's... going to be a hard habit to get rid of." - And it was true, Wilson had a big body and strong arms, he put a piece of his soul in each hug he gave out, keeping his grip tight enough to make you feel safe but not enough to feel suffocated. Also, he was always warm.

Deadpool hummed, trying not to show his excitement at the praise and the bitterness at the thought it was a habit that would be broken. -' _Maybe..._ '- he started thinking, just before the voices in his head jumped in -' _You can't keep him, he deserves better. Anyone deserves better than you_.' - Wilson swallowed, he knew it was the truth but it hurt. – ‘ _Either you stay at Weapon X together or bye bye cuddles. So, if I were you, which I sort of am, I'd... take a second to appreciate the moment..._ '- Wade agreed, pressing harder against Peter, which should be uncomfortable in their wet tunics but it got them both sighing. -' _...And, you know, touch his butt_.'- The voice finished, destroying the poetic atmosphere it had built up until then. Deadpool chuckled at that, he did agree it was a good opportunity but he didn't think it was a good moment.

"Maybe..."- He finally said out loud, biting at his own cheek nervously, -"Maybe you don't need to get rid of this habit."- Peter turned in his arms, raising his head to look at him, his nose brushing against Wade's neck for some glorious instant. But he kept staring, without making any comment, and Deadpool feared he'd spoken too much. -"If you want to, I... I mean I'd want to. Once in a while. Like, once a month would be healthy, right? Alternatively you can forget I ever said that and I'll go sit by the toilet right there on the opposite corner."

Peter's eyes were unreadable, as if he was still wearing his Spider-man mask. He was blushing a bit but his nose was red from the cold so Wade wasn’t able to tell. Peter was a bit insecure about the possible outcome if he agreed to have something constant with Deadpool, maybe he had attached to the mercenary only because of their current condition after all; but then when it took him too long to reply and Wade started pulling away from their embrace he found himself missing the contact. -"No!"- The word left his mouth before he could filter it, it was desperate and depressingly needy. He stared at Deadpool right in the eyes, he was furrowing his brow and waiting for some sort of command or hint on what to do.

Parker gripped Wade's arms and pushed them around himself, positioning them back as they were before and looking away as he explained. -"It doesn't seem like a ... bad habit to have."

Deadpool opened his mouth in disbelief for a second and then smiled and Peter realized he hadn't seen Wade smiling an honest full smile ever since they'd been stuck here, it was a very contagious grin. - "No, no it isn't."- then Wade leant down and for a second Spider-man was terrified of the fact he might be getting kissed, but Wade only nuzzled his neck softly and breathed in the cheap soap, pleased with himself. Peter realized after a minute staring at the wall that had he been kissed, he might have actually kissed back.

 

\---

They had not been bothered much afterwards, Weapon-X minions only keeping them fed, clean and even, in Peter's case, shaved. But they didn't allow that to let their guards down, if anything they were worried about what was to come.

As the noisy heavy door creaked open one more time and the scientist appeared both Wade and Peter stood up, disentangling from each other and staring at the man in front of them with tired eyes.

The man's black eyes settled on Peter and Spider-man felt relieved that those pupils were focused on himself and not on Wade. Then the daily ritual began taking place again as the doctor pushed him out of the safety of the cell. - "Today's your lucky day, buddy, after the blood extraction we'll give you a lollipop, mh?" - How was it that this guy fitted so perfectly into the disgusting villain textbook? Where did he even get those quotes from?

Deadpool was jumping towards the doctor but before he could get in between him and Peter he was being pointed at with the taser. Peter knew an opportunity when he saw one, gripping the scientist's wrist with his left hand and using his right elbow to crush the arm that was extended in front of him, the taser falling to the floor noisily.

In between the man's screams echoed Wade's chuckles, who laughed as he bent down to get the taser; he grabbed Peter's arm and started running like a mad man, trying to get past as many doors as possible. They didn't go too far before getting tackled by the facility guards in a narrow hallway, they managed to leave half of them unconscious in between the taser and the punches before the doctor caught up with them, his broken arm hanging as dead weight from his shoulder. He carried a gun with the other.

The deafening noise of a gunshot made everyone shut up and freeze, everyone but Peter, who let out a loud, sharp shout at the sight of Wade's body falling to the floor, a bullet decorating his forehead, blood blossoming like flowers from the wound. And it had been so predictable, so easy to see every way escaping with no plan would go wrong, that each second felt like a deja-vu. 

"Let this be a lesson for you."

Peter was held down despite his efforts to get away, something was injected into his system and everything became blurry.

"No one escapes Weapon X."

Spider-man chuckled, it was a dark and far from sane noise, a glimpse of what the past days were making of him. His tongue heavy as he spoke. -"Wade did."

He passed out.

 

\---

 

Wade Wilson woke up to find himself in a pool of blood, he hurried up to search for Peter and almost fainted for the effort. He had a high tolerance for pain but everything hurt. A _lot_.

"Stay still. I'm fine."- Spider-man's voice was hoarse and devoid of emotion, nothing soothing about it.

"What happened?"- he calmed down after his friend appeared in his field of vision, staring down at him; he had a black eye, spider-web patterns of broken blood vessels and purple framing his lashes and creating a high contrast against the white of the eye. -"They hurt you." - The mercenary stated in a mournful voice, he tried to reach for Peter in order to touch his cheek and realized his hand was utterly destroyed, looking like something just out from a meat grinder, he pulled it back in shame.

"They hurt you too. They killed you."- Parker wailed at the memory and Wade really wished his healing factor would hurry up because he needed his hands right about now in order to reach for Peter.

Wade was not stupid, he realized how Peter coped with pain in a very tactile way and he wasn't about to start thinking whether feeding that compulsion was the best decision or not, if there was something he could give Peter that would help him calm down, he was going to give it away instantly. Except he couldn't, because they had fucking wrecked his hand.

"You know I heal. I can't die."- He commented, comforting Peter with sweet words or at least trying to, since it didn't seem to be working. Peter was clenching his fists so tight his knuckles where white, it sounded as if he was about to have an asthma attack, breathing noisily as if each intake of breath was an immense effort.

"But you can, that’s the thing. You _can_ die. You just did! You died just there in front of me and it took so long for you to fix up, they hurt you so much it took _hours_. And I started thinking maybe you didn't have your healing factor, maybe they'd taken it back from you these days and you were dead for good. And you were so cold, your body was so cold! I would talk to you and you'd just stare back."

Wade was going to kill absolutely everybody in this place before leaving, he was going to do it slowly and painfully, enjoying each scream as if they were a delightful melody, might even record it for future enjoyment. Because he knew they'd broken Peter the instant he heard him sobbing in between each word, his eye still bloody, cheeks filled with small red cuts from when they had shaved him only to get splashed with alcohol until his whole face was burning, his lips dry and face sunken and worn after going so long without decent food; Peter was making himself look smaller and it broke the mercenary's heart, it killed him to see that Weapon X had done this to yet another person, to Spider-man, to Peter.

It took a while but eventually Wade got his hands back and he was able to cradle Peter against his chest as he cried himself to sleep, letting out his frustration. Wade kept making shushing noises, just like Parker had done on their first day they found themselves locked up in the cell, intent on helping his friend calm down and doing his best to make him forget.


	4. Chapter 4

Peter felt different after that day, after having been pushed to the floor, kicked, punched and stepped on; after watching Wade getting killed in front of him and his body going through torture and mutilation, the sick people in the room enjoying the way Spider-man shouted in despair and horror each time something sharp came in contact with the mercenary's unconscious and lifeless body, asking for them to stop, saying it was enough. He no longer felt hope, didn't have the energy to do so, resigned to a life and death at the hands of Weapon X. Each time his eyes closed he felt his imagination spiraling downwards towards miserable thoughts and bad memories, so he tried not to do so. He could not remember his personality before getting caught and locked up and he honestly doubted he'd ever be able to go back to it, as if it had broken to pieces and no matter how much he pulled them back together he wouldn't be able to find them all.

"Do you have a family?"- Wade had noticed the dark train of thoughts his friend was going through and attempted to take him away from it. -"Don't say full names, just in case they are listening." -He whispered in warning.

Peter hummed, they were at the corner of the cell again, holding hands. It was ridiculous but while holding on to Deadpool he felt like he could keep going, like gripping a lifeline. -"Yeah. Yeah I do."- Peter swallowed, he hadn't allowed himself to think of his loved ones yet. -"I have an aunt, she's very sweet and… she has a very strong character."- May… she probably was looking for him everywhere.

"Mh. Can I meet her once we're outta here? I promise to behave."

Parker took a second to imagine that and he managed a smile, it was a tired and faint smile but it was there. -"Sure, why not.”

"Is she the type of aunt that bakes you cookies?"- Wade's thumb drew circles on Peter's hand, moving fingers out of the way to massage the palm.

Peter snorted. -"She is, but I would not recommend eating them."- The soft kneading movements at the base of his fingers had him relaxing and he knew only looking at Wade’s face and his stupid naïve expression what the man was trying to do, he was trying to lift his mood and get rid of his depression.

"Oh, I guess I'll have to bring the cookies. I always eat the raw mix before it gets to the oven, though."

Thinking about Wade baking and looking too big for his aunt's kitchen, Peter wanted to kiss him. He wanted to go back in time, before all hell had broken loose, back when he was Spider-man and Deadpool barely knew him. He should've taken the time to get to know Wade, pay attention to what he said instead of brushing him off as a one dimensional person filled with nothing but senseless violence. He should've wanted to kiss him _before_ , when it had been simpler. As soon as they were out of here and his body gained enough energy he was going to make sure to erase each time he'd mistreated Deadpool. It made him chuckle, a few seconds ago he had been waiting to die in this rotten facility and now he was thinking of getting out not to see his family or friends nor to continue with his responsibilities as Spider-man, but to shamelessly suck at Wade's lips, his priorities where a mess.

 "… What is it?"- Wade heard the chuckle and looked worried at the prospect Peter might have developed his own pair of head voices.

"Nothing, I … just… we'll get out of here, right?"- If Peter had not been staring at the floor in front of him he'd have noticed the way Wade had started nodding even before he was done asking the question, full of determination.

"Yes, we will."

For some reason, it was easy to believe him.

 

\---

 

They realized pretty soon that they had been left to starve as punishment for their rebellious behavior. They could manage without the water supply since after a brief discussion Peter accepted that the back of the toilet, the cistern, was a source of clear(ish) water. The issue was: three days had gone by and Peter had not eaten anything. In the light of how he had not received a considerable amount of quality food in the last weeks, he had lost too much weight and three days on food withdrawal made an important difference. Weapon X usually preferred their subjects alive, either they got what they wanted or they could get it from a corpse.

"Just bite a chunk off me and swallow already."- Deadpool was frantic, he had Peter's head resting on his lap and had been insisting on feeding the man his own flesh in order to keep him in better shape.

"I am not going to do that, Wade, stop it."

They had been going back and forth with their arguments almost all day and Peter had just closed his eyes and refused over and over as if he were talking with a kid about putting some candy in the shopping cart. 

"Please, it's not something I haven't done before. Just… imagine it's a terribly flavored marshmallow. Nobody will judge you for it."

Spider-man sighed, feeling much older than he was and terribly cold. -"I don't care if you've done this before. I haven't. I won't."

The mercenary groaned, muttering something about a stubborn jackass and using his hands to rub Peter's arms and shoulders to keep him warm.

Truth is both of them would rather be left to starve than having to see the mad doctor again. For Peter, starving to death was just fine.

 

\---

 

Parker had gone by without food for a week by the time they heard a siren wailing loudly; Wade would bring him water and continue to insist in feeding pieces of himself to Peter but the man would close his mouth instantly each time an arm was put in his field of vision for him to munch on, even though he had no energy to even walk anymore. Had he been anyone else and not Spider-man, he would've passed away already.

Wade flinched at the noise, the siren echoed loudly through the facility. - _'That can either be really good news or really bad news_.'- Either way he hurried to carefully carry Peter to a corner and crouch in front of him, waiting.

It felt like hours until he saw his old friend Logan. He was suited up in his X-men costume and his claws were covered in crimson red; Wolverine turned his head and stared at Wade and Peter, recoiling in a corner, starving and freezing, his face lit up in anger. His movements were feral, shoulders stiff and hunched, probably too far gone because of how close to home this was hitting him. 

"You can't gut people when you're with the X-men for fuck's sake, if you want to go solo…"-  Scott Summers soon strode into the room and stopped mid-sentence after seeing the pitiful image the mercenary and what was an unknown boy to him were making. Logan stared at Scott and no word exchange was needed, Cyclops was melting the metal bars of the cell and crouching next to them to help Wade up without pause.

Wade took Scott's hand, accepting his assistance, and soon turned to hold on to Peter, lifting him up after getting one hand around his legs and another on his back. Wolverine stood close to them in case he needed to intervene, after Deadpool gave a brief nod that conveyed he was ready to go they were running towards the closest exit.

"Took a while to find you, bastards made a good job at covering their traces."- Logan spoke as they went, sounding as apologetic as Logan could sound. He clawed at everything that moved close to him, paranoid, more wolverine than man. After enduring Weapon X you would always feel scared of them, it was a fear that time could not wear out, it was burnt into your system.

"We're almost out Petey, hold on baby boy."- He soothed his friend even though he doubted he was conscious. Each moment he spent rushing towards the exit was a second more Spider-man went by with abnormally low body temperature.

Wade blinked his eyes open and found he had carried himself into the blackbird jet almost on autopilot. Peter was instantly taken off his hands and carried to the plane infirmary and the mercenary had started panicking about it when Logan placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. -"He'll be all right, kid. You should rest…"- He sniffed the air tentatively. -"And shower."

 

\---

 

Peter woke up to find himself in the Weapon X laboratory. He wasn't certain but he could feel a stretcher underneath him. He realized a needle was stuck to his arm so he opened his eyes in panic, reaching for the tube that was draining a substance into him. What was it this time? What were they doing to him now?

A woman dressed as a nurse tried to stop him and Spider-man pushed her away violently, not bothering to watch her fall as he yanked himself off the bed.

"Peter! Petey it's fine! Stop!"

Parker halted abruptly when he heard Wade and lifted his gaze to find the merc with a mouth in front of him, dressed in his signature black and red uniform. Wade made a silent gesture with his hand to the nurse and she practically ran out of the room, leaving them alone.

"I guess I'm not the only one scared of hospitals anymore."- Deadpool walked towards him and rested a hand on Peter's chest, pushing him back against the bed. He didn't take his hand back afterwards, leaving it there to feel Peter's rapid heartbeats. -"The X-men found us. We're in the X-Mansion, in the medic bay because you were terribly malnourished. Also, the nurse will understand, you're a better patient than half of the X-men."

Parker closed his eyes and rested his head against the pillow. They were no longer in Weapon X. -"I should call my aunt, tell her I'm fine."- He sighed, using his fingers to brush his hair back and away from his face. He noticed the scar on his wrist and was invaded by sorrow, even if they had got out, they had brought souvenirs with them. A hand was placed around the joint softly, hiding the scar underneath it; Wade was staring at him, he was wearing the Deadpool mask but by now Peter could read his body language enough to tell he was feeling sympathy. 

"You will be fine."

Spider-man nodded and when his hand was freed he opened his arms to the mercenary.

Deadpool was struck with amazement, he did not expect a hug request so soon, or ever, guessing the spider had been cuddly just because he was in a traumatizing situation with only him as a companion or because the cell had been terribly cold. - _'Pstt, you should probably hug him now, before he realizes what he's doing…and close your mouth before you get drool all over the mask_.'- Wilson obeyed, burying himself in between Peter's arms awkwardly, the fact he was standing and Peter laying down made the embrace quite awkward but it was still glorious. Peter's arms, thankfully strong and warm now, circling around his shoulders and pushing them close together.

"You will be fine too."- Peter mumbled close to his ear, pointing out that they'd _both_ gone through hell, sometimes it was easy to forget that because it had been a new experience just for Peter, but Wade had lived through it too. Twice. Honestly, had Wade been offered to go back and get himself out before Weapon X found him he would have refused, getting to know Peter felt more valuable than saving himself from what he had been through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOoooo, it was a short chapter. You're about... one fifth of the fic in already, nicely done! Some of you are really committed to following this story, I appreciate it. We'll see how this mess goes from here, I know some of you think the story's heading somewhere else before I update, I hope my way is just as interesting ♡


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly update ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿  
> Thank you all for reading, leaving kudos, comments and bookmarking.  
> I can't believe this fic is already at +100 kudos.

Peter was awkwardly standing in the mansion living room, some clothes had been lent to him and Wade was proudly wearing his black and red unitard, thankfully after one more day under medical surveillance they had been set free. A few kids walked and run throughout the room, some stopping to stare at Deadpool, who'd enjoy the attention by making funny gestures at them and waving enthusiastically; surprisingly, children seemed to like him, laughing shyly and waving back. A kid that Peter recognized as Genesis beamed at the sight of the mercenary, getting closer to chat with him and give him a small hug. Genesis glanced at Peter a few times but probably due to the bruises and baggy eyes he made no comment about him, only acknowledging his presence with a polite nod before leaving.

"That kid's gonna grow to be an ass kicker, I tell you. Eh… yeah, what is it that we were doing here?"- Deadpool placed his hands in his suit pockets, a recent addition to the piece of clothing. Someone would think that with the thousand pouches there'd be no need for pockets, Wade would disagree.

"I wanted to thank Logan. The whole X team was involved but we both know he was the one that worked the hardest."- Peter scratched at his wrist as he spoke, unused to scarred skin in someone else other than Wade. The mercenary followed the movement and reached out to grab his hand, entwining their fingers together as if they were a couple.

Peter blushed, he had cuddled with the mercenary a million times by now but they had never been very public about it, never so… nonchalant. There had always been strong emotions in the way but at the moment nobody was cold nor suffering or in shock and for some reason that made it feel much more intimate. Nobody in the X mansion seemed to give a damn, kids would only stare because of them being a battered dude and a mercenary, not because of their joined hands. Peter realized then that a bunch of people in the room passing by were holding hands as well, no matter their gender or skin color, which tended to include a lot of blue, mind you. They didn't stand out.

Experimentally, he brushed his thumb against Wade's palm, a barely there caress.

Deadpool felt the soft touch the first time but decided he had imagined it, when he felt it a second time, this once done with more determination and tenacity in such a way it was undeniably there, he turned to stare at Peter in confusion. He was met with a shy smile from the boy and Wade's heart started jumping in his chest. -‘ _You think the nurse gave him something funny?_ ' - ' _Nah, we were there the whole time watching. Must be something else. Psychotic break?_ '- The discussion carried on inside his head and only stopped when the thumb rubbed against his palm again. - ' _God, he's killing me. I survived everything and this of all things will be the death of me._ ' - Wade groaned internally.

Spider-man could hear the gears on Wade's head turning, he had frozen in place and stopped talking, probably having a complete dialogue inside his head the length of a Shakespeare play. Each time Peter stroked his hand the mercenary would make an aborted movement towards Peter, it really did look as if something had broken inside his head… well, something aside the stuff that was already messed up in there. About the fifth time it happened he could not resist but snort, the sound seeming to wake the merc up from his trance because he held Peter's hand closer and smiled wide underneath his mask, stretching the fabric.

That's how Logan found them, standing in the middle of the hallway while holding hands, smiling like idiots. The grunt that the man emitted broke the spell and had them both shying away from each other.

"I was about to go and check up on you boy but it seems you're just fine."- Howlett spoke towards Peter, he had a knowing smirk on his face but he made no comment on the competitive hand stroking that had been going on. He had awkwardly walked into other kinds of competitive stroking before so he was not complaining, it tended to happen when you lived in a house that was overflowing with teenagers.

"Yes, I wanted to thank you. I want to thank the other X-men as well but I can guess you were more involved in this."- As Parker spoke Wade nodded next to him, trying to convey that he meant it at well.

After the gratitude was acknowledged the mercenary took a step forward. - "I need to know… there were some documents about us in the lab."

Wolverine interrupted him, knowing what it was all about. -"We burnt the place down, every piece of paper and tissue sample was destroyed, don't worry."- Every word was soaked in rage, the very memory of experimentation producing a bitter feeling inside of him. He had been hoping Weapon X would stay in the past but no matter how many times he destroyed their facilities they'd crawl back from the dead and spread like a plague.

Deadpool's voice cut through the air as he continued. -"There was a guy. His arm should've been broken. Did you see him?"

Peter flinched, his skin turning paler in recognition.

Logan grinned. -"That bastard, yes. He tried to throw acid on me, his arm is no longer broken because he lost it. It was… clawed off, pity. Cyclops was not happy about it but I'm not happy about the scum being still alive either."- Logan could sniff the waves of panic at the mention of the man being alive so he hurried to explain. -"Not walking around freely, thankfully. He's in prison, one that is far away." - He pointedly looked at the boy next to Wade when he said this, trying to calm him down.- "The X-men thought this fair. I still don't, should've cut his other arm off as well."

 

 

It took a while for them three to relax again but eventually they were talking about relatively conventional things, at least to them. It was only when they started heading outside and Logan asked for Peter's name that they realized nobody else knew he was Spider-man, if the nurse had found out she hadn’t said anything. -"It's Peter… Peter Parker."-  He smiled, extending his arm to exchange hand shakes.

Wolverine lifted an eyebrow at the gesture. -"I've met people that were comfortable amongst mutants, but you are awfully calm around me, that has never happened before with a stranger."

Deadpool giggled at the comment. Logan was not Sherlock Holmes but he had a good sense of smell that enhanced his ability for investigation, he'd probably figure it out eventually so it was easy for Peter to throw a bone at him. -"Oh, I'm not a stranger."

Before any question was asked about that remark, they had both walked out from the mansion, leaving a puzzled Logan behind.

 

\---

 

Deadpool had been following his friend for quite some time since leaving the X mansion and he found himself wondering whether he was overstepping his boundaries with Peter. Sure, they were handholding a while ago but that wasn't exactly an invitation to stick to the guy like chewing gum; so he had started walking at a slower pace, fiddling with his gloves nervously.

"Hey, are you ok?"- Parker had turned around to check on him, slowing down to match his strolling at first and then stopping altogether when he noticed the mercenary had his head lowered and was staring at the floor depressingly.

Wade nodded, he didn't raise his head but he risked a peek upwards and analyzed the baggy eyes and drained expression on the other man. -"You need to get to your aunt and calm her down. You need to rest too."-  He sounded quite doubtful for someone stating something that was evident, Peter's eyebrows were knitted in bafflement, he was trying to understand Wade's train of thought. - _'Choo choo! Nobody ever was fast enough to catch our train of thought. Nice try Petey_.'

"We would be able to do that faster if you didn't walk as if you wanted third place in a snail race."

Spider-man didn't understand what the hell was going on, but by the way Wade's eyes lit up at the first word on that sentence he knew somehow he had said the right thing. Wilson instantly resumed his walking, even hopping once in a while like an excited kid.

"How should I call your aunt?"- The mercenary beamed.

"May. Her name's May."- The name tasted like home as he spoke it.

 

 

A cab drove by and they jumped in, the vehicle taking them to the heart of New York City much faster than they would have managed by foot. The driver made no mention of Deadpool's suit but he did stare a few times through the mirror, wondering whether it was a costumed fan or an original member of the group of freaks that inhabited the city. The mercenary didn't notice, he was too focused in getting his pinky as close to his companion's hand as he could manage, counting it as a success when Peter rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand once and for all.

They reached their stop but not their destination, the cab leaving them a few blocks away from Parker's house because -"We can't let him drop us both at my place, you're dressed as Deadpool and he picked us up from near the X mansion, he'd know too much."- Or whatever. The street was empty and quiet, though, nobody wandered around this part of the city during working hours, and so they made it to the front door of May's place with no hassle.

Peter rang the bell, two times… three times. No answer.

"Peter? Peter is it you my boy?"- A shaky voice joined from behind them, aunt May dropped the two grocery bags she had been carrying and jumped forward like a spring. Both her arms encircled her nephew's shoulders in a tight and welcoming hug. Deadpool scratched his cheek through the mask, not knowing what to do with himself, especially when May started sobbing.

"Oh, oh, please don't cry May"- Peter smiled, patting her back as if it would soothe her. -"I'm ok, I'm here."

His aunt pulled away and placed her palms around his face, examining it carefully. -"I was so worried, you can't imagine. You're all I have left, Peter."- Her nephew made shushing noises at her, they were soft and calming and it made Wade recall their first day together in Weapon X.

"I'm sorry, you know I wouldn't have left you."

May nodded, all of a sudden her expression hardening at the sight of Peter's malnutrition and the violet tints that surrounded his tired eyes. She then turned, taking a look at Wade, who tensed at the scrutinizing stare he was receiving. He was still wearing his mask of course, he didn't want to give her a heart attack, though if she knew anything about Deadpool the mask wasn't much help.

He apparently passed whichever test the lady was carrying on over him, since she lowered her head in a greeting and signaled them both to get inside the house.

"You look like you've missed plenty of your meals." - She said as a plate with a small piece of pie was positioned in front of Peter at the table. - "We'll go slowly, but you'll get to your healthy self after chewing on your Aunt's delicious cookery." - May nodded to herself, agreeing to her own plan and adding another slice of pie, this one in front of Wade.

He had planned to stay in costume and simply not eat but the woman was staring at him in such a way it was obvious this was being interpreted as rude so he bit his lips twice and counted to ten before lifting his mask until his mouth was barely uncovered. May's eyes lowered to his chin and neck for a second, noticing the tumors, but she instantly averted her gaze and started listing the ingredients she had used on the pie.

It didn't take long for Wade to finish his portion, humming in delight after each bite when he felt the crispy and buttery crust dissolving in his mouth. Peter seemed to be enjoying the food as well but he ate slowly in comparison, noticeably trying to hide his injured wrist and bruises, he asked about a 'Mary Jane' and a 'Jameson', who apparently hadn't fired him yet but was planning on lowering his salary for getting abducted.

 

 

When Parker started nodding off on the table May made a gesture with her hands for them to leave and get some rest, Wade decided to give Peter some time to adjust to getting his life back and change clothes so he stayed in the kitchen and helped aunt May with the dishes, he decided not to lower his mask and even lift it higher in order to breathe better and he knew he had made the right decision when a shy smile enlightened May's features, who was proud at the display of confidence. She was a lovely lady, every wrinkle around her eyes told a story about her wisdom and all the experience she had, her hands were careful when she placed them on the mercenary's shoulder. -"I don't know who you are boy, or what happened these days. But you seem to anchor my nephew and he looks more at ease with each step he takes to be closer to you, I can sense you've been taking care of him and he's grown fond of you. Thank you so much."- Wilson had started babbling, trying to explain how he hadn't done a damn thing and the boy had been a victim of something he had failed to destroy in the past, how he was practically to blame for Peter's state. The old lady, though, shushed him and pushed him towards the general direction where Peter had vanished. - "You should go with him, I am still young enough to handle a couple of dishes."

Wade had started leaving, but seemed to change his mind halfway and walked back towards May, mumbling something to himself as he did. Before the lady could scold him for returning he was taking her hand in between both of his, he had thought of kissing it or shaking it but neither seemed appropriate, so he simply held it up as if it were made of glass. -"Wade Wilson. My name is Wade Wilson."

She smiled at the gesture, nodding and memorizing the name. -"May Reilly Parker, please call me aunt May, it's what everyone calls me. Now get going, Wade."- The mercenary grinned as he walked towards where he thought Peter's room was, he couldn't help but compare May to his old friend blind Al, they were nothing alike in personality but Wade felt like they were both very strong women who'd be there when you felt like you couldn't keep going anymore, they would talk you into standing up each time you fell. Only blind Al probably cursed a whole lot more while doing so. He missed her somedays, regretting the way he'd treated the poor woman during the first few years after breaking out of Weapon X, she'd taken the worst from him and still loved him enough to reply each time he managed to send a letter to her. He honestly could not understand why she would put up with him.

' _Psst, no time to think about hags. Petey's waiting, he's most likely naked on the bed_.' - ' _Doing what? Sleeping, for sure. He’s probably the kind of guy that sleeps fully dressed_.'- Wade hit his head a few times with his palm, sometimes stirring the brain juices worked to shut the voices down for a while. For about two seconds.

 

 

He knocked on the door of the only room in which the light was on, a muffled -"Come in."- was heard from the other side.

Peter had taken off his T-shirt and was only wearing a pair of cotton trousers that looked worn out but utterly warm and comfortable, they were too big on his lean body and while they would've been too large even before, it hurt Wade to think his friend would’ve worn them better in his prior days to a week worth of no food.

Spider-man had his head buried in a pillow, his hair standing up and softer than ever after a quick shower at the X mansion. The mercenary was tracing each bruise on Peter's back with his eyes, as if he could wish them away and they'd vanish, when Peter turned his face around to look at him. -"Stop staring and come here. We stated before you're a good hugger."

Wilson had been moving on autopilot when he obeyed and got closer to the bed. He made no attempt to go any further so Peter reached for his arm, tugging until he laid down. It took a while for them to get comfortable, unused to lying like this in a soft and warm surface, but eventually Peter had rested his forehead on Wade's shoulder and the mercenary had burrowed a cheek on the silky strands of Peter's hair, he moved a hand in between their bodies awkwardly and unsure of where to place it until the boy sighed and entwined their fingers, guiding their laced hands upwards and closer to his lips until they were so close to his mouth the puffs of hot air warmed the tips of Wade's fingers.

Wade’s heart began beating fast at the proximity. -' _Looser_.' - A voice provided mockingly. - _'In my defense,_ ' - Wade replied, offended. - ' _We've had a crush on him since always… and it's not as if we get laid very often. Or hugged. Or anything_.' - ' _WE don't get laid? Way to throw us all in the same bag. You're the only one that has a body!_ '

 

 

The conversation in his head died out as he grew tired. Peter had already been snoring softly by the time sleep took him over as well. He slept like he had not done in quite some time: comfortable, warm and safe. Weapon X still took some space on his mind but he had learnt to deal with it over the years, ignoring it. He could not help the nightmares sometimes, and he awoke to one, only this time it wasn't his.

Parker was sweating next to him, unconsciously scratching his own scarred wrist hard enough that if Wade had not intervened there would have been blood. Deadpool had no idea what to do, unused to dealing with other nightmares than his own. He decided to wake Peter up when he started crying in his sleep.

May opened the door to find the boy sobbing in Wade's arms, who desperately run his hands up and down on Peter's back and repeated they were safe, his mask lifted above the nose and wrinkled from lying down. The old lady sat by the bed and stretched her hand to grab Peter's, teary eyed at the heartbreaking image her nephew made. Eventually Peter fell asleep again, grasping at both Wade and May in such a way none of them were able to leave his side.

"Where has he been all this time? What happened to him?"- May spoke softly, she was not staring at Deadpool but at the boy curled next to him, her back was aching already at the awkward angle it was bent.

“… Modern Auschwitz, you could say."- Wade had said it meaning to make a brief and non-graphic description to avoid causing a panic but the lady's eyes widened in horror. -' _Oh, I'm quite sure anybody would think Mengele was a sweetheart_.' -' _Douuuuuchebag_.'- The mercenary honestly wanted to say that the boy would be fine now, that everything had been left behind, but when that happens you do not wake up crying like Peter had; so instead he took off his mask with the hand that wasn't under Peter's weight and looked at May in the eyes, finally getting her to turn around and stare back.

For some reason seeing his eyes instead of a mask made May feel like each word Wade said was the truth when he spoke.

"We will make it all better for him. I… I can't promise I’ll give you the same boy you had before but I can promise I will be next to him each time he needs me and that I will do my best to keep him smiling."- The mercenary felt his stomach twist at every word, he really meant it but he wasn't certain their best efforts would get them anywhere. For fucks sake, his best efforts got him anywhere before, he was still a damaged psychopath that talked to voices and killed people for a living, he still could not stop his own nightmares, he could see them even when he was awake. How would he be able to help someone else?

May must have seen the fear in Wade's eyes, must've recognized it. She realized she had lots of work to do, she had two boys to take care of now and she hoped the message she was willing to do her best with both of them got to Wade with a firm nod.


	6. Chapter 6

Eventually they found a rhythm that was pleasant to all of them. Peter went back to living with May for a while, he worked the morning shift at the Daily Bugle but was off duty when it came to The Avengers.

"Sort out your crap, kiddo. The X-men communicated with us, we were looking for you too, you know?" - Tony Stark had contacted him and sounded defeated by their failure as a team to help more, they had assisted the X-men but in the end they didn't know much about what they were dealing with. - "Take some days off, you'll still get paid, I'll see to it."

Deadpool vanished during daytime but came back to the Parker's for dinner and to keep Peter company during the night. - _'Not in the sexy way, sadly_.'- Wade shrugged, he didn't mind, he was getting cuddles and helping a friend. He still had his job as a mercenary and managed to get enough deals in New York to stay and buy gifts for the Parkers, though May didn't accept them because they were _too much for her_ and Peter neither because he knew where the money had come from. -"They were bad people! I swear! They kicked puppies and all that stuff!" - Wade had insisted, but he was actually glad that Peter's ethics were still solid after having gone through so much. Eventually he decided to take some minor jobs that did not involve killing, once in a while, in order to buy gifts that Peter would take. -"No blood was spilt for this bar of chocolate, compadre."- and he'd rejoice at the tiny smile that found its way to Peter's face.

It was stupid and out of a crappy teenage romance novel, but Deadpool had never hidden he had a borderline obsessive crush on Spider-man and it had spread towards Peter, now that Spider-man was actually accepting Wade couldn't help his compulsion to _give_. Chocolates, comic books, even a pair of new warm socks when he noticed Peter walking around dressed as if he was about to visit Russia in winter; he had actually been expecting to had those rejected, it was a surprise when he found Peter wearing them the following day.

Aunt May pampered them both immensely, stocking them up on cocoa and cookies, handing them out an infinite amount of blankets during the night so that they wouldn't get cold.

Unfortunately, Wade soon found out he had enough tools to create a pillow fort.

Peter walked into his room after showering, he had his two piece spider-man pajamas on and was stretching his arms above his head, feeling relaxed after exposing his stiff muscles to a constant stream of hot water. The bedroom door barely opened before getting stuck on a pillow that was lying on the floor.

"… Should've expected this sooner."- Peter sighed at the mess his room had been turned into, more cushions than he owned (how?) were scattered all over the place, a small tent of sheets around his bed in the middle of it. Bearing in mind that Wade was a little over sized, his head shaped the top of the tent like a glorious lone pole; Peter could see he was trying very hard to keep still in order to not make the structure fall apart, it was ridiculous.

Parker gripped the tip of the blanket and pulled it upwards, uncovering Wade as if it was a magic trick. -"I am sorry if I offend you, but we need to work on your architectural ways."- All the reply he got was a pout and Peter smiled in return. It had been a while since he had built a pillow fort but his hands were itching to do so after seeing Wade's attempt at it. -"Let's make a better one."

May found them the following morning, she was about to shout at Peter to wake up, he was late for work, but stopped herself when the door opened to reveal the colossal structure of blankets, even more blankets than they owned ( _how?_ ). She carefully walked towards it and peeked inside; it had indeed been weird that last night had been nightmare free for both of the boys, certainly the pillow fort had helped. Wade and Peter were tangled up on the bed, a few pillows invading their space and her nephew's mouth hanging open in his sleep, they looked childish and awkward in their uncomfortable postures, May's heart almost melted. She remembered walking into similar situations when Ben was still next to her.

The pillow fort stood there for two weeks, until they realized the nightmares had reduced no matter how many cushions they removed.

 

\---

 

Peter caressed the scar on his wrist absentmindedly as he sat on his desk at the office, he was going through a selection of pictures and the uneven skin reminded him of Wade nowadays instead of Weapon X. Soon he was going to return to work with the Avengers and he felt like he needed to make things clear with Wade first, 'Sort out your crap.', Tony had said, well, Wade was part of that crap… -' _That was terrible, I should paraphrase that_.'

It was clear by now that he wanted to _kiss_ Wade, they had been cuddling since forever and they held hands on some occasions. So yes, he did want to kiss Wade and also fuck him against a wall, especially when he came out of the shower completely soaking or when he helped May bake food or when they were lying so close his body warmth and breath invaded Peter, he honestly wanted to fuck him most of the time… only he was waiting for the right time to bring it up. Finally he could think about what had happened as something distant that had shaped his personality instead of something that haunted him, as a horrible, _horrible_ scenario in which he had met Wade Wilson. Surely, he would have preferred for it to have been another way, but it was still the way he had met Wade Wilson. 

He stared at his hands, they were no longer skinny nor dry. May had certainly made sure of that. Some of his friends had visited him too, thankfully during daytime when Wade was away. It wasn’t as if he wanted to hide his weird unnamed relationship with Wade, it was only really hard to explain why the hell Deadpool was in his house, mask on or not. He had not been able to open up about what had happened and couldn't exactly explain his whole situation to a therapist in a way that didn't give away that he was Spider-man so he kept bottling it up and it would all eventually blow up but he felt better than he thought he'd be able to. So he was running out of excuses to avoid pinpointing where he stood when it came to Wade. Peter was not certain what he'd be committing to if he came on to Deadpool but he was willing to risk it.

 

\---

 

Wade had a tiny problem. He was at the top of one building with his semiautomatic rifle, aiming at a guy's head, when suddenly all he could see through the sights was green fairy dust. -"Typical!"- The mercenary lifted his arms in mock surrender, turning and dropping the gun on the floor. -' _Floor or roof?. How do you put it when you're standing on a roof terrace?_ '.

In front of Wade, Loki was dangerously grinning. It wasn't hard to tell it was Loki, the man had a certain vibe to him that was a telltale no matter which shape he took. He looked younger than last time Wade had seen him but he still had that particular mischievous thing going on. -"Ah, I see you have grown eyebrows, about time."- Wade commented bitterly, in all honesty he had not enjoyed very much the last time he had seen the god, Loki had insisted he was Wade's father and thank you very much, but he'd prefer his shitty absent father over this guy any day. Surprisingly for everyone the deity had been lying. -' _That was sarcasm. Sometimes it's hard to tell when it's written but indeed, it was sarcasm_ '.

Loki strolled towards Deadpool and offered him a hand, since the mercenary had been kneeling on the floor and had yet to stand. - "Well, at least one of us had to have eyebrows."

Wilson snarled and shook off Loki's hand, standing on his own and pushing his chest out in an attempt to look bigger, unused to finding men larger than him -' _Just to be clear, we are not talking about penises'_. - "Of course you'd tell the truth when it is one that hurts." - Wade pouted and the other bastard laughed loudly, he always seemed to enjoy their bantering and in some dark deep place in his mind Wade thought that if Loki had been his father, he'd have probably been pretty proud of him as a son. - _'How low does your self-esteem have to be in order to feel gleeful when the deity of trash approves of you?_ '

Deadpool forwent his current mission, after all the pay was pretty shitty. The man he was about to kill would have to live a few more days, probably until some other mercenary with free time took the job. -"What is it that you want?"- He questioned as he bent to get his gun, feeling safer while holding it even if there were more chances that a god would die than himself. He was also pretty certain Loki didn't pay friendly visits, he was here because he wanted something.

The liar started pacing from one side to the other, holding a lean finger to his chin in wonder. -"I want… I want a lot of things, that's a pretty broad topic."

Ah, Wade hated gods, they had too much time so they wasted other's. - "Cut the crap. What do you want from _me_?"

That seemed to make it, since Loki turned serious, his lips becoming a thin line and his brows almost touching each other in concentration. - "I need you to send a message to Hela from me."

' _And the world's greatest mercenary has been diminished to a carrier pigeon, just like that_.'- Wade, for once, agreed with his voices, he was not going to be played down like that, he wasn't some regular...

"I'll pay whatever you want."

Deadpool accepted.

 

They went to a cafe to talk about the deal, Loki shapeshifted into a teenage girl who looked just as mischievous as he was, which tended to be what happened with most teenagers anyway, and Wade used his projecting device to change his appearance, after placing it around his neck. It was funny how the most public places tended to be the best location to discuss private matters, especially when it was a crowded cafe filled with working people and students during a weekday.

"Isn't Hela like… your daughter?"- Wilson spoke as he stuffed his mouth with a muffin.

Loki grimaced at the sight… or maybe at the mention of Hela. -"Just as much as you are my son."- Taking their bumpy story when it came to this topic into account, he considered that answer to mean that it was an uncertainty. -"And besides,"- The god added. -"Her being my daughter would mean nothing in terms of good communication. In fact, parents tend to have the worst transmission system ever with their children."

' _He certainly knows! What with his father…_ '- His voices shut up suddenly at the glare Loki sent Wade's way, as if hearing them. Wade did not complain, he liked the silence in his head, it was unusual.

The god's threatening look remained as he continued speaking. -"I am not exactly on her good side."

Deadpool debated whether to ask if he was indeed on _anybody's_ good side or if it was not a rhetorical statement and Hela was just like myths described her as, a woman with half a beautiful face and the rest a morbid rotting corpse. He didn't speak any of these out loud in the end, nor did he ask why the hell was it that the god had chosen him over anybody else to carry out this task, he asked something else instead. - "So… you said you'll pay me whatever I ask for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick explanations:  
> The Avengers get paid in my story. By whom? Not sure. Tony or shield, probably ¯\\_(._. )_/¯  
> There _is_ a comic in which Loki states that Wade is his son, I didn't make it up and I think I didn't hallucinate it.
> 
> This was a short chapter, sorry about that. It's hard to find where to end them without cutting anything in half and instead give it a sense of completion while keeping some mystery.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brief mentions of drugs. Nothing important just something stupid.

Peter arrived at May's place and breathed deeply, inhaling the sweet smell of home. He had decided that today he was going back to his own apartment, which had probably accumulated at least ten layers of dust after being abandoned for so long.

"You don't bother me, sweetheart, if you need to stay longer I will happily take you in… so long as you take out the trash and fold the clothes once in a while."- Apparently no distressing experience was enough to skip house chores, not with May. Peter appreciated it actually, she had been there each time a bad memory flooded him, holding his hand and distracting him with tales about her and Uncle Ben, but she had still treated him like her Peter.

He packed the very few clothes he had brought to May's and left some behind in case he came back and needed to change, it had become quite a habit after turning into Spider-man, leaving spare clothes everywhere. He stopped when he noticed one of Wade's plain white T-shirts lying on the bed they had been sharing, the mercenary had brought very few things over to the house which included a pair of T-shirts, underwear, a spare mask, a toothbrush and a weird looking plushie that attempted to be an animal, though which one nobody knew for sure.

 "I am controlling myself, Petey, otherwise this place would be crowded. Guns on that wall…" - Wade put an arm around Peter's shoulder and pushed their sides together until their heads were facing the same direction, using his hand to point at said wall.  -"Explosives on that other one."- He spun them around until they were looking at it. -"No trash bin, just let the garbage furnish the place until there's no empty spot."- He sighed, satisfied, letting go of Peter and smiling proudly to himself as if he had just recited poetry akin to Shakespeare. -' _We should add Interior Designer to our curriculum_.'

Peter rolled his eyes. -"Or until the place smells like death."- Wade seemed awfully offended at the comment, murmuring something about death smelling fine, but he got distracted when Peter threw a pillow at him.

Peter cradled Wade's T-shirt in his hands protectively, he wished for the mercenary to move in with him but wanted to wait until he got better, until he could be sure Deadpool had gone back to hanging out with Spider-man because of their good chemistry and not because he felt responsible for the traumatized mess he had become. - _'Baby steps. I should probably ask him out first… or something_.'- He didn't really want to think what a Wade Wilson inside a restaurant would imply, probably nothing good for whomever was running the place.

"Am I interrupting something?"- Wade appeared at the door and lifted what would've been an eyebrow, had he any hair, at the sight of Peter practically hugging his T-shirt. He was still wearing his suit but May had applied a 'masks off' rule in the house so the disbelief on Wade’s face was visible.

Spider-man let go of the piece of clothing, startled. -"No, I… I was packing."- Which must've taken longer than planned, considering the mercenary had arrived and he only came back by evening.

Deadpool was picking up the dropped shirt from the floor when he heard the reply, it confused him, he didn't like people going away. -"You're leaving?"

"Yes."- At the panicked sight that Wilson made he hurried to specify. -"But not New York! I'm moving back to my apartment, we can hang out there as well."- That seemed to work, since the alarmed expression shifted into a wide smile. It made him feel at ease to know that Deadpool wanted to stay close as well. -"In fact, you can help me take my stuff there, it’s far and I'm not ready to use the web shooters… not yet."

Peter handed Wade the heavy suitcase and a couple of short boxes after waiting for him to put on the mask to go out, and ushered him to the door, May added frozen food to the pile, kissing them goodbye on their cheeks.

 Even if Wade had great strength, he was having some issues with balance, particularly the minute after they excited the house since Peter teasingly slapped his butt, knowing Wade’s hands were too busy to do something about it.

"Oh! I didn't know he was naughty! gotta warn Santa."

Parker chuckled at the comment, aware it was directed to the voices but not minding at all. -"I'm civil but not prude, Wade. Come on, follow me…"- He stared at the amount of things the mercenary was carrying and took pity on him, snatching a few. -"Let me help you a little there."

It made Wilson huff melodramatically as they continued to walk towards wherever Peter lived. -"You could easily carry all these things, I am the one barely helping here. I expect a reward for my efforts."

Peter smiled, sticking his tongue out.

God, he was so perfect, Wade did not want to go full telenovela romance but Peter Parker looked beautiful and had a great amount of sass without being any less dorky and cute and hot, his hair impossible to keep under control and his big brown eyes had the sweet and warm color of caramel syrup with those long eyelashes framing them. - _'He could share some of his good looks with us, it's because of people like him that there wasn't any left for the rest_.'- Some of his adoration must've seeped through since the boy got closer, until their arms brushed softly as they moved forward.

They reached an ugly building after a while and Peter stopped in front of it, it looked stable enough with basic facilities but the neighborhood was anything but safe and its facade was unpleasant.

"Ah. Yeah, no. You are not staying here."- Wade spoke nonchalantly and it took a while for Peter to answer.

 "What do you mean no? I've been staying here for years and I'm still alive, don’t be so judgmental. Come on, up! up!"

The mercenary was rooted to the spot though, his frown strong enough to wrinkle his mask in disagreement, eventually he turned around and started walking elsewhere, giving Peter no option but to follow him.

"Hey!"- Peter lowered his voice when he noticed people might stare. -"You know I can take care of myself perfectly fine, what are you doing? Where are we even going?!"

 "You are staying with me from now on, I have several places so I can leave you alone if you want but I won't have you staying in some place where half of your neighbors have hired me and the other half were the targets."

They must look funny, a man dressed in a tight unitard while carrying an old suitcase and a leaner man chasing him around while holding frozen food, spitting curses all around. Nobody turned to look at them twice and it only proved Wilson's point further, such a weird sight being ignored as if there were more important things to take care of. -' _Things like dead bodies._ '

Spider-man stopped jinxing everybody to continue discussing, still following Wade. -"Besides, what nonsense are you talking about? My neighbor is a lovely old lady called Samantha, she does nothing but take care of her plants and cook!"

The mercenary hummed, as if trying to remember. -"Sammy? Wears big ass blue glasses and smiles all the time? Lovely lady indeed, very funny too. She sells drugs."

 "No way! You’re making that up!" - Peter couldn't help but laugh.

 "Nono, I'm not. What? It doesn’t fit the drug dealer stereotype?"

Oh fuck, Wade was probably right, the bastard. It made him chortle even louder, the new impression of Samantha imprinting on his mind. Soon Deadpool was laughing along, a wide smile stretching the fabric of his mask, Peter wished the piece of fabric hadn't been in the way.

It wasn't much further that they had to walk to arrive to Wade's apartment, but it certainly looked better. And bigger. Peter hated the feeling that Deadpool had to kill for it, literally; but he swallowed his morality this once and joined the mercenary in the elevator, the man swiped a card and pressed the button to go to the top floor and as soon as the doors opened Peter's jaw dropped so low it made a popping sound.

"How do they even let you in here? They must know you're Deadpool!"- Spider-man all but threw the frozen food on some random table and turned around as he plodded through the room in order to take in every detail.

"I gave the owner of the building some extra cash."- Peter rolled his eyes at predictable bribe.

The site had been barely lived-in, it was apparent because there was actually a trash bin _and no garbage furnishing the place until there was no empty spot_ , the walls were painted in a pale blue shade that felt relaxing to the eyes and the kitchen was open, blending in with the living room completely if not for the short counter that was built in the middle. The sitting room was stocked with electronic devices, such as a television, home theatre and video game consoles, giving off a ridiculously expensive vibe that made Peter want to cry because it was evident that Wade barely spent time in the place. And the couch, damn it, the couch; about four people could fit on that thing and they'd still be able to move their arms freely, Peter's couch would not withstand four people even if they were goblins, and everybody knew he had experience with goblins.

Deadpool excitedly took his hand and carried him to another room, given the fact it was crowded with ammunitions, weapons and cheap movie posters from ages ago that featured girls with too little clothes and guys with too many cars and guns, it was a safe bet that it was Wade's bedroom. A huge bed rested by the wall, adorned with an animal print cover that made Peter snort loudly.

' _And he hasn't even seen the matching thong_.' - _'Thank fuck he has not seen the matching thong, he doesn’t need more nightmares material_.'- Wade pouted at the voices. -"What is wrong with the matching thong?"- Uh oh, he said it out loud, Peter was looking at him strangely.

"What?"

"What?”- Wade feigned ignorance.

Spider-man squinted his eyes at him, suspicious, but he let it go in favor of investigating the room.

As soon as Peter got too close to the bed his spider sense went crazy, jumping up he attached to the ceiling as an automatic harpoon shot towards were he had been standing, the spear connecting to the wall and leaving a hole in it. Spider-man glared at the mercenary from above, the man looked blown away by the quick arachnid reaction instead of guilty for not mentioning such a crucial detail as a harpoon would be. -"Ah! I always forget that thing is there, busted my knees more times with it than during a job." - He shrugged, walking towards the device and pointing it towards the floor, rendering it useless. - "Can never be too careful!" - He added, lifting his index finger as if stating a fact of life.

Peter descended from the ceiling, purposely falling on Wade with a feeling of vengeance that died away as soon as the man caught him, lacing his arms around Parker's waist and turning them around in a ridiculous twirl. -"Stop smiling and put me down! That was dangerous!"- Both of them knew there was not enough threat in his tone.

Wade, of course, didn't let go of him, even when he stopped spinning them around stupidly. -"You're the only one that can survive me."

And suddenly there were too many feelings involved because Wade's words had been full of meaning and desperation and his ridiculously misty blue eyes were looking at his soul and the only thing Parker could do about that was stare back in awe and fright because he realized he was not the only one that needed patching up and the pressure to help another person to pull themselves together was on both of them, not just on Wade.

"Or Wolverine. But he's not as cute."- And the moment was gone. -"And I sorta get the feeling he does not tolerate me sometimes, ridiculous, honestly. I'm anything but intolerable."- The moment was buried underneath ten feet of dirt.

"Please do not talk about Logan when I'm about to kiss you."- Spider-man sighed, resting his forehead on Wade's shoulder.

"Shit! You were about to kiss me? I'll talk about something else! What turns you on? Spiders? Uh… flies?"

Honestly, Peter kissed Deadpool just to shut him up.

Wade's lips were dry and chapped and when Peter lifted his hand to put it on the man's nape he could feel the rough edges that surrounded each peeling patch of skin and it was so strange but so undeniably Wade. He scratched at the skin softly and Deadpool moaned, the sound muffled by Peter's lips, and as soon as Wade opened his mouth to let it out Spider-man stuck his tongue in.

Now it was no longer 'just to shut him up'.

Wade's hands were twitching by Peter's waist, pushing them even closer until they were shivering at the amount of contact. It seemed quite unreal to Wade, particularly the part where they barely crossed paths before all that Weapon X shit happened. He kept going back to the times where he would admire Spider-man and crave for his approval until the press on his lips took him to a dream like state because Spider-man was kissing him. _Peter_ was kissing him. He tried to keep his eyes open and convince himself it wasn’t a figment of his imagination like so many things were but they kept closing without his permission.

When they parted their chests inflated and deflated rapidly as they panted, it was the first time in quite some time they had spent so long this close without talking or sleeping and before it could take them back to their days in a rotting cell the mercenary had taken it as a personal challenge to shower Peter in soft short kisses, tiny pecks that made Parker's heart melt like snow under the sun. They could kiss for hours, it felt like catching up with each time they had stopped themselves from going any further than holding hands, but Peter's stomach seemed to have other ideas, since it started grumbling for attention. It made Wade smile, his lips stretching while resting on the boy's neck daringly. Peter breathed hard through his nose at the feeling. Wilson gripped his hand carefully, his thumb brushing the scar by his wrist, and pulled him towards the kitchen.

"Let's go find where the hell you dropped the frozen food, it's probably thirty percent water by now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't brush off the feeling that after 15k damn words of build up this was rushed.  
> I had to do a lot of editing for this one because it was a mess, whenever I go back to re-reading my own writing I feel like everything was a darn mistake but I'm glad so many of you enjoy it and take the time to leave kudos and comments :)  
> In case you're wondering why I use the chapter summary section for warnings instead of chapter notes, it's because when you download works notes disappear but summaries remain there.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for **sex in this chapter** , please take that into consideration.  
> Remember that you can skip it! My sex chapters are fillers, I've made them to be that way on purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I'm not happy with this chapter.  
> Last week when I posted I noticed things were going too quickly too late and the fic was already written so it was hard to push it all back. The only solution I found for this was to skip time, which didn't feel as discouraging because with how everything felt like too much it seemed fine to give Wade and Peter a break as in - _yeah, time passed but, for once, nothing happened_ \- . And explain why was it that they were waiting and how they felt about it. The result was a chapter double the size it used to be and that still feels lacking to me, I dunno, it tends to happen when I write sex, I just feel like I'm bad at timing it and how I write it in general.  
> I settled for _over a month_ , seemed to be an ok amount of time, didn't state how much over a month so it's up to you and what you feel comfortable with. But I felt as if I stretched it too much it would come to the point where there's too much history between them to start something that they weren't adversed to in the first place ┐(´-｀)┌ didn't want to delete it either cause it is basically naked groping and it worked good as a starting point. What a mess.  
> I should get a damn beta reader next time. Anyway! Suffer with me.

The following day Peter woke up alone in the bed but next to him on the bedside table lay a post it note with a scribbled message: _'I'll be back sweetcheeks! Have some free keys._ ' and indeed, a pair of keys to the apartment were by the piece of paper, they had a tiny Deadpool plushie attached that made Peter smile. It was a Sunday and he didn't have to go to work but mercenaries didn't share the same schedule and Deadpool's suit was gone along with a few guns and swords from the wall. It made something hurt, a soft pressure building up on top of himself that would eventually bring him down to the floor because dating a mercenary went against everything he had worked so hard to achieve and having the evidence so clearly set made him guilty, as if by dating Wade and ignoring what he did would encourage the man further, it felt like approval. Peter held the post-it note between his fingers and traced the ink with them as if it would give him the answer, but it didn't.

He had to use his cellphone to call May because the apartment had no phone, not even in the bathroom where Wade would probably have put one. - "May! I'm staying at Wade's apparently. He didn't really give me a choice about it. Well, it has both air conditioner and heaters so that's new for me." - Peter cleared his throat, he didn't want to bring up all of the luxuries the apartment had. And why was everything so big? As far as he was aware, not for compensation. That thought had him pressing his forehead against the cold wall and muffling curses against the palm of his hand because he could not think about Wade's dick size while talking to Aunt May, it was something that was simply not allowed.

Thankfully May stopped him with her reply. - "Oh, thank god Peter. Your neighbor was a very nice lady but still a drugs dealer."

And that was just amazing, had he been the only one that didn't notice that?

\---

Days blurred into one another and after checking the calendar twice Peter found he had spent over a month in Wade's apartment already. It slipped through his mind more than once that it wasn't Wade's anymore, it was theirs.

Peter went grocery shopping, paid for the food, trying to make himself feel less like a parasite. But it was an easy guess that his money income was at least ten times smaller than Wade's, even if Wade himself said that Peter's help was just as necessary since no matter how big the fridge was it was still empty because nobody had ever pushed Deadpool into a homey environment and regular schedules. Neither of them had thought it was possible but each day that went by proved that Wade was adjusting to the new lifestyle with an intensity that proved just how much he had been craving for it. Peter had made himself at home so much that he already knew the Wi-Fi password was ' _password_ ', and for obvious reasons it had been an easy guess.

So he wanted to step it up. Needed to know that what had happened at Weapon X had not taken that away from him. They had played home enough to get to the part where they did more than kissing but Wade danced around him as carefully as if Peter was made of glass and while it was understandable it was frustrating, Peter was ready to step on the accelerator but Wade had a foot on the brakes. So he followed the old recipe and hoped it worked, the way to somebody's pants was through their stomach.

After editing a few pictures for work he was preparing chicken crepes when Wade arrived, perfect timing. His suit had too much blood on it and his arm was hanging in a funny position and Spider-man had to bite his lip so as not to ask if the blood was his or another person's, he knew that either way he would not like the answer. Instead he flipped the food and listened to Deadpool who was excitedly talking to him about seeing a dog with multiple heads or something of the sort. -"I used to have a dog. Stole it from Daredevil, impressive, huh? Smells really good, the food, not Daredevil… well, he does not smell bad either."- And then Wade's face was right there, exhaling all over Peter and making him breathe harder. -"What is that?" - Wade pressed his chin against Peter's shoulder and his hands hovered by his waist. Wade was clearly holding himself back when it came to any physical contact that could be considered sexual in any way and Peter made his point by reaching back with one hand and helping, guiding the shy hand until it rested against his waist and trying to convey with his posture that it was OK, that not only Wade had earned it but Peter yearned for it.

"It's a crepe."- He coughed when his voice came out to raspy. - "Go shower and change your clothes, it will take some time for the chicken to cook."

For a man whose life choices were invaded by stupidity, Wade was not stupid. And as the grip on Peter's waist intensified for a few seconds to then let go, there was a silence that proved that Wade was trying to process if his abilities to read body language were as developed as his training as a mercenary had pushed them to be, or if he was projecting. It was only a matter of testing the waters. Wilson teasingly kissed Peter's neck as he left for the bathroom, he didn't tend to be this confident but the furious blush that extended from Peter’s cheeks to his ears was proof enough that his boldness paid off. As he turned on the shower and took off his suit he realized how battered he was and how much red liquid was dripping from the fabric. - ' _Nghh, he can't have approved of this. I should be more careful next time_.'

The mercenary scrubbed at his skin thoroughly, trying to get rid of any evidence of blood on his body; it still didn't take him too much time, he had no hair to wash after all. After getting into his room and choosing a comfortable pair of trousers along with a short sleeved T-shirt that featured the Avengers logo, his nose took him back to the kitchen, where the smell was so nice each breath of air felt like glory.

He set the table enthusiastically and moved the chair for Peter to sit, like a perfect gentleman.

\---

"You can't be a good cook and good looking at the same time, it's illegal." - Wade mumbled. He was laying on the couch with Peter on top of him, both lazily stretched and relaxed after eating a warm meal, their eyes closed, the dishes were in the dishwasher and the machine made a dim noise in the background low enough not to be a bother. Peter hummed, the vibration of his vocal chords traveling through the two of them like a tickling caress.

Peter felt safe and at peace, even during Weapon X he felt that way so long as he laid next to Wade. There was something about the man, either his good aim, his craziness or the fact that he could not die, maybe all of them, but it really made one think that the mercenary would go to hell and back to keep you safe once he took a liking on you. And right now he smelt like soap, his skin soft in spite of the tumors and his body temperature was ridiculously high, that and being so bulky made him a perfect cushion… so long as he shut up for five seconds straight. Spider-man lifted his head, carefully pressing his chin against Wade's sternum in order to stare at the man, he looked at peace too and it made his heart jump a bit to think that he could make such a troubled and unpredictable guy look so calm and satisfied, it was like rubbing a lion's belly.

Deadpool opened his eyes when he felt the weight of a stare on him, indeed, Peter's eyes were practically drilling a hole on his face. He looked distracted, barely noticing he was being stared at too even if his wide pupils seemed to be scrutinizing Wade as if he were a piece at the museum. Wade was surprised to find himself comfortable even with all the gawking, confident that Peter Parker wouldn't be thinking about how ugly he looked. Wade studied Peter's face as well, the faint freckles and moles that adorned his features and the cute ears that appeared under his wild hair, they had those intricate designs that ears had, much like a maze. Wade's ears were barely similar in their elegance, almost like a boxer's ears after repeated hits over the years. And his eyes, god, Wade did not want to get corny but they were so distracting.

It took some time for Peter to realize their eyes were meeting, he had shamelessly ascended to some mental plane in which he felt as if his conscience was out of his body and staring at everything from above like a third person in the room, it tended to happen when he concentrated too much… or when the exact opposite occurred. He tentatively licked his own lips, rejoicing when Wade's eyes followed the slow movement without hesitation, and the second time his tongue darted out to trace the path it had gone through seconds ago Deadpool let out a low groan and shuffled his body uncomfortably, miraculously managing not to push Peter off of him while at it. Peter smiled mischievously and the mercenary caught on his game, pulling his arms around the boy. - "Tease."

Wade’s hands hovered over Peter’s back, but once again he feared to make a move. It was one thing to want something platonic or even romantic with him, and something entirely different to seek something sexual. He knew how he looked and how hard it was to feel attracted to his appearance, he feared taking too many liberties and pushing Peter away. He imagined Peter recoiling in disgust, just like he had seen so many other people do, and he couldn’t do it.

“Petey?” – It was barely a whisper.

“Yeah?” – Peter blinked slowly, like a cat.

“Is this ok?” – There was no need to be specific. The answer would either be a yes or a no either way. Was it ok to touch Peter after everything he had gone through? Was it ok for Wade to feel desired despite how low he thought of himself?

A few seconds of stillness went by as they kept on staring at each other like fools and then they were kissing, their actions harsh and hurried as if everything had been in slow motion up until now and they had to compensate for the waste of time. Peter's teeth grazed lips and his tongue made his way towards the inside of Wade's mouth, playfully tracing each wet surface, the pattern of teeth and tickling the bony structure at the top of the mouth.

Wade was _very_ vocal about what he liked. He let out the most ridiculous sounds, loud enough for Spider-man to listen clearly, his body responding to each noise. When Deadpool's hands, which had been hovering over Peter’s butt, pressed to bring their hard ons together, they both shut their eyes until they could see white sparkles under their lids, pleased with the intense contact.

"Fffuck. Wade." - Peter let out, his voice raspy with need as he moved his hips repeatedly, grinding himself against the side of Wade’s cock, receiving a faint and hurried: "I know." - As a reply, just as gruff. If there was any way to test the stability the couch had it was this one, with them shaking and pushing against each other desperately on top of it. Wade moved the fabric of Peter's trousers and underwear out of the way, thankful that he was wearing some loose pants with a worn elastic by the waist and not some skinny jeans as his fingers traced the soft skin underneath them, receiving a sigh as a reward for massaging the sensitive area of his backside.

Spider-man started tugging at their clothes as if they offended him, trying to get them out of the way without separating himself an inch from the man underneath him; the hopelessness he showed at the fact he couldn't magic them away made Wade snigger and then still for a second, taking his clothes off would be like pulling a band aid. Either he kept them or he took them all off and hoped for the best because the view of his entire skin on display was a lot to take in. - "Come on, lift yourself off, I need to get us naked. Right now."

Parker got up, complaining all the way as he took off his clothes in a hurry and helping Wade out with his pants when he saw he was nowhere as quick as Peter needed him to be.

"Chill, baby boy, I ain't planning on going nowhere."- Wade encircled his fingers around Peter’s scarred wrist and pulled down until he had a lap full of naked Spider-man, then he let go to place his hand on the soft back of Peter's neck, pushing their faces together and moving his thumb in circles at the same time, feeling the tiny hairs close to his digits standing as he kissed Peter at a slower pace, almost lazily.

Parker hummed, shivering at the cold air touching his back and instantly feeling the warm hand on his neck descending in order to rub it. It seemed to work, since each place Wade’s palm touched lit up in heat.

Wade got his lip bitten, hard _.  -'Should've guessed it. No surprise there, spiders bite._ ' - The voices in his head hummed in approval and then continued to suggest where Wade should put his hands and tongue next. He took the advice and placed both his hands by Peter's waist, using them to hold him in position to grind harder against him. It felt absurd, as if no strength would create enough pressure to feel satisfied, until of course Peter remembered he was Spider-man and he had more than the average amount of strength.

If the couch had had a lawyer and a brain, it would have sued them for abuse, its structure creaking and complaining at the harsh treatment. Parker was hoping the neighbors were out and at the same time thankful that this wasn't like his old apartment, some kid certainly would've been spying on them through the keyhole by now if it had been.

"Mhhh, do that again."

A murmur by his ear made him stop overthinking, when he lifted his gaze to look at Wade his knees gave out a little, crumbling over the other man for a second.

Fuck, Wade did make quite a nice view.

His neck was stretched like an offering and his lips were dry from keeping his mouth open to breathe harder, expression twisted in pleasure. Peter could not resist and sucked the sweaty skin on the side of Wade’s neck, leaving a wet trail and barely-there soft pink speckles that camouflaged in the unevenly colored complexion that his partner bared. He wanted to say how good he looked but Wade wouldn’t believe him, so all of Peter’s effort went to showing it instead.

Wade whined, feeling desperate for more attention. They had become slippery enough, apparently, for Spider-man to lose his balance until Wade's dick was sliding through his crack, their bodies melting at the overcoming feeling.

' _Credit card not read properly, please swipe again_!'

The message resonated through Wade's head, and he absentmindedly repeated the short version of it: "Please, again!"

' _Ha! Never heard you being so polite. Seems like you only needed to put your dick in the right place_.'

Hell, there was simply no time in which the voices shut the fuck up. It didn't matter though, because Peter had his back arched and as he held his body up shakily with a single hand, he encircled the other one around his own dick and lowered his body against Wade again and again, just as requested. 

They didn't last much longer. Spider-man noticed the way his balls rubbed perfectly against the underside of Wade's dick if he slid just a bit further and after pushing his hips forward a few times more in an irregular tempo he leaned downward in pleasure, closing his eyes hard and having to use both his hands to hold his upper body from crushing on top of the mercenary under him. Deadpool didn't complain, rejoicing in the safe cage that Peter's arms created at each side of his head and then letting his head fall back when Peter pressed his ass fully against Wade's dick, letting him feel the way his muscles twitched and ached from pleasure. Parker hummed and smirked when after a few more skin on skin strokes that were mischievously slow but mercifully hard he felt the Wade come undone beneath him.

"Not just a good cook and good looking, then." - Wade mumbled, out of breath and almost offended by the amount of good traits he was finding on his… lover? Was this official now? Or was it official since before when they had started kissing? He turned his head to the side and found one of Peter's hands still caging him, he was kissing the wrist in front of him before even thinking, it was a sweet and tender kiss over the ugly scar Weapon X had left on the boy and it had Parker gripping at the couch tightly.

"Don't worry I still have plenty of flaws." - Spider-man lowered his body until his face was resting on Wade's chest and absentmindedly run his fingers along the man's damaged skin, memorizing each red and yellowish mark on it as if they didn't rearrange in a different pattern every day. Wade’s belly was a mess thanks to Peter, sticky and wet, but he found it in himself that he couldn’t care less. - "I can't get cats to be nice to me, I'm bad at poker, I dropped my phone three times this week."

"Truly, a disgrace." - Wade hummed, rolling his eyes as he extended his hand to run his fingers through Peter's hair softly, untangling the strands that were sticky with sweat. He smiled when Parker pouted, offended because apparently those were valid flaws for him. Surely, he was excluding his self-hate, guilt, anxiety and fears, but Peter truly didn't feel like spoiling the mood by mentioning them.

They spent the whole afternoon laying lazily on the sofa, watching TV and eventually playing videogames, Co-op instead of 1 vs. 1 for the sake of their relationship. There was a surreal air to the place, as if they had been waiting for something to change but found themselves relieved to see everything exactly where they had left it.

"We're training for when we team up!" - Deadpool said to excuse their unproductive day so far.

"Wade, you just run over that lady three times already with the car. For the sake of humanity this can't be used as reference when on patrol."

Wilson didn't mind the negativity, instead getting cheerful because Peter had not denied the possibility of working together in the field sometime, even if he was certain he wouldn’t be allowed to kill. - "Most certainly it can't be used as reference! I bet that lady would've been dead the first time I run over her if we were being realistic."

Normally, Peter would've made a fuss at the comment, but after so much time shared with Wade the dark sense of humor had become funny, even if he wouldn't allow it to be something other than a joke, he found himself laughing. The mercenary was so stunned by the fact that comment had made Spider-man laugh that he forgot to look at the screen for a few seconds, getting his character killed.

 _'Oh boy, let us hope the terrible sense of humor is the only bad habit we get him into_.'


	9. Chapter 9

Peter went back to being Spider-man, careful to pick up the tempo little by little until achieving his past pace. It eventually became easy, his body remembering how to fight and swing for him. It felt saturating at times, being both a photographer and a hero, but during his free time he was May's nephew and Wade's boyfriend and everything felt fine, as if his life had somehow pulled itself together after all.

The first time May visited Wade's apartment it was a night in which they had invited her for dinner, she spent a while assuring the boys that 'pizza will be fine.' when they started questioning her about gourmet food, they had her grumbling about younger generations believing they'd invented junk food. It turned out that for an old lady she was pretty fast with her head and it didn’t escape her how the pair had bonded even further since she'd last seen them. She'd known as soon as Peter had returned to her safely after being captured that the relationship these two had wasn't that of an average friendship, she'd stated it before that they anchored each other and even with her outdated upbringing she couldn't find it within herself to judge their current relationship as wrong. There couldn’t be something wrong when Peter was smiling so affectionately.

"So, Wade. Is Peter staying here indefinitely?" - She wondered as she bit a slice of pizza. It was homemade, the dough crispy and uneven.

Wade nodded enthusiastically, extending his hand as if to grab Peter's but stopping halfway - "Of course! He's allowed to stay here for as long as he needs."

May smiled fondly. - "And will _you_ be staying with him indefinitely as well?"

There was a long pause after that question, it carried a lot of weight considering Wade and Peter had never sat to talk about where their relationship was heading and now May was pushing them to settle it, and she knew exactly what she was doing, her big innocent eyes sparkled with a glint of determination.

Eventually, the mercenary completely extended his hand, finally grabbing Peter's but not meeting his eyes. - "I'd love to." - And it was true, Wade really would want to, but he knew he was mentally unstable, he killed people for a living, he talked to himself and for fucks sake he sure wasn’t pretty. He was a damn tough cookie to swallow. - _'Oh, I'm pretty sure Peter wouldn't mind swallowing_!' ' _This ain't the time, shut up_.'

Parker squeezed Deadpool's hand to get his attention, and when both Wade and May had their eyes set on Peter, he nodded. - "I'd love for you to stay with me as well." 

' _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry_.' - Wade swallowed hard, almost vibrating in his seat and feeling his chest swelling with glee, particularly after noticing the way May beamed at the sight of their linked hands just as though she had been wishing for this to happen, as if her nephew had started dating young Bon Jovi. What a weird old lady, she'd have definitely got along with blind Al.

 

\---

 

The first time the effects of Weapon X showed while in the Spider-man suit it was during a battle against Rhino, about three months after moving in with Wade.

It was a pretty average battle with the typical bantering that went along Spider-man and his enemies, particularly Rhino who loved talking about the mayhem he was going to cause. -  "I'm going to destroy this city and nobody will be able to stop me, buddy."

Something about that phrase made Peter uneasy, made him feel as if his stomach was knotting and tangling in on itself, his body involuntarily froze and the action confused both Rhino and himself; eventually he was back to normal, throwing spider webs at the ridiculous horn on Rhino's head. And it was fine, really, his urge to vomit had left, but then Rhino opened his mouth again and in the middle of his speech he blurted out. - "I thought there was more to you than that, buddy." - And Spider-man backed away as if he had been slapped.

Rhino wasn't the smartest man alive, most certainly he was at the very bottom on that list, but he was still able to gather which was the magic word that made the superhero whimper like it physically hurt him to hear it. - "What's wrong?… buddy."

And there it was, Spider-man hunched his back and closed his hands so hard the fabric of the suit stretched at the knuckles. - "Nothing's wrong." - He tried, but his voice was raspy and desperate as if he had been shouting for hours before speaking. Truth is, all he could think of was yellow teeth and dark eyes, somebody gripping at him and taking him away from Wade and onto the cold surface of a metal table, being anesthetized and yet feeling each time his skin was ripped like the putrid surface on a fruit being peeled.

Rhino smiled wickedly, getting closer and rounding Spider-man like a ringmaster walking around a caged animal, rejoicing in the image that went before his eyes and hearing the slow - "Shut up." - getting louder and louder.

Each time Rhino spoke the more his voice sounded like one Peter heard in his nightmares.

The citizens gawked at the situation from a not so safe distance, worried and disbelieving but none of them doing anything to help, not even the policemen. The few arriving reporters zoomed in on the wrecked hero, making speculations about what the hell was happening, each opinion further off the truth and more unwanted than the last one. Somewhere along the way Rhino’s big brute hands encircled around Peter's neck but he could barely feel them, caging himself in memories of the despicable doctor that had kept track of both him and Wade during Weapon X and god, the guy was still alive somewhere and one limb less wouldn’t stop him. For once in a long time Peter found himself truly wishing somebody was dead, hoping that Wolverine would've gone further, that Deadpool had put a bullet through his head when he had the chance. The man could escape anytime, he could be watching him right then.

Finally the people reacted, throwing whatever object they had close at Rhino and shouting for another of the many heroes of New York to help one of theirs. The first to arrive was Bruce Banner, who… obviously, had hulked out, destroying his way from in front The Avengers' tower television, that was playing a footage of what was going on, to the very place where the scene was taking place, in the middle of New York; the rest of The Avengers followed him closely after, though it was uncertain if they were here to help Spider-man or contain the Hulk. Probably both.

Iron man yelled during the whole chase through the communication link, he flew at twenty percent speed capacity and close to the rest of the team, knowing well that he couldn’t contain the hulk on his own without a plan. -  "Who was the bright mind that let the guy that hulks out watch the news channel?!"

"It was E!news, I was expecting the Kardashians not Spider-man!" - Hawkeye barked back.

Luke Cage was the first one to get next to Peter, shaking him softly after snatching the boy from Rhino's grip, but Spider-man's body was rigid and he was muttering nonsense, completely away from reality. - "Kid's out of it!" - Luke shouted in between the noise of Iron man blasting at Rhino. Hawkeye was trying to aim a particularly high dose of tranquilizer at the Hulk, begging for it to work and readying his legs to run faster than ever if it did not. Just to add a cherry on top of the cake, a few sounds of gunshots had the citizens panicking and breaking apart, making way for a very angry Deadpool.

"Oh, fuck all this! Fine, I’ll take Deadpool, who takes Rhino?" - Stark's repulsor aimed at the mercenary, who immediately raised one hand to signal him to stop yet didn't put the gun away.

"Here to help. Spider-man?" - The world must have been falling apart if Wade Wilson shortened his bantering to sharp commands. Tony didn't reply, though he did drop his hand. It was Luke Cage that shouted for Wilson to get closer, an arm already holding Spider-man up but the kid wouldn't move and he was ridiculously heavy, his feet sticking to the floor as if he were clinging to a building.

Wade run towards Peter, only then putting his weapon in the holster in order to carefully cover Peter's chin and cheeks with his hands, lifting his head higher to look in his eyes. - "Look at me, we're no longer there, we're out. We're safe."

Luke left Spider-man in the mercenary's hands, sensing what was happening, having seen it before so many times in his career as a hero. The crazy man seemed to be making a pretty decent work too, since the erratic breathing was stopping. Cage had heard about the Weapon X incident but he hadn't thought it had damaged the young hero that much, it was painful to watch.

It took five minutes to stop Rhino, one hour to contain the Hulk, who indeed avoided the sleeping dart and chased Clint through half of New York; and it took two hours to calm Peter down.

 

When Parker opened his eyes he was at the Avengers tower and all his muscles felt sore, his head hurt and his eyes were swollen, he had a brief memory of having Wade all around him, keeping him safe. -"Wade?" - His voice was hoarse and he swallowed a few times, trying to fix it, but the mercenary was nowhere in sight and the bed he was resting on felt less comfortable each second that went by, it felt like cold gray concrete. - "Wade?!"

A few hurried steps resonated through the hallway at the other side of the room, and then the door was rushed open. - "I'm here, baby boy!" -  In seconds, Deadpool was attached to Peter like an octopus, holding the boy's head against his chest and when Parker's body relaxed against him, Wade started talking nonstop. - "The Rhino guy is already in jail and at first they didn't want to bring me here with you but they seemed to reconsider when I _coincidentally_ took a grenade from my belt while they were debating and let me tell you, they have this coffee machine that has wheels and rolls around, I mean it even knows how to use the elevator, I touched it and it … stopped moving, but I didn't do anything! I mean I thought it was a toaster at first and may have tried to shove bread inside it but it doesn't look like a coffee machine so tell Tony Stark that."

Peter wasn't quite sure if Wade was there to soothe him or to do a verbal catharsis but he appeared to be multitasking, doing both quite nicely. The suit on the gunman smelt like blood and sweat and Peter doubted it had been washed, but the last one had been destroyed and replaced not that long ago so it could've been worse, at least it was new. When he pressed his head harder against Wade's shoulder and felt Deadpool shut up all of a sudden he realized he had started sobbing.

It was embarrassing and he wasn't doing it on purpose, the tears simply falling down nonstop making his mask uncomfortably humid, and he was feeling better so he shouldn't have been crying but he felt his body getting hugged tighter and a hand drawing circles on his back as if he were a child that had just woken up from a nightmare and he found that description fitted the way he felt accurately. - "I'm sorry, I don't know what's happening. I'm so sorry!" - He blurted out in between harsh intakes on breath.

"Hey, it happens. It has happened to all of us." - Wade's voice was hushed but right by his ear, the puffs of breath warming the Spider-man mask and Peter wanted to rip it off and throw it away but instead the mercenary lifted it up slowly until his nostrils were free and kissed his wet cheek softly. It was easy to understand why children liked Wade so much in that moment, he dealt with instability on a daily basis, kids were the definition of a mess and Wade could relate. Suddenly he couldn't remember why grownups hated Deadpool so much, why Peter himself had not been able to stand him before.

When the sobbing stopped the door unlocked and opened, Deadpool had started parting from Peter but the boy placed an arm around him to keep him in place, not ready to let go yet. There was no avenger on the other side, as a pair of tiny wheels appeared and the automatic coffee machine entered the room, carrying two hot chocolates and a sticky note pasted on it that read:

"I find hot cocoa to be very useful in these moments.

We still need to talk.

\- Tony.

Wade keep your hands off my robots."

Peter started laughing, receiving a confused glare from the mercenary. - "It's true, it does look like a toaster."

 

\---

They had fallen asleep after the hot chocolate, and it made sense, first you cry, then you drink chocolate and fall asleep on people who cherish you. Well, some people replaced the hot chocolate with alcohol but the ritual remained. When Peter woke up Wade was nowhere to be seen but he didn't panic this time, he felt much better than before. There was a change of clothes on top of the bed that had been retrieved from their apartment, it had a note on top of it in which Deadpool had written over Tony's words and even scribbled an angry Iron Man figure next to the "We still need to talk."

Wade had added his own message:  "If I stay too long I won't be welcomed anymore. That's not why I left tho, fuck that. Call if you need anything, honey!"

' _A job, then_.' - Peter sighed and stretched, his bones popping.

Thankfully, the place was luxurious enough to have a bathroom in each room, they were filled with salts and bubble baths to the point it felt ridiculous. As Parker took a quick shower, he contemplated that even if his boyfriend kept on disappearing and showing up with his suit covered in blood… there weren't many news about murders, at least not something involving explosives, katanas _and_ bullets, which was a particular signature of Wade handling a job. What was Wade up to? Did he even want to know? Peter grabbed the soap and rubbed it against his face, feeling the salt on his cheeks from the tears scrubbing away, and though it didn't make him forget about his worries it helped him soothe them a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure about the whole panic attack cascading from the use of a word and it was darn hard to find a way to write it that I found relatable since I've never suffered from a panic attack, only anxiety ones. I had to dig up a little information and I have faith it turned out somehow passable.  
> Thank you so much for the love!!! (: sometimes I have a horrible day and the support you show for something I created weighs tons on how I feel at the end of the day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for homophobic language in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter is one damn cliché after another.

Another bullet found its way to a dead guy's head… or woman, Wade wasn't quite sure how to distinguish them yet but they all looked so ugly that for once he was the beauty queen of the lot. Turns out Hela not only accepted Loki's message but politely requested the gunman's assistance against " _lost souls of the warriors that have escaped the Valkyries' hands_.", or whatever the fuck that meant. Deadpool had simply asked whether these guys were goodies or baddies.

"How do you measure such thing?”- Hela had replied. - “They are simply… lost. And dead."- The last part was what made it, if there was something he was good at it was killing zombies and he had been featured in a few comics to back that up, he was also pretty sure Spider-man wouldn't disapprove of this which was a plus.

He was provided with some special sort of bullets that were created in the mines of Svartalfheim, Deadpool had made Hela write that down because they were sick and he wanted a thousand, they exploded like fireworks and gained velocity whilst they reached the target as if the objective had their own gravity source. He was in between troops of Valkyries and whomever said blondes were stupid had not met these guys, their fight strategies, organization and brutality had Wade drooling all over the place, he had somehow ended up braiding the hair on one and he was never washing his hand… well, he didn't wash it pretty often either way but it tended to be the first thing that got cut off in battle so it was pretty much always brand new.

Wade had been slaying corpses for weeks now and was starting to consider asking for a permanent job, certain there would be a lot of handling dead people involved in this line of work and the benefit was it would still be killing people for money… only they'd be dead already, so half of his job was already done before he even started. It also involved less sneaking and more explosions. Maybe he should speak to Peter about this first, though 'Honey, sure this blood is from another guy but I didn't kill him! I only cut his head, but they were already dead so it doesn't count!' didn’t sound convincing. – _'Mhhh… we should fix some minor details about that_.' - "It might work if we give him the killer puppy eyes."- _'You know, there's a reason that is a killer look and it does not involve cuteness overload but people not standing the picture we make and wanting to die after seeing it_.’

A dead guy tilted his head at him… or maybe it was a woman, or neither? He still could not tell, but apparently people six feet under continued to judge you when you spoke to yourself out loud. He gripped his katana harder and attacked, his suit making a disgusting wet noise at each movement, squishing with fresh blood that had tainted the fabric; he would have to get a change of clothes and shower before going near Spider boy, he'd ask the Valkyries later how the hell they managed to remain spotless after each battle.

\---

 

By the time Wade arrived at his apartment he was full of energy from the fight. He had changed his suit for a new one and showered at a motel… one that didn't ask questions.

Peter was lying on the couch thinking up excuses he could use with Jameson when asked about his recent absence and had not yet decided between 'I got myself locked up in my own apartment and had to wait for the locksmith' and 'a woman capable of turning into a dragon delayed the departure of the subway', they were both equally possible in New York. That's when Wilson opened the door like a fireman and closed it like an angry teenager, vibrating where he stood, his stamina evidently to the roof reminded Peter a bit of himself a few years back during finals week after his fifth cup of coffee.

"Baby boy! You're already home!"  - Wade was carrying a black duffel bag that probably contained money, _hopefully_ contained money because with him having just come back from a job it could either be money or a corpse… well, maybe it was a month's worth of tacos, but then again, when Peter looked at Wade’s other hand it was holding a lunch box and as insane as Wade was he would still put the tacos in a lunch box instead of a duffel bag if given the choice, or maybe he was carrying a month and two days’ worth of tacos and everything contained tacos, allow Peter to dream.

He let go of the matter for now, lifting himself until he was in a sitting position, scratching the scar on his wrist mindlessly as he spoke. - "Listen, Wade… um… I want to go on a date." - Peter had given it a fair share of thought during the last few hours: he started living with Deadpool and then they had kissed and jerked off and it felt as if they were doing things in some scrambled order but they had spent months cuddling and after the latest events, along with that time in Weapon X, he had figured he wanted Wade as much as he needed him. And he did both desperately. But the mercenary had gone silent, his mask hiding his expression though evidently something was making him think hard enough to remain still. He spoke after a minute in which Peter waited patiently while feeling his stomach churning, trying to tell if he had pushed too hard on his boundaries.

"With whom?"

Oh boy, oh boy it would have been cute if Peter had not wanted to strangle the man. - "Seriously?!" - He stood up and trotted towards where Deadpool was, gripping him by the tanned straps that crossed the mercenary's chest, holding the katanas in place. He shook him a few times, as if trying to bring the man to his senses. - "With you! You dumbass!"

A goofy smile spread on Wade's face, so large it wrinkled the mask until it sunk where his lips where, it said something about the antihero, the fact he still expected Peter to leave him after all they'd been through and how wonderfully they got along. -"I'll go put something on… Not like I am naked, I mean put something on other than this, or maybe I should go naked? How do dates work nowadays? It's been a while. The voices are saying that I should go naked but I'm pretty sure they are pranking me." - Wilson was back to full chatter as he walked away towards their room, he had started unzipping his unitard before closing the door behind him. Well, Peter had not planned the date to be today but when he heard Wade whistling gleefully while selecting what clothes to wear Parker decided he had not wanted to cook in the first place anyway.

It took three tries, the first time Wade was wearing a suit when he walked into the seating room, he looked hot. Really hot. The suit was black and the shirt was dark red, matching his Deadpool costume, yet he was wearing a white tie that was surprisingly plain, no ridiculous pattern on it; Peter was both taken aback because the mercenary could have a good sense of fashion if he tried and kind of turned on by the outfit. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he tried to explain that they weren't going anywhere fancy and a tad less formal would be fine. - "I want to invite you… and maybe someday I will be able to take you to a cool restaurant but for now I still have the salary of a newspaper photographer."

Wade had nodded and lifted his hand, loosening his tie with his index finger nonchalantly, as if the movement did nothing to Peter, the boy wanted to rip off that tie with his teeth so hard he was surprised at his own greediness. He appreciated that there had been no comment about Wade paying instead, probably with the content inside the duffel bag he had brought earlier. It was still good to know in advance that if he took the mercenary to a restaurant someday and the man wore a suit, Spider-man would have to wear his protective cup to hide his hard on.

The second time Wade opened the door Parker had gripped the cushions on the sofa with so much strength he had almost teared them to pieces, the man was smiling, his clear eyes sparkling mischievously as he lifted the skirt on his dress enough to reveal the scarred skin of his thigh. it was the kind of dress you'd see at a high class stripper club (not that Peter knew from walking into one), the piece of clothing extremely decorated with an absurd amount of glitter and feathers, as if trying to compensate for the lack of fabric.

"That's too short." - The boy mumbled, irritated at the thought of Wade going outside wearing that outfit, as if anybody else besides from him could see past the scars and consistent word vomit in order to find Deadpool hot.  Wade smiled even more, all teeth, it was obvious he was just making a private parade out of the situation to annoy Peter.

Wade closed the door once more behind himself, then appeared in front of Peter with a pair of dark blue jeans and a black hoodie that was a tad more elegant than the ones he tended to use, the fabric was visibly a higher quality and it was decorated with a pair of round and shiny white buttons, it was the perfect outfit for the kind of dinner Peter had in mind, but it still didn't help him erase the image of Wade in the dress, it'd probably stick for a while.

 

They walked side by side silently, Peter waving at the neighbors that they encountered along; they were good people and while they were evidently intimidated by his companion they still respected Wade enough to give him a polite nod even if they started walking faster afterwards. It took Deadpool by surprise when his hand was grabbed tenderly, and he worried about both his sweaty and sticky palms and the way people might treat his boyfriend differently when seeing him with a guy that looked as if he slept on a hot grill for hours, but Peter smiled at him, determined to show everybody who his date was.

They found a dinner place after walking no more than five blocks, it was a retro restaurant that owned a jukebox and had neon lights, the upholstery on the chairs making the place look better than other retro restaurants and certainly more comfortable. The pair settled themselves at the very back, feeling more relaxed in a secluded corner.

"You think the staff wears wigs and roller-skates??" - Deadpool looked like a child in a holiday, the corner of his eyes wrinkling with happiness.

"I really hope they don't."

Wade pouted at the answer. - "Whatdoyamean? I'd almost give up my job in order to work in a place that has a uniform that includes cute dresses and roller-skates."

Oh! It seemed as if finally Peter's mind was free of his last mental image of Wade in a dress, just to be replaced by a new one, it made him babble without thinking. - "You are a freelancer, you can change your uniform into a tutu if you please, I'm pretty sure you'd still manage to look threatening so long as you keep the weaponry."

Wilson pointed his index finger at Peter, shaking it slightly in emphasis. - "That's actually an excellent idea!"

That was a terrible idea, the ones that Spider-man tended to have when his brain was taking a vacation away from his body, the ideas the mercenary was a hundred percent behind.

"You think if I make it a traditional pink tutu it'd match the rest of my suit?" - ' _You could also switch the whole suit to pink_.' - ' _Nah, it'd stain more_.'

Deadpool's internal dialogue and Peter's external groaning was interrupted by the sound of the waitress clearing her throat to get their attention, she wasn't wearing a wig nor roller-skates but she was still wearing a pretty colorful dress that was very old fashioned, she didn't look at their faces as she handed out the menu and she also chewed her gum very loudly but neither of them minded.

They ended up with a burger and a milkshake, because "that's the classic order at the retro dinner, baby boy!" it came with french fries and as soon as Peter took one and dipped it in the milkshake Wade started making exaggerated gagging noises.

"Come on, you've eaten worst, I know. I've seen it." - As soon as the words came out he was flooded with the memories of their time locked up, when he had said the exact same phrase. Deadpool noticed but continued as if nothing had happened.

"Worse than french fries with milkshake?"

"It all mixes up in your stomach either way!" - Peter was quoting aunt May, she tended to say that to him right after Peter moved in with her and uncle Ben, in those days she was lacking culinary practice but was still very skilled at talking like his mother.

"Yeah but long after going through my taste buds, no thank you."

 

The peace lasted until they finished their meals and where about to order dessert, they had started playing footsie under the table like teenagers until Wade went particularly close to the crotch area and Peter's leg instinctively kicked so harshly that it would probably leave a bruise on Deadpool for about half a minute around the ankle area, regenerative powers considered and all. After that they had been pretty much attempted to step on each other's feet like children.

Wade plucked his tongue out in concentration. -"Stop cheating!"

Parker laughed, each time his spider sense tingled slightly he moved his feet away skillfully. - "It's not cheating." - That's when the boy lifted his head and caught sight of a group of boys a few tables away, they were pointing at Wade and laughing.

Wade stepped on him instantly. - "Ha! I won!… Petey?" - Wilson turned his head to follow his boyfriend's furious gaze, it didn't take long for him to understand they were making fun of his scarred flesh, comparing him with an old man's genitals by what little he heard. - "Let it go, Petey. It happens."

The statement pissed off Peter even more. - "Well, it shouldn't happen." - His brow furrowed further and his hand clenched on the table, he still had enough control not to dent the surface.

Wade was going to say that they were probably just kids, but considering some of them were having beers, that wasn't completely true for the whole lot. He simply put his hoodie on and showed his back to them, not wanting to leave the place nor start a fight for fear of ruining the date that had been going wonderful so far.

They ordered a big slice of cake to share and let go of the matter. Peter was still mad, mostly, until Wade started eating and got his face covered in frosting.

 "You got a little… ah…" - He pointed at the general direction where the cream was but Deadpool continued to miss the spot. - "Come on! It's right… there!" - He chuckled. - "It takes up like half of your cheek, how come you are missing it? Can I…?" - The boy lifted himself from his seat and stretched towards Wade, gripping both sides of the man's face and kissing the frosting away. By the time he sat back down his lips tasted sweet and the mercenary was smiling foolishly.

' _Drop some frosting on our dick_!'- Wade wasn't even paying attention to what was going on in his head, instead he focused on the hot feeling that tingled on his cheek where the wet kisses had been placed. He couldn't recall somebody kissing him in public, never mind doing it so sweetly, and hell sometimes he wanted to fuck Peter as if there was no tomorrow but right now he felt like kissing him thoroughly and telling him how much he loved him. - ' _Ohhhh, it's the L word! We are fucked_.'

Peter continued eating the cake as if the person in front of him had not melted in his seat, unable to think for a while. He did notice the red tint on Wade's cheeks and felt a strong urge to carry on with the kisses but it felt like too much PDA for a grown men’s first date.

There was only one bite of cake left, they had been so close to leaving when an empty plastic cup found its way towards their table, flying in a perfectly aimed trajectory just before hitting Deadpool. A loud round of laughs started and the waitress simply looked at her nails as if nothing had happened, when Wade instinctively sank lower into his sit and pushed the hoodie closer to his face Peter stood up, he couldn’t help himself. Apparently the restaurant not only had furniture similar to that in ‘back to the future’, it also had the bullies.

"That's it." - While he had not been shouting, his voice echoed inside the restaurant with a strength and darkness that worried Deadpool, Spider-man would not have been able to speak in such an intimidating manner, not before Weapon X. He knew that sort of experience changed a person but he had hoped it had not broken Peter as much as it had broken himself. There were few people other than them and the douchebags in the restaurant, they gawked at the unraveling situation in front of them with anticipation, absorbing the drama as if it were a show instead of an event happening in real life.

Peter gripped at the empty cup that had been thrown at Wade, he got closer to the table where the group of clowns were still laughing. They weren’t as young as their attitude implied, it was visible from a short distance. Good. - "Um, excuse me, I think you dropped this." - Peter allowed a smile to take over his expression, it wasn't so much intimidating as it was determined and unpleasant to the one it was directed to, as if it held a promise that something was going to hurt later.

"Get off my face, moron, get a new girlfriend while you're at it, one that doesn't look like-" - Before anything else could be said, Peter was crushing the empty cup on the guy's face, turning his palm while applying pressure until the plastic was so compressed it couldn't possibly hold liquid anymore. The rest of the people at the table had not been expecting that reaction and were gaping at him, dumbfounded. The cup fell from the guy's face after a few seconds, making a funny noise, it left a perfect red shaped circle on the skin, one that Peter could see from much closer when the man got up and took a step to the side until he was front of him, crowding Parker's sight. Ruining the scenery.

The dinner place had gone silent and the waitress finally paid attention to the situation, perhaps worried about the place getting damaged during her shift. Peter felt his shirt getting tugged from behind and turned his head briefly to see Wade behind him. Deadpool was actually there to get his boyfriend off the fight, worried about what aunt May would think if she found out and that maybe Peter was still a bit sensitive due to his quite recent panic attack and might need to rethink his actions.

"Oh! Look! Your boyfriend is here to protect you! Faggots."

Wade actually laughed at the statement, which startled everyone including Peter, it was a genuine laugh, nothing dark about it. - "Protect him? I was here to drag him away from you before you got the beating of your life!"

Peter's spider senses warned him of the punch before it was thrown, and what made him stop for a while was the fact it had been aimed at Wade. Oh just great, if his senses where going to start alarming him each time his boyfriend was in danger from now on he should get ready to live with a constant headache.

Deadpool's hoodie dropped off his head as he dodged the blow and the few guys at the table that had stood up to help their friend fight almost sat back down when they saw Wade's face from up close, his angry expression accentuated by each wrinkle in the scarred tissue. Deadpool simply gripped the guy that had thrown the hit by his t-shirt and walked towards the door, taking their aggressor outside like a dog on a leash. - "I really, really wanted to avoid a fight but ya know, I also really _really_ wanted to punch you. You think I shrank in my seat because I _feared_ _you_? Think again." - Wilson dropped the guy on the pavement and smiled widely when he heard hitched breaths as an answer. - _'Oh boooooy, he's about to piss himself_.'

Inside the dinner place, Peter dropped a few bills on the table they had used and put on his jacket quickly before getting out, the rest of the buffoons following after him as if they stood a chance. He knew this didn't fit his usual schedule, Spider-man didn't punch people just for being rude, if so his job would be endless, but maybe… maybe as Peter he could, just for a day, at least after having someone he cared about insulted and humiliated on their date. He checked if there were any bystanders around, but it was late and dark in a cold night pretty far away from downtown so the site was empty and silent, he could hear the steps of the bullies behind him and see his breath form in front of him in the chilly air. He locked eyes with Wade and nodded, the mercenary angled his head curiously at him, it was a question and after all those days they shared together he read it as if it had been said out loud. - ' _Won't you regret this?_ ' - Peter thought for a while before answering, everybody else waiting for them as if they weren't about to engage in a fight.

"Just this once. And nothing fatal!" - The phrase reminded the mercenary of their exchanges as Spider-man and Deadpool, it made him smirk that twisted smile he let out during his job, which without his mask made everyone fucking scared but Peter. One of the men behind them finally spoke, the only one stupid enough to do so.

"Are you gonna suck his dick now, you bitch? Or what are you waiting for?"

' _Well, I think, for the sake of the story and the readers we should put names to these douchebags. The guy that threw the plastic cup shall be called Alejandro, the rest are Roberto, Fernando and… well, Roberto dos, because those are the only three names mentioned in that Lady Gaga song and we wouldn't want to destroy such a precious trinity_.'

Alejandro took Wade's distraction as an opportunity to tackle the mercenary but while he did manage to make him loose balance, Alejandro didn't take into consideration the other man could fall on top of him, and Wade weighed… a lot. As he lost his breath when an elbow hit his chest he heard the scarred man whining. - "Please reply! I would also like to know whether you will suck my dick now, baby boy! Asking for a friend!"

Peter dodged the hits before they came, leaving everyone confused as to how he did so and why such a blunt looking guy was skilled in street fighting, even managing to scold Wade while at it. He held back, of course, he wouldn't want his identity to be compromised not hurt anybody more than necessary. It was still three against one on his side, and there were only so many fists Spider-man could avoid without pirouettes, so he couldn't dodge a hit to his cheek; he was about to punch back, with just as much strength, when Alejandro was thrown in the direction of his attacker. Peter turned in time to see Wade shrug, as if to say he couldn't help it.

With only Roberto and Roberto dos left it became a one on one, and everything was fine until Roberto dos got fed up and pulled a gun out of his pocket. Peter pulled his hands up in surrender, he wasn't wearing his web shooters and at such a short distance he couldn’t jump out of the way of a bullet, the rest of the bullies clearly hadn’t been expecting that either. -"Woah! Come on, man. We didn't sign up for this, it's just a fight, don't make it bigger than it is."

Wade on the other hand, Wade was pissed. – ‘ _The guy’s probably mad because he ain't even Roberto uno_.' - The mercenary saw the hand shaking as it held the weapon and recognized it as a gesture in a man that was inexperienced with guns, which was good because it meant he most likely wouldn't shoot and bad because it meant he could accidentally pull the trigger under pressure. - "Listen, Roberto. You don't want to do this. Just, leave the gun on the floor, don't worry about anybody else grabbing it because that's a very crappy gun you got anyway, terrible direction, doesn't work at long ranges."

Peter closed his eyes asking for a deity to lend him some patience because if he did get shot the last thing he'd hear would be Deadpool nervously babbling about gun attributes. The problem was when Fernando shifted, attempting to grab the gun from his friend, because of course Roberto dos got scared at the sudden movement and pulled the trigger.

The loud noise left everyone's ears drumming and Peter was surprised when he noticed that's all he felt, no piercing pain or anything, he opened his eyes and saw Wade on the floor in front of him, bleeding from the chest. - "Oh my god!" - He got scared each time the mercenary was killed, no matter how certain he was the regenerative powers were working fine; he kneeled next to the body to wait, gripping his hand, an image of Wade's battered body in a cell flashed in front of him and he closed his hand harder around Wade's. He could hear the men running away, scared and confused.

Eventually, Deadpool opened one eye, peeking. - "Did they leave?" - Peter nodded, his cheek already darkening from the punch he had received earlier, he helped his boyfriend sit, Wade staring at his own hoodie and the hole and blood on it. - "Man! I liked this hoodie."

Peter rubbed his thumb against Wade’s hand twice to get his attention. - "Wade, what are we gonna do? He killed you! Right after you gave him a no killing speech!" - Oh, the irony, a mercenary telling a guy to drop a gun.

Deadpool lifted his index finger as he clarified. - "Most certainly he shouldn't have shot that gun, it was a shitty gun. And also, he was going to fucking shoot you! That… I almost got a heart attack there, Petey, you can't die, you hear me? You die, I kill everyone. It's gonna be Deadpool kills the Marvel universe all over again." - Wade had already given some thought to the fact he was most certainly going to outlive Peter, he had hyperventilated at the mere notion of his only close friend dying, he had never had a relationship as… addictive as this one, it felt like home and he was certain achieving such a thing with another person would be almost impossible to him, not only because he was a hard person to tolerate but because most certainly he'd want a relationship like the one he had with Peter right now and for that he'd need… well, Peter.

But it was going to be all right. Wade had already found a solution to this problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, what happened???? For some reason I got a lot of kudos from last weekend to this one, to hit the two hundreds feels like a dream, thanks to every single one of you that contributed to that! and the nice comments ! woah! :) you guys inspire me so much, I'm already working on a new fic, you push me to write better.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warning for sex**!!!  
>   
>  Remember that my sex chapters are fillers! You can skip them if you'd rather do so.

Spider-man shook his hand in front of the mercenary, trying to get his attention. - "Wade? I didn't understand the last part but never mind that, listen, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I suggest thinking about what we are going to do about the guys that just run away thinking they'd killed you!"

Wade got up from the floor, dusting off his jeans. - "Don't worry, I'll go look for them and have a chat, it'll be hilarious." - _'Should we pretend to be a ghost, or a zombie?_ ' ' _Zombie, no make-up needed.'_

Deadpool placed his hand on Peter's chin and turned his head softly, examining the bruise on his cheek. It wasn't bad but it still bothered Wade, he was glad to have thrown Alejandro at the dude that had done this; in the end, you didn't need to build a suit of armor to turn a man into a weapon, you just needed to have good aim and be strong enough to lift him up.

Parker grabbed Wade's hand and linked it with his, entwining their fingers as he smiled apologetically. - "I'm sorry… I kinda ruined our first date."

"Are you kidding me?! That was the best date ever! We ate at a retro restaurant, played footsie and kicked ass!" - He pointed at the bullet hole in his hoodie. - "It was literally a killer date. Honestly, the only turn off was finding out you dip your french fries in milkshake."

Peter rolled his eyes at the comment, pulling at Wade's hand to start walking towards their apartment.

It was a quiet night, it would've been lonely if it weren't for each other's company. With the body heat they'd acquired during the fight vanishing, Peter's limbs started feeling the cold, only his hand remaining warm where he was gripping Wade's. The mercenary was talking excitedly, moving his arm in a swinging motion that made Peter's arm move too in such a way they looked like a couple of idiots.

"Damn Petey I mean you practically punched him in the face for me at the restaurant, Spider-man punched a man for me. Am I bad influence? Am I turning you into a bad boy? Should I spank you?"

Peter was making a great effort to ignore the kinky comments but he couldn't help the faint blush that lit his cheeks. They were pretty close to arriving home, yet it seemed endless when Deadpool made one sexual comment per step they took and while the gunman tended to flirt with him since before they were an item, the teasing had evidently leveled up now that they had started dating, as if Wade had gained a new sense of confidence on what they had and how far he could push.

"Should I wear the dress while I do so?" 

Parker gripped Wade's hand a bit too hard at the mental image, and holy shit, had he always been like this? He remembered having seen Deadpool in a dress before, though maybe he hadn't paid enough attention because he had been doing his best to stare anywhere but at the general direction where the mercenary stood, since he certainly had not felt as hot and bothered as he did now. He highly doubted it had to do with the outfit and more with the person wearing it; for a while now, Wade had showed he had an incredible ability to care about people, he just chose who deserved it in quite a critical manner, and if there was something that made Spider-man's heart melt was a person who cared. He had not expected to find out Wade Wilson fit that description. The outlined muscles helped were a plus.

Peter's eyes followed the uneven line of Wade's neck, the nasty scars only making him wonder whether it would feel soft and hot against his tongue, or if it would be rough, making his lips feel hot and raw from the constant friction, he had kissed that neck before but it felt too long ago and he needed to remember. Now.

He stole Wade's key card from the pocket on his hoodie and tugged at the mercenary to hurry towards the door and the elevator, oh god, the elevator, they were so close already.

"Chill! Baby boy! Pffft." - Wilson laughed playfully as they went up, knowing exactly what was going on with his boyfriend by the way his pupils were blown and his cheeks flushed. The doors opened with an electronic chime and Wade simply stood there, blocking the exit like a moron.

"Wade, you move this instant or I'll rip your clothes off right here."

Judging by the thrilling smile the mercenary plastered on his face, that was the wrong thing to say. - "Would you do that? Mh?" - ' _I think we really corrupted him_.' - ' _Nah, he was already a kinky fucker. I recognize one of our own when we see one, he was holding up_.'

The look of determination that flashed through Peter's face after the challenge was laid out made the voices shut up and Wade whimper. Soon his hoodie was being pulled off, the hole from the bullet stretching further through the fabric when being pulled like that all at once, suddenly Wade wasn’t laughing anymore and he wanted to be rid of his clothes as enthusiastically as Peter because _damn_ , he had not known the boy had it in him to be so harsh.

Parker placed a hand gently on the back of Wade's neck and pushed the man forward as he himself moved closer, meeting him halfway. Peter's lips were caressing the scarred flesh on Wade’s neck as he sucked eagerly, leaving a wet red mark that would probably turn purple for a few seconds before the healing factor dealt with it no matter how long or hard Peter tried to leave a trace behind on the skin, and fuck if it made Peter angry that no mark he left on the mercenary would stay for long enough to show everyone else that Wade was loved with passion, even if he appreciated that it was the same healing factor that had helped Wade survive longer than any of his stupidities would have allowed him to. Deadpool's hips jerked forward an inch, trying to get closer to Peter's body heat while the hero attended to his neck like vampire foreplay.   

"Nggggh… Take it off, take it all off." - Wade clang to Spider-man's shirt and tugged until the kisses on his neck stopped for long enough to rip the piece of fabric off Peter, a button flying away as if it was trying to escape the elevator. The mercenary advanced until his chest was against Peter's, their rugged breaths uncoordinated and skin burning from the blood rush. Parker's back hit the mirror on the elevator as he was caged by his boyfriend who decided his neck could take a rest and leant his head forward, humming contently when their lips connected. Peter closed his eyes but Wade couldn’t help but stare at their reflection, reassuring himself that this was happening, that the man he was kissing was real and not a fragment of his imagination.

‘ _Because tonight, Geppetto wished for a real boy._ ’ ‘ _All that build up and you’re ruining the mood with Pinocchio jokes._ ’

It had started getting stuffy inside the elevator but neither of them minded it much when Peter was angling his waist so that it fit against Wade's, a strong thigh from the mercenary making its way in between Peter’s legs so that when he lowered his body just enough to rub against it one time and it made his head buzz, a familiar sensation invading him, making his whole body shake slightly, a tingly… tingly…

… Was that his spider sense?

"Shit! Wade! Grab the clothes!"

 

Gertrude got into the elevator, it seemed to be empty, though after hearing something like a snort she cleared her glasses a few times just to be sure nobody was around to get out or in from it, she had really bad eyesight after all, her eyes looking funny through one whole centimeter of curved glass. She didn't notice the two men that were stuck to the ceiling, even if she might've been able to touch them if she held up her hand and stood on her tip toes.

 

Peter's body was now caging the mercenary's and thank fuck for his super strength because he wouldn't have been able to keep them stuck that way otherwise, especially since he could use only one of his hands since the other one had been used to shut the mercenary up when Wade had almost started laughing out loud. The shirt and hoodie were resting squished in between them, which was a big help because they were both pretty hard and needed an extra layer of clothes in the middle in this sort of situation.

‘ _Geez, I've never wished for elevator music so hard in my life_.' - Wilson's internal monologue kept him occupied for barely three seconds, soon enough he was licking in between Peter's fingers, trying to make the man take away his hand from where it was pressed against his mouth. Peter glared at him in such a way it would make Nick Fury look unthreatening, which only encouraged Wade further, making an extra effort to roll his tongue against the juncture of every single finger. As soon as the unknowing lady got off the elevator Peter was swiping the key card to go back to their floor without even getting off the ceiling.

"I can't freaking believe it. She was right there! And you just decide I'm a valid replacement for a lollipop!"

"Hey! I'm not the one that took off your clothes desperately in the elevator. I mean, I was, but you did it first!"

A loud chime announced they'd arrived at their floor, the machine probably as happy that they were walking the hell away as the couch had been that one time. The mercenary was held in a tight grip while Peter trotted towards their room, as if he didn't have a Wade Wilson on his shoulder, because of course Wade wasn't carried bridal style like a princess, he was carried over the shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Honestly, Deadpool wouldn't complain about it, the view was ass-tounding. – ‘ _Hahah. That’s a good one_.’

Wade was thrown on the bed and he had started wondering with all the manhandling if he truly had become a sack of potatoes, but then Peter climbed on top of him and started kissing his neck again, making a line towards his stomach. Hopefully Peter didn't do that with sacks of potatoes, not that he was one to judge but well… where had they left the half of the clothes they had lost anyway? He was trying to figure it out when Peter pressed his lips against a nipple. - "Fhhhhh, ok." - Nevermind the clothes then, the hoodie was kind of lost already anyway, what with the bullet hole and everything.

Peter was happy to find out Wade's nipples were extremely sensitive and responsive, now he wondered whether the mercenary duct taped them under his suit because there was no way they didn't perk up in cold days. He pinched the nub once more and was rewarded with another long groan that went right to his groin, he was careful when he used his teeth, worried it would hurt the sensitive area, but as soon as he tentatively grazed his incisors against the pink skin he felt Wade's fingers intertwining with his hair and pushing his head closer. It made Peter chuckle, the hot air that left his mouth when doing so turning the mercenary even crazier.

"Petey. Just. Fuck me." - Wade spat between gritted teeth. That definitely didn’t sound like a request.

Parker lifted a brow at the prospect, straightening his back where he sat on top of Wade and licking his lips nervously. – "I… ah, don't you need… special supplies for that?"

Wilson froze for a few seconds before laughing. - " _Special supplies_? Subtlety’s a nice touch. How red in the face do you get when googling gay sex? Did you get curious recently or was it when you were younger?” - He blinked his eyes obnoxiously. – “Was it when you first saw my sweet-sweet body?"

Peter pouted at him, he started moving away from Wade when a hand held him by the wrist and pushed him to stay.

"Hey. It's nice of you to ask… but I've taken care of everything as soon as you told me we were going on a date."

"When? I was with you the whole time."

"Oh, you know… when you were too busy drooling on the floor after I showed you my formal suit and one of my private dresses." – ‘ _Yeah. And the sex is barely ever realistic in these stories anyway_.’

Peter would've complained at the cheeky reply or insisted that it was impossible for Wade to have done any preparations in such a short amount of time, but the only thing he could wrap his mind around was Wade saying _one_ of my private dresses _._ It got him thinking. - "You got more than one?"

Wade rolled them around on the bed, sitting on top of Peter with a look in his eyes that made the boy swallow thickly. - "Let’s leave the modeling show for later, shall we?" – He pressed a thumb against the scar on Peter's wrist, the sensitive skin trembling with each heartbeat. - "I have another suggestion as to what to do right now."

Spider-man nodded enthusiastically as Wade stretched to reach for the nightstand, blessing Peter with a nice view of his pectorals, the muscles and scars shifting with each small movement and his nipples glistering with what was left of Peter's own spit. He needed to do something about his arousal, he needed to do something about it yesterday. As he worried his lip and stared anywhere but in front of him where Wade was occupied unintentionally showing off, he felt something was shoved in his hand and looked at it to find a bottle of lube and a condom. - "Condom?" – He was not complaining but definitely surprised. Last he had checked the single thing Wade had was a mutated cancer, so he had thought Wade was not a condom kind of guy, but the mercenary shrugged and started unbuttoning his jeans and kicking off his shoes and socks, taking everything off while skillfully keeping his body above Peter's, his muscles shifting with each movement. Once he was done, Wade was lowering his head and sucking on Peter's neck and jawline at a torturously slow pace, pinching the skin between his burning lips and sucking it into his wet mouth with popping noises.

"Ah, Wade? I won't… hold on much longer, not if you do that." - Also, the zipper on his own jean was embedding on Peter and it hurt; Deadpool clearly noticed since he grimaced in sympathy and helped him out of them, complaining when he realized he would have to take off Peter's shoes as well to do so.

They both ended up in their underwear, which by now made a terrible job at hiding anything considering how damp the fabric was and how hard they both were. Wade widened his eyes as soon as he took in the outline of Peter’s dick and it was such an open gesture that Peter almost covered himself up out of reflex.

"WOoah! Happy to see me. That's happier than last time, I remember it less happy."

"That's because last time you weren't being a freaking tease!" - Peter covered his face with his hands, frustrated. - "What's with your impressive self-control anyway?" - He uncovered his face when hearing a chuckle and some rustling, effectively, Wade had taken off his underwear and was snatching the bottle of lube that had been dropped and forgotten by Peter's face, his body held mere inches above the boy by his impressive thighs. Those thighs. Wade probably knew a thousand ways to kill with them and they did look capable of pulling the strength needed to do so.

"That's because I may or may not have touched myself today while I showered… Don't worry! I thought only of you while at it, sweet cheeks!"

Peter grumbled and stole back the bottle of lube, pulling off his underwear with a single hand uncomfortably and shaking his legs until they finally fell to the floor. How was it that he felt like he was burning… and yet Wade looked as fresh as if he had just stepped out from a fridge?

It took one generously lubed finger to make the mercenary stop with his cocky attitude, though not exactly make him shut up. Peter had learnt from their past interactions that Wade was very vocal about what he liked. And his moans, though not exaggerated like a porn star, still filled the room with an edge of desperation and want that made Peter smile in satisfaction. - ' _How about that, Mr. I touched myself today so I've got self-control?_ ' - He made sure that the mercenary run as hot as himself, teasing with a patience that made the back of his neck sweat. By the time the third finger was inside Wade, caressing the insides and rubbing against every spot with agonizingly tender movements, the man had melted on top of Peter, keeping the lower part of his body lifted up by mere willpower as he panted on his boyfriend's collarbone, occasionally moving his hip in an attempt to ease his need for friction.

When Wade noticed the bittersweet torture wasn't ending anytime soon he let out a grunt and felt with his hand for the condom without removing his face from under Peter's jaw, and fuck, Peter smelt so good right now and his skin was glistening so beautifully, he wanted him now. He needed him yesterday.  - ' _Our boy getting all Jane Austen here._ ' – ‘ _Did Jane Austen write porn?_ ’

The condom was shoved on Peter's hand for a second time, a silent demand for him to stop the meticulous poking and start with the pounding. Parker hummed, content with the way he had turned the tables. He felt a bit awkward as he ripped the plastic wrapping of the condom with his teeth, especially since Wade stared at him with a dazed expression from where he lay comfortably on top of Peter's chest like a dead weight.

"Putting it on would be much easier if you weren't laying on top of me as if you had been shot."

Deadpool pouted dramatically, lifting himself off his boyfriend, folding his legs until he was hovering over Peter with his knees pressed to the bed covers, he spoke as he backtracked a little to give Peter some space to maneuver. - "But I was shot."

The only response he got was some eye rolling, then Spider-man was throwing the wrapper as far as he could manage and putting the condom on, trying to ignore the way Wade followed the movement with his eyes, his pupils dilating with renewed thrill. - "Would you rather be laying back onahhh, ok." - Peter was trying to go slowly and be gentle about it but he was interrupted by his boyfriend when the man decided to just fuck himself quite literally, and even if he joined their bodies carefully and steadily, Wade's movements were constant and firm, even elegant for such a muscled guy. - "Ah, ok like this is fine. Got it." - Peter dropped his head back, laying it on the cushioned bed as he looked at Wade overwhelmed, it was just that the mercenary made it look so easy and feel so… fuck, it felt so intimate. He let out a moan and closed his eyes, his hands finding their way to Wade's sides as he held his breath until his lover was finally settled as close to him as he could possibly be, drawing an invisible circle as he swayed his hips to adjust himself further. -"You are… so good at this." - Peter's sentences came out breathless.

Wade was barely hearing when Peter spoke, he felt filled and warm, his body humming low like an engine. - "You sound surprised." - He squinted his eyes, pretending to be offended. Honestly, he was amazed at his own courage lately, he felt more comfortable in his own skin… which was saying a lot when it came to his marred skin. And he was pretty sure it was because the affection Peter showed towards him was the closest thing to unconditional that Wade had ever received. It was probably why this felt so good, or maybe it was because neither of them got laid often, what with Peter having two jobs and Wade being Wade.

Peter grazed Wade's hips with the tip of fingers, getting his attention. He got a soft kiss on his still bruised cheek as a reply, it caught him off guard because he had utterly forgotten about having been hit earlier, but the touch still sparked some pain. Then Wade's lips moved further, kissing Peter's mouth with enthusiasm and pinching the already swollen lips with his teeth until he got a whine out of the man underneath him. He started lifting himself up and dropping back down and Peter took a deep breath because Wade was as unpredictable with his fucking as he was at everything else and before he could brace himself for the grip of Wade’s body he was already covered tightly, and it happened again. And again. - "Nggfhh…" - He could only speak gibberish, as soon as his mouth opened either an unintelligible grunt came out or Wade's tongue slid in. 

Wade closed his eyes as he sank himself deeper, angling himself in such a way it made his insides burn. He chuckled a bit at Peter's attempt at talking and the hands resting on his sides clung harder to him as punishment, way too hard, -I sorta can't control my superhuman strength while I fuck- hard. He loved it, feeling the power Peter had over him or could have if he didn't hold back, it made him greedy, but he couldn't move while being held that way. Peter didn't seem to find that to be a problem since he had lifted his back off the bed to sit and set the rhythm himself as he stretched himself to kiss Deadpool on the corner of his lips. Wade met him halfway at each thrust, his ass cheeks hitting against Peter's thighs until he could _feel_ how reddish they had become, when Peter noticed he placed both his hands on the marks and squeezed without wasting a second, without giving Wade a second to prepare. It seemed to be the right thing to do since Wade whined softly and hid his face on the crook of Peter's neck, panting hard as he came, his cock giving quick jerks and his insides throbbing around Peter, who gradually slowed down until he was pushing upwards towards Wade sluggishly, his legs and arms shaking with the effort.

Deadpool pressed their chests closer together and followed the rounded semi-circle that was the outside of Peter's ear with the tip of his tongue before whispering sweet words to him. - "Fuck me harder, I can take it." - Ok, maybe not exactly _sweet_ but still effective, especially after purposely clenching his ass and giving his boyfriend a wet and messy kiss that left them both breathless. Peter came with a mostly-repressed howl that sounded almost frustrated as he bit on his own lips, then he sighed Wade's name and sagged backwards, his fall cushioned by the bed underneath them.

Deadpool winced a bit when lifting himself up, pulling Peter off from him slowly, the other lazily tying up the condom and throwing it with a remarkable aim towards the trash can.

"Show off." - Wade babbled as he fell on top of his boyfriend, taking advantage of the fact the man was freaking Spider-man and wouldn't feel crushed under so much weight.

Peter snorted, his eyes already closed, and rubbed the palm of his hand against Wade's back in soothing circles, stopping for a second when feeling the fresh scar the bullet from earlier had left behind and that had yet to vanish, and then resuming automatically as if he had not stumbled upon it. He had begun falling asleep when he felt the faint brush of lips against his.

"Best date ever. We should do it again someday…" - There was a hint of doubt in the statement, a trace of shyness in it that pushed Peter to reply even in his state of somnolence.

"Yes. Yes we should." - He kissed whatever part of Wade that was at close range, which turned out to be his forehead, before laying still and quiet again. It didn't take long for them both to fall asleep naked and tangled on each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Either I have given up and lowered my own standards for editing or my writing reached OK levels about two chapters ago because I haven't been modifying them much before posting lately. I'm almost done with a new spideypool fic that'll be coming up after this one and then I'm taking a break from spideypool for a while, got an idea for a reaper76 that I can't miss, but there's still a long way to go until I finish uploading this one (August, maybe?). If you've got any suggestions as to spideypool fics I should read while I rest in order to get inspired, you're welcome to send me the links!! I'm more of a reader than a writer tbh. Thank you all for the nice comments and the kudos, as always!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics is for flashbacks ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

"I won't judge you for your boyfriend, I've slept with worse. Hell, I am worse sometimes, but… he's up to something." - Tony brushed the back of his hand against the prickling hairs of his beard as he spoke. The man had been considerate enough to have this talk in a secluded room and with no witnesses, though it still made Peter's blood boil to hear the lack of trust people tended to have when it came to Wade.

"What do you mean?" - They were sitting on some sort of conference room with a long table and about a dozen chairs, Stark was wearing casual clothes but Peter was fully suited because _somebody_ had called him and stated it was an emergency but that it wasn't bring your boyfriend to work day, so please leave your sugar pie honey bunch at home. - "How is your paranoid streak an emergency anyway?"

Stark sensed the defensive stance Peter was taking so he put his hands up in surrender. - "Don't be mad at me, kid. I'm just being a nice dad and telling you this before you find out from S.H.I.E.L.D."

Spider-man mumbled some complaints at the nice dad comment and crossed his arms in front of his chest. - "Well, what is he up to then?" - Some pictures were tossed on the table in front of him, he feared they would be some gory images demonstrating a massacre caused by one of the mercenary's guns or bombs due to his job field but instead he found himself looking at a guy and a girl having something at a café. Unexpected to say the least. - "What does this even mean?"

Tony tapped one picture a few times with his index finger. - "It means either your boyfriend is cheating on you, or he's striking a deal with Loki."

And by the way Iron man was looking at him, one of his eyebrows raised as if waiting for an explanation, he had already discarded the first option. Peter silently stared at the pictures again, it didn't take long for him to notice Deadpool's distinctive holographic collar and the weird green sparkles that lit the girl's eyes, it still wasn't enough proof and it mostly left him wondering… if that _was_ Deadpool, how the hell had Tony found him? It seemed intricate enough to get this picture, let alone get past the disguise to realize it was him.

"Ah! In case you are wondering, S.H.I.E.L.D is sort of following your boyfriend… and you, well, ever since the … the thing." - Stark looked down as if Weapon X was a bad memory for himself, it sort of was, it hit too close to home and reminded him of his own time as a hostage in a cave, also, he was fond of Peter and didn't like him having to go through such an experience. - "But worry not! I have been chasing and shooing them." - He smirked proudly, the bastard probably happy to pester the organization after all the troubles they had caused him.

"You mean to tell me you have been following S.H.I.E.L.D. , which has been following me… and you didn't warn me?!" - He was on his way to getting furious when the other man shrugged, looking apologetic.

"I thought you had enough to worry already. I was going to tell you a few days ago but then Rhino happened and…”- Tony pointed his finger at Peter accusingly. –“I _did_ mention we had to talk, several times."

Peter turned his head down to look at the pictures one more time, Tony was right… not like he was going to say it out loud, praise was something Iron Man's ego didn't need even if the man seemed to be pretty self-depreciating on some dark days. Well… during those days he rubbed praise off like dirt anyway, compliments bounced on him. Today was not a dark day though, thankfully. - "Fine, I'll ask him about it."

Stark grimaced, taking the pictures back and putting them in his suit pocket by his chest. - "You can't. If there's something foggy going on he won't tell you, don't forget this has to do with Loki, which means there will be some lying involved."

Peter stood up from his chair, frowning. - "Wade wouldn't lie to me."

"Fine, then, what jobs has he been taking lately?"

The boy bit his lip and stammered. - "I don't know…"- Tony looked at him, unimpressed, and Peter hurried to add. - "Because I didn't _ask_ him. I try to not bring it up."

"You know. I'm not the first person one would come for relationship advice but sooner or later the fact he's a mercenary and you are a superhero will come back to bite you in the ass, and not in a kinky way."

Spider-man had started walking away even before Stark had finished talking, he was mad, but not precisely because Tony was wrong; he knew he had been avoiding the whole mercenary subject like Neo dodging bullets and it hurt to hear the truth being put that bluntly. Just when he put his finger on the door for it to open automatically, because apparently Stark was afraid of doorknobs, a hand was laid on his shoulder.

"Look, I'm sorry. I should've kept my mouth shut about that, just… know I've got your back, doesn't matter how you choose to go about this. We ok? We bros?"

Peter smiled dimly and nodded. - "Why, I thought you said you were my…”

“Don’t say it, I regretted it right after it left my mouth. Don’t-”

_“…nice dad_."

 

\---

 

J.J.Jameson was not happy with him, he also wasn't happy with Spider-man but that wasn't something that went unforeseen. - "He was already a menace before, with any luck his breakdown was due to realizing he wasn't made to be a hero. We can't have him collapsing as he tries to take down troublemakers, can he collapse mid-swing as he goes from one building to another? He could crash a civilian. You! You should write about that!"

The addressed reporter stared at Jameson quietly, before lifting a brow. - "Like pigeons when they die mid-flight?"

"Don't be ridiculous, pigeons are much smarter than Spider-man." - With a hand movement the reporter was dismissed, leaving Peter alone in the office. - "Parker! You finally show your face! You better hand me some goddamn good pictures by the end of the week or you are fired." - The smoke from the cigar found its way to Peter's face and the boy coughed a few times. - "Well? Are you waiting for me to give you a goodbye kiss? Go!"

"Yes! Sir."

Yikes. Well, that could've been worse, it was just the weekly threat he got from Jameson of getting fired, the man must have been in a good mood, probably rejoicing in the moment since other newspapers were trashing Spider-man in unison as well. He shook his head and walked away from the office, absentmindedly caressing his camera. Bad thing about the hero issue being a secret: he didn't get days off due to traumatic events, as far as the world was concerned, Peter's worst nightmares merely involved Jameson screaming at him.

He was arriving to the apartment when he saw Wade by the door, Spider-man hid behind a wall and saw the mercenary scooting away. - ' _I am actually doing this. Tony owes me big one, I want at least two of his magical coffee machines_.' - The boy chased after Deadpool, who was fully suited and even carried more ammo and grenades than usual… which was saying something, since he tended to carry plenty already. Parker wasn't wearing his Spider-man suit so he had to refrain from sticking to walls, making as little noise as he possibly could. Wade entered some alley and stopped in front of a wall, seconds later a portal appeared, it made a low static noise and some sparkles jumped out of it. Wade simply walked into it and disappeared along with the portal. Spider-man, that had been looking from afar, walked towards the place where the mercenary had been standing seconds ago and placed his hands on the wall, feeling for abnormalities. Nothing happened. - "O… kay?”

 

Peter followed him four times afterwards, the chase always ended up with his boyfriend walking into a portal. So, either Wade was sleepwalking into another dimension… or he was up to something, and he hated to admit it, but there was a high chance he was working with Loki after all.

The worst part was arriving home after patrol, tiredly getting into bed and having the mercenary kissing him, hugging him and falling asleep curled up with each other, it made him feel guilty. If Wade _was_ working with Loki, or even if he wasn't, he was still a mercenary… would Spider-man be able to let it slip? He had been doing just that up until now but he was getting better, he mostly had no nightmares and was back to being a hero after getting himself together from the Rhino incident. Wade had helped, he had entwined smart words in between his speech, seeing if some other phrase could cause a break down, and continued to use them until all Peter was able to relate them to was Deadpool. He was running out of excuses to postpone the inevitable: Spider-man couldn't date Deadpool, a hero could not hang out with a killer.

Peter pressed his face against Wade's chest and inhaled, unable to sleep.

 

\---

It was the fifth time when he fucked up. He didn't even know why he followed Wade anymore, he knew it would always end up with him walking into a portal, but like some masochistic ritual he continued to walk a few steps behind his boyfriend, wishing for Deadpool to suddenly turn around and walk back home. But he always carried on, and when he did go back home it was after showering and with his suit either washed or new. Spider-man was honestly offended by that, did Wade think Peter wouldn't notice?

This time, though, he was silently following Wade when his cellphone rang and he wasn't Black Widow, alright? He didn't spy on people often, so his ringtone was loud and distinctive enough for the mercenary to turn his head towards the place where he was hiding.

"Petey?"

Deadpool was walking towards him. Shit. Shit, shit, shit! - "… No?"

"Peter?!" - Now Wade sounded pissed, he looked pissed as well, what with his magic mask that somehow was capable of showing his expressions. Spider-man left from the shadowed corner that hid him, his hands up in surrender, Wade wouldn't shoot him, right? Oh, now Wade was dropping his angry face for a blank one, he… wouldn't shoot him… probably… maybe? - "How long have you been following me?"

Peter got nervous, he scratched his neck and looked at the floor. - "Haha, em… today? Since you got out of our apartment." –

Something seemed to get the mercenary's attention in that phrase, it wasn't until Wade spoke that Parker realized he had sort of shoved his foot up his ass even deeper. - "Today? You’ve been following me for more than a day?" - Deadpool walked closer to him, he walked slowly and inclining his head in some predatory manner, hands clutched at his sides but far enough from his guns not to get worried.

"… Yes." - They were so close that they could feel each other's breaths, hot and noisy in between them and suddenly Peter got the impression there wasn't enough air for the two of them in such short space.

Then the portal made a dim noise, as if it was making an effort to remain open, and Wade stopped staring at Peter in order to look at it, his mask wrinkling in between the eyes. - "We'll talk about this when I get back." - Then he started walking away and towards the strange breach so Peter hurried to grab his wrist.

"Where are you going? Where does this take you?"

Deadpool looked reluctant, whether it was because he wanted to go or he wanted to stay was uncertain. Instead, the mercenary kissed him sweetly on the cheek and left, mumbling something about not having time to explain right now.

 

\---

 

If Peter had been Bruce Banner, there would be nothing left to destroy in the world. In 'the nine realms', like big blond norse said. He had gone from nervous to worried and now he was infuriated; waiting inside the apartment, sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed, it felt like those dramas in which one of the partners in a couple found out they were being cheated on so when their lover arrived after the affair, they'd turn on the light to find they had been caught when seeing their partner sitting on the armchair, looking at them accusingly.

This time though, when Wade came back he had not showered, nor changed or washed the suit and it sort of got the fight out of Peter for a few seconds, watching the mercenary as he stumbled into the room, leaving a trail of blood behind.

"Oh my god! Wade!" - Peter got up in a hurry, trying to help his boyfriend, but the mercenary shrugged his help off, saying he was fine as he fell down onto the sofa like a marionette that had its strings cut off. There was blood everywhere, but instead of thinking how much of a pain it would be to clean off, all Peter could think about was how battered Wade looked and how much his state resembled those days during Weapon X. Parker was standing close enough to the sofa to touch it with his knees, he swallowed with difficulty after taking a look at some of the worst wounds that had been inflected on Wade. - "What… What are you doing? Are you… is it true that you're working for Loki?"

Deadpool took off his mask and Peter cringed when he noticed some missing teeth. - "Nah, of course not." - A sigh of relief left Peter before the mercenary carried on. - "I'm working for his daughter."

"Wade!" - Peter dropped his body next to Deadpool, using his hands to cover his face. Why? Why couldn't he get a boyfriend with at least the minimum amount of common sense necessary to classify as a human being? A hand was pressed to his knee and he shoved it away. - "Don't give me that! Wade! What the fuck?!"- The mercenary's eyes opened wide at the curse words, like a little kid when they overheard one of their parents say a bad word for the first time. - "These people are dangerous, you can't just… you… can't." - His chest was overflowed with feelings, hopelessness most of all. Wade turned towards him, lifting one leg to place it entirely on the couch, the mud on his shoes getting everywhere.

They would have to move out after this, it would probably be easier than cleaning and cheaper than getting all the products necessary to get the blood off the cushions; Wade often moved out instead of cleaning… fine, he always moved out instead of cleaning. - "… Die.” – He completed Peter’s sentence. –“I can't die." - The mercenary spit the words out as if they tasted bitter.

Peter looked at him, furrowing his brows. - "Is this what it's all about? You not being able to die? You are… trying to die?"

"…Yes and no."

Parker sniffed, trying to keep himself together. The mercenary had always been known to be suicidal but Peter had thought that their life together was worth more than what death offered, that the hugs they shared at night while they slept, cuddled and safe in each other's arms, were better than the sweet embrace of death. He sniffed again.

"No, no, hold on baby boy, it's not like that! Shit." - Then the mercenary dared to get closer, placing his warm hands on Peter's shoulders and Peter wouldn't have that, he started sobbing as soon as their bodies made contact.

"You are trying to die?! Wade?! I was… what about the date? Wouldn’t you like to date again?" - His voice faltered, a whine escaping as Deadpool made shushing noises to try and calm him down, and it made him cry even more because that's what they did during Weapon X when one of them broke down and Peter wasn't physically hurt but his chest ached and he was so… enraged and sad, he was terribly sad. He kept offering things to Wade, as if to bargain for his lover's life. - "What about the kisses? When we cook together? What about aunt May? May loves you, what about her, Wade? What about me?" - He clutched his hands on Deadpool's suit, the fabric making a disgusting noise as the dry blood detached from Wade’s skin. - "I love you, so what about me?"

If Wade's eyes had been wide at the curse word they were about to pop out now. They both remained still for a minute, quietly looking at each other's eyes in search for answers.

"Yeah. It'd be quite shitty, right? Making you fall for me and then dying."- Peter furrowed his brow in confusion at the tone of voice, which was almost mocking. - "Except it's gonna happen," - The mercenary looked away and distanced himself a few inches, he reacted as if Peter had just revealed to him Santa wasn't real. - "It's gonna happen but you're not going to be the one that remains alive and alone."

It sort of clicked now, Wade's answer from a while ago. It _was_ about Wilson not being able to die but… not the way he had imagined. He sniffed again and got rid of some tears with the back of his hand, trying to make up some time to think what to reply. - "I can't do anything about that, Wade. I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." - He was about to add that they could call it quits, but the words died in his throat; he couldn't say it, he was being selfish but he simply couldn't, if there was something he had learnt after the last months it was that he had grown to be dependent on Wade, he just hadn't thought about how that worked both ways. Then Wade looked at him, though still facing the floor.

"I can…"

"You can what?"

"… Do something about it… about you dying someday."

The tension in the room was so strong that if some pencil was thrown in the general area, it would probably bounce back and hit whomever had thrown it right in the face. At the speed of a missile.

Parker rearranged himself on the couch, turning his body towards Wade, giving the man all of his attention. - "What do you mean?"

Deadpool stood up, his weapons had started digging on his skin and made him uncomfortable. He held his mask in between his hands, stretching it nervously as if it were made of chewing gum. - "This is not exactly how I wanted to tell you…" 

 

_"So… you'll pay me whatever I ask for?" - Deadpool eyed the god suspiciously, after all Loki wasn't someone you could trust._

_"You seem to have something in mind already… speak out, don't be shy." - The liar was inspecting his nails as he spoke, and damn if his teenage girl appearance was even more frightening than his usual looks. He… She, she looked like a main character from mean girls._

_Wade considered what he was about to ask for a few seconds, clearing his throat to buy some time. - "I want the mains to make someone live forever."_

_Loki smiled wickedly at the request, immortality was something that both of them already possessed, so she knew how much of a burden it could be, living. And of course, the fact both of them had it already meant that Wade was requesting this for someone else. - "Well, well… who's the poor fool?" - Wade's face fell at the comment, which surprised the god for a second, this meant Deadpool wanted to give immortality as a gift to someone he cherished, instead of as a curse to someone he despised. - "My advice is something that only mad men tend to ask for. But, I'll give you one for free. Wouldn't you consider to ask for your own mortality instead?"_

_Wade laughed, the noise sounded pained and tired. - "Wouldn't you have tested that on yourself already? I've tried everything. Everything. And if there's something I can tell you is that the universe wants me alive, it's written somewhere and no matter how much we try to erase it all we've got is a rubber and everything's carved on stone. Most people think achieving immortality is the greatest feat but we know…”- He grimaced at his own words. – “we know that the tough thing is getting rid of it."_

_Loki's back straightened, the bitter comment hitting too close to home, making her think of Ragnarok. It was interesting to find another being could feel that way too, she hadn't thought it was possible. - "Very well. I can't promise immortality, but I've got the means to give a human an extended life and a god like health."_

Parker watched Wade's back as the man walked away from the room and into their bedroom, he came back holding the lunch box he had brought home a long time ago. The mercenary kneeled close to the couch where Peter sat and opened the box carefully, revealing a couple of golden apples, they shone brightly, the yellowish light illuminating the inside of the container. The posture was an exact copy of a person asking for marriage in romantic movies and it was certainly done sarcastically on purpose.

"Honey, say hello to Idunn's apples"

Peter stared at them with bewilderment. - "Wade, what… what did you do to get your hands on these?"

Deadpool closed the lunch box and threw it on the couch, far from them but still landing softly on the cushioned surface. - "I've been working for Hela. She's… cool, actually. The job's nice too, I'm a zombie slayer, how is that for a résumé, eh? Add that under job experience."

Peter tried to wrap his mind around everything that was being told to him but he barely managed to do so, he covered his face with his hands and groaned, it felt as if today he might as well glue his hands to his face to save himself the effort. - "Oh, god. Wade." - He sensed the mercenary's hand on his knee, massaging faintly. Peter dropped his hands and covered Wade's with his. - "Why didn't you tell me all this?"

"I was going to… eventually. Wanted to convince you to spend a life with me first."

And fuck, Deadpool had thought of this _months_ ago, he had already decided to spend an eternity together even before their first date. Peter needed to think this through, he needed some air too but as soon as he got up Wade was panicking.

"You don't have to if you don't wanna! That’s alright, we can still spend your life together. I can leave you alone on weekends if you get tired of me!" - Parker lifted his brows, his forehead wrinkling. - "Weekdays? Leave you alone on weekdays? Can you mimic what the right thing to say is cause I don’t know right now."

Peter couldn't help but chuckle at how ridiculous the whole situation was, it was either that or curling himself into a ball because of how much this meant. He placed a hand on Wade's shoulder, which miraculously made him shut up. - "It's not seeing you that bothers me, Wade, if I spend an eternity alive I would happily do so with you." - He adverted his gaze after realizing how deep of a confession that was. - "What I need to think about, is whether I _want_ to spend an eternity alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations everyone! you've made it to another sub-plot on this fic. We've come so far together.  
> Thank you all for the support! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of a sad and corny filler.  
> Punctuation is like... WAY off in this one.

Wade was slashing zombies but quite frankly, his head was elsewhere. Literally. - _'Ah, growing a whole new body will take some time. Hela will deduct this from our salary_.' - _'Think any Valkyrie will notice and have a strong devotion towards Legos so she tries and build a mercenary?_ ' - In his defense, nobody knew zombies were capable of dodging a sword so skillfully, zombies were supposed to be slow so when his katana hit air instead of a corpse there was nothing to stop the edge of the weapon. Wade had swung the blade in a circular movement, meaning it did a three-sixty which… coincidentally, made the katana hit the back of his own neck after it slid from his fingers like traitorous butter. - ' _Out of all the stupid deaths we've had, this one is easily in the top ten. Right after eating that suspicious looking pizza from the fridge_.' - _'Man, that was lame, that's a death we're not telling anyone about, thought it only happened in The Sims_.' - ' _Ah, a death that we'll take to our graves_!'  

Well, now was a good time to make up a plan to convince Peter about the incredible advantages of being immortal, which were like… five, and the innumerable advantages that came with sharing said immortal life with an insane douchebag.

Easy enough.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, maybe he should just shove those golden apples up his asshole instead of being so selfish, but to be honest it seemed like Peter was one of those beings that deserved to live forever. Like guinea pigs. Guinea pigs should live forever, right? The world could only benefit from that. Creating an immortal guinea pig wouldn't be selfish, it would be for a greater good. Ugh, his head hurt, which probably had less to do with thinking and more to do with him being _only_ a thinking head right now. Was he even unconscious or was this some sort of spiritual waiting space? He really hoped to find his body after regenerating, he needed his ammo… and his suit, he'd much rather wear the Deadpool one than the birthday one. Also, it was the third time somebody stepped on him and wow, rude, if you were going to walk over a decapitated head at least check whether it’s still sentient, zombies should kind of get that from experience.

                                                                                                         

As soon as he got his body back he found his way towards the rest of the suit, a Valkyrie looked at him funny for a while, absentmindedly stabbing an approaching living dead as if she had just been pulling weed off the ground. It didn't take long for him to figure out what the hell seemed off, he was naked and pulling at the clothing on a headless body. - "Hey! I'm into a lot of things but necrophilia ain't one of them, this is NOT a zombie corpse! Come on! Forget about asking me to paint your nails now, shame on you!" - He continued to curse at her as he put on what was left of his suit, even after she started laughing loudly. Hela had explained to him that Valkyries where generally recruited for battles that lasted centuries, which was why they treated war as a routine, like brushing their teeth. They talked and joked as they stabbed, Wade could even swear that last week he had seen a Valkyrie eating a weird granola bar as she cut dead people; they were also pretty used to seeing scarred naked men since Norse deities had zero regards for baring themselves in front of these ladies, to them Valkyries where like any other warrior, which they were not: they were much more efficient… and cuter. - _'Hey, the cute part is important, getting killed is 73% better when the murderer is cute. Ask whomever we’ve killed._ ' - Thinking about cute stuff brought him back to Petey, he couldn't go long without thinking of him and they weren't even in their honeymoon days, they had been an item for a while already. But Wade always had a craving for waffles and he had known them since forever. Having himself compared to waffles would make Peter either very offended or really proud. - _'Better than that one time you compared him to guinea pigs, in the paragraph above_.' - Deadpool was brought back to reality when a zombie bit his shoulder.

"Ah, kinky! Honey if you wanted my attention you just needed to say so." - He loaded his gun with one of the magical bullets and aimed for the head.

 

\---

 

It was Friday night and Peter was exhausted, he had gone on an Avenger's mission against aliens, quite frankly most of the missions tended to involve aliens and he couldn't figure out how the hell extraterrestrial life had not been a thing before, researchers must've been pretty blind considering the amount of species there were, at least hundreds and some aliens where pretty fucking huge not to see. Fortunately he had managed to get some pictures of the fight, awkwardly placing the camera on the roof of a building and begging for it not to fall nor for nobody to go there and steal it, a few weeks before a kind boy had thought it was lost and took it with him and it was only luck that helped Peter find the damned thing on an online announcement that read: ' _Found in NY, if it's yours please contact me at this email and send info on it and its content to check if it's truly your camera. Please share!_ ' - Along with some other minor information like the date, a picture and a vague description of the area where it was found. Peter felt relief when he noticed that he had managed to erase all the weird pictures Wade had taken of public restrooms before the incident. That would've been hard to explain.

He opened the door and dropped the keys on the table closest to the entrance, taking off his shoes and dropping himself gracelessly on the couch, happy with his decision of getting out of his Spider-man suit before getting too close to the building. He hid his face against the pillow and sighed, he wasn't moving… ever.

"Rough day, baby boy?"

Peter jumped at the voice, not expecting Wade to be home yet since the mercenary's working schedule was anything but normal;  that's when he noticed the glorious smell that invaded the room and the apron that his boyfriend was wearing. It used to have 'Kiss the cook' written on it until Wade had got his hands on a marker and replaced the second O for a C, Peter had scolded him for it so he had scribbled a rooster underneath the phrase and added an arrow that pointed at it, Spider-man tried hard not to laugh at it each time he encountered the thing laying around since it would only encourage Wade but he always failed and let out a strangled snort. - "Yeah, what are you making?"

"Pizza, it's the small Italian in me." - Deadpool threw the dough in the air, it flipped a few times, stretched and then fell briskly, the mercenary barely managing to catch it before it hit the floor since he had been too busy winking at Peter.

"With that display of talent the only chance of having an Italian inside you would be if you ate one."

Deadpool smirked at the comment and Peter let out a groan because he knew what was coming and he had walked right into that one. - "You're the only one I want inside of me, babe."

Eventually Peter found himself drifting off, too tired to stay with his eyes open. He woke up twenty minutes later when he felt his spider sense tingling faintly. Next to him stood Wade, a glass of water in hand and dangerously being tilted on top of his head.

"Woah, so it works for this kind of stuff too. Does it work for like… surprise parties? Or horror movies?"

Peter puffed his cheeks at him, quickly grabbing the glass and shoving Wade to the side playfully. - "Next time you try that I'll web you to the wall."

"Ah, and then what?" - Deadpool opened his eyes wide and blinked repeatedly, if it weren't for the fact he had no eyelashes it might've worked better as feigned innocence, instead it looked as if something had got inside of his eye and it bothered him. - "Come on, pizza's ready!"

 

That was the first dinner in which they exchanged comments about work, up until then both had avoided the topic due to one of them being a hero and the other one being a killer, but apparently now that Wade wasn't strictly unaliving anybody and instead helping in keeping the dead-dead, he was allowed to blurt out some stuff about his work. Though he wasn't allowed to mention intestines while eating spaghetti and was encouraged to remain freaking silent whenever something resembling meat was on the plate. - "So, remember the dog with multiple heads I mentioned way back? Turns out he _really_ doesn't like the sound of gunshots. He also doesn't appreciate my sense of humor, went for my arm after I threw a toy for him to bring back." - _'Tbh nobody appreciates our sense of humor_.'

Peter quirked a brow as he chewed. - "A toy?"

"Fine, it was a grenade. But it still had the safety on! That’s practically a rubber ball."

At this point, nobody would be surprised that Wade thought that.

That's when Peter's cellphone rang, the caller ID read MJ and he froze at that. Mary Jane never called this late unless something bad had happened. Peter pulled an index finger up signing for Wade to hold that thought and picked up when he saw the man nod. - "Hello?" - Honestly, he wasn't surprised when he heard her crying but it made him sit straighter.

"Peter? I went to May's house to bring her some groceries."

Oh, this just couldn't be good, the chance of her finishing that line of events by saying that she had encountered Leonardo DiCaprio on the way and that those were happy tears was too slight.

"She wouldn’t open the door so I used the extra key to get in and see if she had gone for a walk but I found her fainted on the floor. I'm at the hospital."

That made him stand up, Wade stood up as well, looking at him with concern. - "Which hospital? … Yeah, on my way."

They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later, which was surprising considering he hadn't swung his way there. Instead, Deadpool had stolen a bicycle from a poor bystander and instructed Peter to hold on to him. It was an uncomfortable position, Peter almost falling at least five times even when he was capable of clinging to buildings at ninety degrees and also, the bicycle was _stolen_ , which was something they'd have to talk about later, not then because Wade had been pedaling like a mad man and cursing about his teleportation device being broken as he avoided cars and pedestrians by millimeters. Frankly if he hadn't arrived to the hospital via Wade-cycle he would have arrived in an ambulance after they scraped their faces with the pavement.

A young secretary received them at the desk and the poor woman had to make sense of the long train of words Peter was letting out but she remained patient, used to the desperation and having seen enough disfigured patients to not look at Wade twice. She asked for the name of the person they were looking for, their relationship to said person and their names, her long sculpted nails shining with each swirling movement she made with her hand while completing a form. She told them a room number and indicated them where to go, lifted her eyes and made a funny expression with her face, a few steps later Wade realized he had never taken the apron off and had 'KISS THE COCK' literally written all over him.

' _Oooops! Unbelievable, all the way here wearing this and nobody accepted the offer_. ‘- He ripped off the apron with no elegance, shoving it in a small pouch that he always had on him. He kind of wondered what face May would've made when seeing that apron, she had known he had a thing for Peter right away, sensing their relationship had grown to be quite ... unique, but she probably wouldn't want to know _that_ much about their intimacy. The apron was too much.

Wade's internal monologue (dialogue? what’s with all the voices…) ended when Peter checked for the name listed on the door, his mouth trembling a little when reading May's name. Peter’s hands were also trembling and the mercenary wasn't sure if it was because of May being in a hospital or himself being in a hospital and all of the wrong memories that brought back; he was reaching out to grab Peter's hand to bring him some comfort and make him know he was not alone before he thought better and ended up resting his hand on Peter's lower back for reassurance, sometimes getting your hand held in the middle of a place you don't like can make you feel a bit caged instead of safe. Peter gifted him with a small smile, a bit bitter at the edges but still pretty sweet, and then opened the door.

Parker managed to see it for a second, the drained expression in May’s face, he had only seen it a few times before in his life: when he first started being Spider-man and returned home each day with a new bruise, and when uncle Ben had died.

She looked older this time.

It didn’t last long though, as soon as May turned her head and saw them she smiled the brightest of her smiles, made him doubt himself for a second, made him think hard whether he had truly seen that tired look on her or if he’d just imagined it. But he knew May sometimes fooled him into thinking things were ok, he recognized that ability since he also mastered it. A loving arm was stretched towards him and he moved forwards to grab hold of it with as much tenderness as he could manage, she had some bruises from the fall she had taken when fainting.

“Hey…” – His aunt looked at him sadly and it took him a while to notice it was because of how panicked his expression probably was. – “I’m fine Peter. These things happen at my age.”

Peter nodded at her, he was a smart boy, he knew that any person had to go through this process while aging, it was just that to him aunt May wasn’t _any person_ and so it seemed unfair to see her walking down the same path as everyone else, specially so alone. He tried to reply but all he managed was a strangled noise so he nodded instead, May’s wrinkled fingers moved to caress his arm sweetly and Peter knew that what she needed right now was for him to look at her and smile but as brave as he was against mutated villains, when it came to people close to him getting hurt he wanted to crawl away from existence. So he moved his eyes away from her hands on his arms to look at the table, then he saw the syringe resting on top it and felt as if his stomach was turning around inside of his body, he gazed at his boyfriend instead.

Wade looked helpless and out of place, his brows furrowed in concentration and his eyes a bit lost. All Peter could think about that was – ‘ _Damn, he must be having a hell of a conversation going on_.’- And Peter wondered about that in the same way he wondered about what dogs dreamt about. He sometimes wished he had a device to hear what was going on in Wade’s head. May must’ve noticed Wade looking out of place too, since she let go of Peter with one hand and signed for him to come closer, gripping his hand as well. Deadpool flinched a bit at the contact, unused to having somebody other than Peter touching him so freely as if he wasn’t radioactive or contagious.

“Hello, Wade. I’ll need you to cook me some of your delicious pizza to gain strength after I get out of here.”

Peter wasn’t sure whether that was the best or the worst thing she could’ve said to the mercenary, who made a high pitched noise with his throat at the comment, as if the lump that had formed in it prevented him from saying anything else, but then Wade smiled at her and thank god for his wonderful boyfriend because that’s exactly what May needed and Peter hadn’t been able to give to her. –“There’s actually some leftover pizza from tonight at home, I’m sure I can smuggle a slice or two when the nurses aren’t looking.” – And just like that, the tension in the room dissipated, turning into a low hum at the back of everyone’s head. They were able to go back to talking normally. Well… as normally as any conversation that included Wade could be anyway. – “Why do you think superman carries his suit underneath his clothes? Doesn’t he have superhuman speed? Can’t he just go and change into his suit like the flash?”

Peter looked at him, shaking his head. – “Who IS superman?”

Wade made a horrified noise at that, then suddenly calmed down. – “Right, Superman ain’t from this multiverse. Copyright issues.”

Parker made a ‘ _what the hell’_ expression at him, May simply laughed and continued to hold both their hands, as if they were little children about to cross a road.

Overall, the visit went well, May would remain in bed until she was stabilized and after promising the nurses she’d drink plenty water from now on, since the doctor had insisted that the problem had been dehydration. Peter sent a quick text to MJ, thanking her for bringing May to the hospital, that she was fine now, and telling her they should see each other someday. He got an instant reply. – ‘ _Anything for the amazing aunt May. Call me when you can meet! And introduce me to your mysterious “friend” ;) ;)  May told me more about him than u have and I will not have that_.’

Peter turned to look at Wade, whose hands were moving frantically as he asked the nurses what should he do to help May get better. The nurses had no reaction whatsoever to Wade’s scars though they did seem alarmed by how fast he managed to talk, it made Peter chuckle. He thought Wade would’ve panicked at the sight of the hospital or even when seeing May so weak, but instead he had taken everything better than Peter, which was quite impressive considering the merc with a mouth had got a bit attached to May after she had thanked him for looking after Peter during their time as hostages.

 

\---

 

“We should give aunt May one of the apples.” – Wade dropped the bomb casually after they arrived home and stumbled to the bed, as if he had been talking about apples you could get in a supermarket instead of the golden apple of immortality he had bribed out from the god of lies and for which he had been killing zombies in the underworld for over a month.

And that was it.

That was why, THAT WAS WHY. The reason why Wade had been so calm about everything that had happened with May.

“… You are talking about, a regular apple? Because an apple a day keeps the doctors away?” – Peter mumbled against his pillow and please, he just wanted to sleep, please _, please_ let Wade say yes.

“Well, I was talking about the apple that’d keep the doctors away forever.”

Peter groaned. Honestly, Wade got a bit turned on when hearing him being so noisy in bed but he knew Peter was drained, which was kind of why he had brought the subject of the golden apple casually, hoping a half asleep was a pliant Peter, but no luck. Peter was doing a great job being a little spoon until he turned around to look at the mercenary through lidded eyes. - “You are NOT giving aunt May a golden apple.”- Wade pouted at him, unsatisfied and confused, and Parker really got the feeling that if he didn’t convince Wade thoroughly the man was going to feed May the damned apple anyway, and evidently the god of chaos was laughing wherever he was, because giving Wade a key to feed immortality into others was like giving a kid fireworks and then leaving them unattended. So he took a deep sigh and accepted the fact he’d have bags under his eyes tomorrow. - "Listen, May’s old already, you are condemning her to be old for centuries, you realize that?”

Deadpool squinted his eyes at the excuse, still unsure. – “Odin seems to be doing fine and he’s also old from what Thor says.”

And Peter was simply too sleepy to have his brain to mouth filter activated so when he said: “Yeah, well, from what Thor says Odin’s a dick.” – He hoped Odin was not omniscient, because he was pretty sure compared to Peter the god was omnipotent at least and he really didn’t want to die today.  He waited for a few seconds and he wasn’t instantly evaporated where he lay, which considering how still Wade went it was something both of them were waiting for. So he continued. – “May wants to be together with my uncle, Wade. He, well, he was killed way back when I was still getting the hang of my powers and she never really got to say goodbye to him. You saw her today, she seems pretty tired, she doesn’t want to live forever.”

Wade nodded, his eyes widening for a second when hearing about Peter’s uncle being killed. He always expected a tragic backstory to be the reason a hero or a villain was born but he had sort-of-never sat to think about what Peter’s tragic story might have been. The voices were pretty silent too, as if sensing the conversation was too intimate for them for once, and they even spoke during sex. – “I’m sorry.”

Peter smiled and leant forward, kissing Wade’s forehead and then nuzzling against his neck, happy to see Wade convinced that a mortal May was a happy May. – “It’s ok, it was a while ago. I’ll tell you about that some other day.”

Wade burrowed his face against Peter’s hair, smelling the fresh fragrance the shampoo left on it and encircling his waist with a hand, pushing them closer together. The conversation had persuaded Wade not to give May the apple, but it almost made him envious, the fact she could die and be reunited with the love of her life or simply cease to exist, whichever of the two it was; all he could do was close his eyes and hug Peter a bit tighter, trying to carve the memory of how Peter’s body felt next to him onto his brain and hoping to find a way to convince his boyfriend that an eternity next to him was worth something.


	14. Chapter 14

 

Wade had been asking around. He tried to be subtle about it but only as subtle as Deadpool could manage to be, which sometimes wasn’t enough.

 

Wolverine had suggested for him to fuck off, which he wrote down at first but then scratched, he had to do this. It took some convincing and explaining Logan that ‘ _it doesn’t only have to be romantic suggestions, I know you feel like your masculinity is being threatened when talking about feelings, bro._ ’ -which seemed to work like a charm because after five minutes of outdated and unoriginal insults he was actually receiving feedback from the x-man. Really, it was all worth it to hear the hot tempered man mumbling something out of a crappy gossip magazine like: “give him space, cook breakfast for him and take it to the bed, give him the best fuck he has had in his life. Wade, I know you have my regeneration genes and while it is something I wish I did not know about you, you probably have the ability to get your dick hard faster than…” – Ok, maybe that last one couldn’t be found in a gossip magazine. Maybe? He didn’t really read the articles very often he just looked at the pictures and drew moustaches on the models, if they did include tips like those he might start reading them more often though.

 

Next was MJ. He had never seen or talked to Peter’s friend but Parker had talked about her plenty times and she kind of felt like that neighbor you never see but that waters your front yard when you forget and takes care of your cat when you are away. Also, Parker talked about her like she could shit rainbows, which admittedly made him a bit jealous because he was at least 80% sure Pete had dated her some time and no matter what prismatic diet Wade ingested he did not achieve multicolored levels of shitting. So, he did not know her _but_ Wade had his means, and by means he meant her number, which he stole from his boyfriend’s phone while he was sleeping; it wasn’t easy, the Starkphone had fingerprint recognition which meant he had to creep the device onto Peter’s hand while covering the screen so that when it lit up it didn’t fucking wake up everybody in the building, which tends to happen when a phone is turned on in the middle of the night. It was one of Wade’s theories as to why Daredevil was blind: he checked the time in his phone screen at midnight and he had it at 100% brightness.

Then he texted: “ _Yo, dis Wade, Pete’s very VERY close friend. He doesn’t know I got your phone number btw, let’s say he mumbled it while he was sleeping. Have u got any clue which Petey’s fav wine is?_ “

He got an instant reply: “ _THE Wade? Why? What are u planning? A surprise romantic date?!! He pretends to like wine to look fancy but he likes drinks that are high on sugar much more, I’d also warn u that he likes to dip fries in milkshakes_.”

No shit. That fact still haunted him. – “ _Thx, ya, surprise romantic date. Sort of_.” - A few hours later he realized his mistake. MJ could text, she could text damn fast and nonstop, MJ could text while walking, while eating, while shitting rainbows, she was darn cute and sometimes she’d send more tips for his dates with Peter but the mercenary wondered if it was worth so much pain.

At some point Peter must have caught on with who was sending him seventy messages per day, a groan from Wade accompanying the cellphone tune each time, since he grinned cheekily. - “That’s what you get for snooping around my contacts list.” – But Spider-man was a merciful being and must’ve told MJ to tone it down, since the amount of messages was reduced significantly and she’d slip in some pictures of Peter during high school as an apology, when noticing Wade lost it after receiving the first one.

 

The following one in the list was a tough one to interview, especially since the last time Wade had visited her it was to help her get safely home from her stay at the hospital. One of the best things about May was that Deadpool could arrive at her door with no previous invitation and she would still receive him with open arms and a mug filled with hot chocolate. It still impressed him to find someone else besides Peter that made him feel so much at home, go figure it was going to be somebody that shared his bloodline. Deadpool wanted to find out if there were more family members and collect them, gotta catch them all, Parker-món.

By now, May had gotten used to Wade’s unstoppable chattering even during bad days when it was particularly nonsensical. Deadpool thought that aunt May was the most adaptable person he had met and had an intense desire to drop an alligator on her kitchen floor just to see if after 2 minutes of screaming she would end up feeding the animal some leftovers and welcoming it as a family pet but Peter would never ever talk to him again if he did so, then he had to remain satisfied with that one time in which he had dropped an alligator on Blind Al’s kitchen floor. Ah, good old times.

So there he was, Wade Wilson, half a slice of pie stuffed in his mouth, aunt May sitting across from him knitting some ugly looking sweater. It took a few more bites of pie for him to gather the courage to speak up. – “So… Auntie May. Want to play some truth or dare?”

May rolled her eyes at him, last week they had played ‘I spy’ for long enough to last a lifetime. – “I’m too old for that game, boy.”

Deadpool had been expecting that answer, so he pointed at her with the fork. – “Which is exactly why I know you’ll pick truth.” – He waited until May patiently placed her pair of knitting glasses on the table to look at him.

“Oh, why bother? You will end up asking anyway. As insistent as my nephew, quite a pair, you two.”

The mercenary shot her an innocent smile, swallowing the last bit of pie with some struggle. – “Hypothetically speaking. If you had the means to make your nephew live forever, would you?” – ‘ _Smooth, Wilson. She obviously has no clue what your plan is now, most certainly it wouldn’t have anything to do with making her nephew live forever_ ’. May remained silent a bit too long for Wade’s nerves, his voices shouting at him so loud he wouldn’t have been able to hear a grenade exploding next to him. She seemed to be looking for something in Wade’s eyes but it was undoubtedly hard to see past all the crazy.

“I would if he told me he wanted to.”

“Well, how would you… persuade him to? I mean this is a nephew-for-a-lifetime guarantee we’re talking about. ”

May hummed. – “It is your turn. Truth or dare?”

Wade groaned. Old people, one would think they had a longer lifespan with how much time they wasted. He rested his chin on the table, arms limp by his sides and his back hunched as if the table was holding all of his weight. After thinking it through he chose the option that’d make things go faster. – “Truth.”

“Would you let Peter die if that is what he wishes?”

Fucking hell, the old lady knew how to stab a person, Wade would keep his katanas five feet away from her from now on. – “Changed my mind! Dare!"

“Fine, I dare you to tell me whether you’d let Peter die if that is what he wishes.”

“No way! That’s cheating! You’re pushing me into a truth-truth situation here!”

May smiled at him, a childish smile that made her look younger. – “If you dared me to do as little as run half a block in less than a minute I wouldn’t be able to do so, Wade, I’ve agreed to play knowing it was going to be a truth-truth situation for me, seems only fair to put you in such a circumstance as well.”

The mercenary pouted, the knack for justice seemed to run in the family. – “All right! You win. It’d cost me my shattered mental health, but I would. I’d move back to Canada to pretend he didn’t die, cry myself to sleep every night. That what you want?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want. Or what you want. I’m sorry.”

It would have sounded mean, if it weren’t for the sadness in May’s voice and the way she extended her hand over the table to awkwardly pat his head like a dog, she might have caressed his hair lovingly but there was an evident lack of hair going on when it came to Wade. When the touch did not work to cheer Wade up she pinched his cheek like old grandmas do, and that seemed to work better since the man laughed fondly at the gesture. He caught her hand in his, staring at it for a while, her wrinkly skin against his scarred one. – “What do I do, May?”

“You seem to be doing a good job, sweetie. He came up to me about two weeks ago, asking me what would I think if, _hypothetically speaking,_ he had the means to immortality.”

Wade’s heart trembled a bit at that, the proof that Peter was considering this. The mercenary thought that Petey had been avoiding the subject altogether but evidently he had been wrong since Peter usually went through fifty stages of meditation before reaching the –ask May- point. It was impressive how May didn’t even ask how the hell Wade had gotten his hands on an antidote for mortality, she must’ve also figured out that Wade could not die either or else the proposal wouldn’t make sense. He guessed that when living in a city where alien invasions occur daily it is hard to be surprised. Once again, Wade found himself wondering how would May react to finding an alligator in her kitchen if she was not baffled by this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. This was a short chapter, sorry about that.  
> We are walking fluff territory by now, which is bizarre because of how much violence this fic started with.  
> I want to thank everyone for the love this fic is getting, I received about 50 kudos last week _alone_ , that's definitely an achievement if I ever saw one. Kind of feels like it's one person getting fake accounts at times because I can't even imagine such a large amount of people cheering for something I wrote. The comments have been wonderful too and some of you have even taken the time to read my other fic which is kind of embarrassing but feels like an honor. Thank you all so much <3 you're very inspiring.


	15. Chapter 15

Surprisingly, it was the first day in a l _ong_ time since he had not needed to fight anything other than petty criminals, it was still hard but not because they were tough to bring down but because they wouldn’t let him rest about the panic attack he’d had that day against Rhino, he owed the Daily Bugle for making that known: “ _Unstable hero is a menace to society_.” – And all that. Absolutely no hero judged him, the only behavior that proved they knew about it was how some of them asked if he wanted a break, reminding him that they had him covered if he did so. But he had rested already and he wanted to get it all over with, soon it would be just another _phase_ he had gone through, like that time when Doc Ock took control of his body, fun times.

His phone buzzed. Wade had changed his tone to a cropped ‘ _Sugar pie honey bunch, you know that I love you!’_ line from the Four Tops song and Peter couldn’t bring himself to change it, no matter how terrible it was when it sounded in the middle of his confrontations as Spider-man. He took it off his hidden pocket to read the message.

“ _Did your laptop mean a lot to u? :/_ ”

Oh boy, if Peter came back home to find his laptop crushed he was going to find a way to kill Wade _permanently_. He didn’t bother to reply, knowing himself he wouldn’t be able to rest until checking the state of his laptop with his own eyes, his own… tear filled eyes. Placing the phone back in the pocket and zipping it up, he readied the web shooters to swing his way home.

He had to admit, being worried about Wade and whatever the man did helped a lot when you were trying to forget that ten minutes ago a criminal had compared you, as a ‘super powered traumatized hero’, to a toddler with a gun (bet this man read the Daily Bugle), which was kind of a stupid thing to do when you are a criminal and you _are_ carrying a gun, the witty comeback was kind of obvious. “Joke’s on them! All heroes are traumatized, go read the comics, fake geeks!” -  Was what Deadpool had said when he managed to get Peter to tell him the reason as to why he was feeling so down after a particularly hurtful comment he had received a few days ago. Wade was an expert at dealing with these situations, he said exactly what Peter needed to hear to lift his mood and prevent it from being brought down as easily next time, reciting the tips from memory and personal experience.

He got back home through the window, his fingers expertly sticking to the glass from the outside and lifting it up. The first thing he noticed was the strong citric smell, the second thing was the table setting. Apparently they were celebrating something, since like an old grandma during the holidays, Wade had taken out the fanciest tablecloth from the drawers and some beautiful silverware and wine glasses that Peter had no idea up until now that they owned. Wade himself was wearing his Deadpool suit with a suit jacket and a bowtie, his mask hanging from the back the chair he was sitting on like a discarded scarf.

It still surprised him, how easily Wade made it look sometimes, showing his scars. Whenever they were sharing the couch and Deadpool decided to take off his mask, his heart beat faster and he kept his eyes closed for a few seconds, presumably expecting to open his eyes to find Peter looking at him with disgust. Peter always made sure to smile softly afterwards or give him a quick peck on the lips, like giving a treat to a dog whenever they did something right so they’d be more confident the next time they carried out the same trick. Pavlov would have thrown a fucking party if he had met them.

Slowly, Spider-man got closer to the table, halting when he was inches away from his lover. - “What is going on?”

Wade used his foot under the table to push the other chair back, signaling Peter to sit on it by extending his arm dramatically, wiggling his fingers for dramatic emphasis. – “I thought it was time for our second date.”

It sounded a little ridiculous after having gone through so much together and being together for months but they did not tend to surround themselves in a specifically romantic mood and the only time they had tried something of a sort Wade had been shot. This was indeed just their second date, it made things to Peter’s heart.

The boy sat on the offered chair and took off his mask, mirroring Deadpool and hanging it on the back of his seat. The sweet spicy smell of citric was relaxing. – “What are you making?” – The foot that Wade had used to push his chair had barely moved, resting in between Peter’s ankles casually.

“Something with chicken and oranges, May’s recipe!” – Deadpool stood suddenly, remembering he actually had to get the food out from the oven before he burnt the whole thing. That’d be just awesome, first date: shot, second date: set the building on fire. The chicken looked good, copper and crispy on the outside, he had called aunt May about seven times while he was cooking it and she had probably disconnected the phone by now.

Peter stared at Wade’s butt while he checked the food, after all this time Peter still could not figure out when Wade was showing off his attributes on purpose and when he wasn’t. – “Why are you in costume? Just got back from hell? ” – He poured some juice in his wine glass, because of course there was no wine, Wade apparently knew he preferred artificially flavored juices over wine but had insisted in the classy glasses. Damn, there were even candles on the table.

Wade snorted at the question, it wasn’t every day that you could make such a question be so literal. – “Becaaaause you’d be in costume when you came back. I didn’t want to wait for you to get changed in order to look more decent and also we have not fucked in costume yet.”

Peter spat half of the juice he had drank, the other half almost came out from his nose. – “What? What did you just say?”

Wade blinked his eyes rapidly, feigning innocence as he brought the food to the table, serving Peter almost half of the chicken. Deadpool had no sense of quantity whatsoever, Parker had learnt this the hard way when he had asked the man to ‘pour some rice in the boiling water’ only to spend two weeks eating leftover rice afterwards. Spider-man’s intestines cringed at the memory.

“Why? What did you hear? It might be a desire you have at a subconscious level.” - He wiggled his hairless eyebrows and Peter chuckled because only Deadpool had such a complex technique to pass a fetish on and then make you feel ashamed for it in less than a minute.

The food tasted like heaven, it was a bit burnt underneath but each bite proved that the dish was one that required lots of attention and patience, two things Wade did _not_ have; thinking about how much effort and love was put into it made Peter’s chest feel tight and trying to eat while you smile was not as easy as one would think.  

The night outside was still and all that Peter could hear was the very faint noise of background music that Wade had set, they were mostly cheesy pop songs from another decade but thankfully the volume was dimmed enough that it was barely noticeable, though he was so used to Wade’s wacky taste and lack of capability to know what was the normal thing to do or say in most situations that he was immune by now. He would start worrying about that the day he gets a hard on while watching golden girls, since Wade became very affectionate when Peter agreed to watch the damn thing with him. They would continue to honor Pavlov’s memory and it was not every day that a dead guy could be honored with an erection. 

Wade was chattering and he didn’t seem to mind Peter’s insufficient participation, one of the benefits that came with having internal voices inside your head: never noticing when you were having a one-sided conversation. They had finished eating a while ago and Deadpool was making bitter comments about how things that took longer to make took so little to consume, though he slowed down his verbal rambling when Peter took his hand over the table. It was corny and cliché but judging by the way Wade held Peter’s back, squeezing a little, they both enjoyed it.

“And don’t you ever find yourself watching the food network channel without noticing? You look at the time and you’ve been watching a woman mixing food in a bowl for fifty minutes and you’ll never make the shit she is cooking, you know this deep in your heart, but you still keep watching.” – Wade absentmindedly rubbed his scarred thumb against Peter’s as he spoke, his other hand gesturing along as he continued his theory on the food network brainwashing system. Parker was having an intense urge to snatch him by the bowtie to kiss him but instead he waited until the mercenary stopped talking for a second to breathe to take the opportunity to say something.  

“I love you.” – He said it firmly and loud but when Wade remained silent and stared at him with pain in his eyes Peter started wondering whether he had whispered it, for some reason. Taking a deep breath he said it again, just to be sure. – “Wade, I love you.” – He remembered that last time, the only time he had used the L word, Wade had brought up the fact one of them was immortal.

The mercenary tightened his grip on Peter’s hand, looking directly into his eyes for a long time, then looking away while he blurted out – “Yeah. Yeah, I love you too.” – His voice raspy as if his throat was dry.

It was unfair how tiny Wade managed to make himself look, hunching his shoulders and lowering his head as if the room was shrinking and the ceiling had started confining him. That was the first time in a _long_ time he had told someone about his feelings without making a joke out of it and the voices were panicking in his head but Peter was smiling at him as if being loved by Wade Wilson was the greatest achievement. Impressively low standards, worthy of a person who dipped their fries in milkshake. Before he could spill his guts out loud as a coping mechanism for being overwhelmed with embarrassment and lack of experience in standard romantic situations, Peter had aimed his free hand at his chest, shooting a web and pulling, lifting Wade off the chair and over the table to kiss him hard, the rough movement accompanied with the contrasting sweet feel of their linked hands. Wade was stunned still, only managing to stupidly blurt out - “Uh…” – Once Peter freed him.

“Thanks for the date, Wade. It was perfect.” – He had only moved an inch back, holding Deadpool in place by the webbing, and each word he said floated in the air between them in warm citric flavored breaths. – “I’m also glad you didn’t really break my laptop.”

“Oh, about that…”- Wade cleared his throat, looking anywhere but Peter’s face, which was remarkable considering how close they were. – “That… might be true? I mean, it fell from the table, one would guess that being the year it is they would be more resistant, it’s not like the table is THAT tall.”

Parker clutched the web a bit tighter, grinding his teeth and closing his eyes in a failed attempt to relax while Wade kept talking.

“I’ll buy you ten more! Twenty? With… fancy keyboard lights and custom skin? Spider-man themed. Too obvious? Deadpool themed?” – He pouted, puffing his cheeks like a chipmunk, a very stupid looking one. Then leant closer to Peter’s ear. – “or you could punish me.” – His voice like a purr, it somehow felt like someone else had said it, as though one of the voices in Wade’s head had managed to take control of his motor skills to speak out loud.

Peter opened his eyes wide, Deadpool wasn’t looking apologetic. - “Damn it, Wade! Fine, you’ll get me another one.” – He let go of the web and had to get a grip on Wade’s shoulders before the man fell backwards. After thinking a bit, he mumbled. – “… Deadpool themed.”  - The mercenary’s eyes lit like a Christmas tree and Peter cursed, Wade made him weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is by now just downright corny.  
> But well, the idea of this fic was to make them suffer and then work their way to being better through constant mutual support at a believable rate instead of -as soon as he said he loved me everything bad went away.- and I think I got that covered, at least.  
> Thank you everyone for the love, as always. To the ones that always pop up when I add a new chapter to share their opinions and the shy people that say nothing but take their time to leave kudos or bookmark <3  
> Next chapter contains explicit content and then I'll start closing up for a nice ending. I still got another fic ready to go, don't worry.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for **sex in this chapter**!!  
>  Remember that you can skip explicit chapters if you please, they don't affect the story.

It was a small trip to the bedroom from the dining room. Spider-man had clung to Wade’s waist with his legs the few steps that it took and put his arms around muscled shoulders, hands lazily hanging on his lover’s back and drawing small circles on it, the suit jacket long gone and forgotten on the floor. Wade held on to Peter’s ass with both hands and lifted him up a bit more to kiss his jaw and nuzzle his neck, their suits clinging uncomfortably against each other’s like two pieces of rubber, making their movements awkward and filling the air with ridiculous squishy noises that made them both snort.

Wade was pouting against Peter’s neck when he spoke. – “Guess the suits _will_ have to go after all. I’m ditching spandex, this wouldn’t happen with leather.” – Peter choked halfway through his laugh. – “Mh, I’m calling you kinky Parker from now on.”

Peter was already reaching for Wade’s hidden zipper when he sighed dramatically. – “It’s you, you corrupted me. And here I was, all innocent, I didn’t even know what the word sex meant. Thought it was a fruit.” – The zipper went down easily and by the time Peter had started peeling the suit off from Wade they had managed to get close enough to the bed that Deadpool was able to throw him on it.

Wade hurriedly got out of his suit and boots until all he was wearing was the bowtie, he had not been wearing underwear. – “Oh, sweet cheeks, I can teach you what sex means all over again.” – ‘ _Pretty sure we’ve heard that once in a porno_.’ – But Peter was laughing, his face flushed while giving him that look again, like Wade was the best thing that had happened to him. Deadpool didn’t know what to do with that so he leant down to kiss him, absentmindedly reaching for Peter’s bent legs and stripping off the footwear, clinging to his ankle when the kiss got too heated and his lover started to tenderly bite him, Wade’s lips burning at the pressure. Wade folded his arms until he was bracketing Peter in between them and lowered himself down to continue the kiss until his dick brushed against the spider-man suit and his thighs started shaking, a low groan escaping him as he hid his face on the crook of Peter’s neck.

Parker took the opportunity to switch their positions, straddling Wade in between his legs and straightening his back as he looked down at the mercenary through his eyelashes. He knew Deadpool wasn’t fond of being stared at but Peter couldn’t help it. Wade was glowing, his mouth slightly open to let in big puffs of air out and eyelids fluttering as if keeping his eyes open was a task that required effort. Peter let a hand rest on Wade’s chest and moved it torturously slowly through an invisible path that lead to the neck, pushing his fingers under the bowtie and feeling the quickened heartbeats against them. – “You look so good.” – The hunger laced between his words was evident and it made Wade swallow thickly, close his mouth and breathe hard through his nose.  

The voices inside Deadpool’s head were yowling like wolves and the fact not even his internal dialogue could be something other than senseless noises of commotion spoke volumes about Peter’s seduction, it wasn’t everyday that the voices were left speechless. After a quick peck on the lips, Spider-man lifted himself off the bed and muttered something under his breath, heading for the bathroom in such a hurry he was practically running and returning after a while with lube, condoms and no suit. Wade allowed his head fall back down on the bed after peeking and let out a long high pitched noise when noticing that last part. – “Peter…” – That’s what it took for him to drop the pet names. Not a second after he felt wet kisses on his inner thigh, they were sloppy and cruel because they left Wade greedy and wanting, his hands opening and closing, reaching for Peter’s hair.

Parker smiled against the scarred hot skin when he felt his hair being pulled and he lifted his head enough look at Deadpool before blowing hot air against his dick. He could tell by the way the grip got tighter and the body underneath him going tense that Wade was making an effort not to pull him down by the hair towards himself. Peter could feel his body temperature raising higher and his head felt remarkably light and clouded, which was the reason why he ended up saying: “You should fuck me.” – Out loud, his brain to mouth filter failing him until he wasn’t sweet coating his words anymore. He teasingly licked from the base to the tip of Wade’s cock as if to get his point across physically. – “Wade… I want you inside me.” - Being so bold paid off since he could feel Wade trembling against him, shaking in anticipation and looking at Peter with pupils blown wide.

Deadpool was afraid of the noise that would escape him if he attempted to talk right now, so he hoped that the enthusiastic nod would suffice. It seemed to work since he heard a plastic being ripped. He couldn’t tell for sure because his heart was beating pretty hard at the moment, resonating loud in his ears, and all he could see was Peter’s messy hair while the man nibbled and sucked his neck like it was made of candy. Then he felt a hand circling his shaft as Peter put the condom on him and damn it. If the idea of his boyfriend preparing him to get himself fucked wasn’t enough to blow Wade’s mind then the feeling of it happening was certainly going to make it.  The voices in his head were speaking loud over each other resulting in something incomprehensible, so before they could have any input on what the hell he was doing and how Parker’s ass was too good for him, he was yanking the bottle of lube from Peter’s hand and placing an arm around his waist, guiding him into a new position. – “This way should be easier.” - Wade explained, as Peter got the hint and rested his elbows and knees on the sheets, Wade towering over him from behind.

A few seconds went by in which nothing happened and if his boyfriend was having second thoughts once again Peter was going to handcuff Wade to the outside of an helicopter and send it all the way to Europe. But Wade placed a hand gently on his lower back and then with a lubed finger he started massaging his way in, it didn’t feel cold so probably that’s what had taken some time. He blew hot air on Peter’s back and then kissed a line between the shoulder blades when he got a shudder in response.

Wade leant down, hovering over Peter and surrounding him with his body. He kissed his neck and added another finger, slowly and teasing, doing his best to make his lover feel relaxed and learn what he enjoyed. - “You are doing so well, you are perfect. Just let me see if I can…” –His efforts were rewarded with a long moan as Peter dropped his head to hide his face, neck flushed and hot under Wade’s lips. – “Ah! Found it!!” – The mercenary grinned, resting his chin on Peter’s shoulder as he tried to pry at Peter’s face that was pressed so hard against a cushion it looked suffocating. – “Mh… you know, if I didn’t know better I’d think you are cheating on me with the pillow.”

“Shut up… Idiot” – Parker turned his head around a bit to look at Wade, the man was so close Peter could pinpoint each splatter of color in his eyes and he would’ve kept staring if it weren’t for the way he was being enthusiastically stretched  open. Instead he closed his eyes and tried to hide his face again when Wade decided he was ready for a third finger, but before he could suppress his loud jagged breaths with the squashed pillow he was being kissed silent. Mostly. A whimper or two might’ve escaped him.

When Peter started feeling needy he pushed back, Wade gladly obliged and pressed his fingers in deeper as he sucked Peter’s lips until they were numb and swollen. It was driving them both crazy. – “Wade,” – Parker took a deep breath through his nose, turning his head the other way; it managed to make his boyfriend stop kissing his lips only to start kissing the nape of his neck. – “If you don’t -” – As if the hot wet kisses on his neck weren’t enough, Wade twisted his fingers. It was hard to think, let alone speak, when he was being interrupted that way, distracting to say the least. – “I don’t want to come like this, not with… just this.”

Wade was barely registering what was being said, it was the voices that brought it to his attention. – ‘ _Ha! Just this, he says. At least he has three fingers up his ass, we are about to burst just from watching him._ ’ – He looked at Peter, who was blushed and had his hair disheveled, and kissed his neck one more time, a soft peck, before grabbing himself by the shaft with a trembling hand and finally pushing inside slowly. Very. Slowly. Torturously so. Peter was warm, soft and thanks to Wade’s handiwork, slippery. He might’ve gone overboard with the lube judging by the wet noises that reached his ears but neither of them minded, it meant Wade could slide into Peter as if he belonged there. – ‘ _Hey, why not? Might as well set camp, this is ours from now on._ ’

Peter could tell Wade was thinking too much, he could tell because the pair of hands that were currently pressed around his waist were holding on for dear life and because the pace the mercenary had set was so slow that if you blinked rapidly they might as well have been statues. – “Wade?!”- That’s it. All the warning Wade was getting before Peter arched his back and pushed against him, some of his enhanced strength and flexibility surfaced with the action and the sudden burning feeling of hurt and raw pleasure had himself moaning in appreciation.

Wade, on the other hand, bent over Peter twice as much as he already was and shuddered. Parker heard a sharp intake of breath by his ear and when Wade spoke his voice sounded wrecked. – “Holy fuck, Petey.” – He pushed back out and in again, carefully at first but abandoning all sense of concern when Peter started meeting him halfway. Deadpool moved his hands from Peter’s waist to his ass, gleefully pressing them against the sweaty skin as he leant back to get a better look at how good Spider-man’s ass looked while being thoroughly fucked; when he used his nails to paint a faint pink trail on it Peter tightened around him and got a hand around his own dick, lazily moving it in an uncoordinated up and down gesture.

Deadpool could tell this was going to be unforgettable and they weren’t even done yet. There was something that elicited a deep feeling of lust within himself and he was pretty certain it had to do with his affection towards Peter. And fine, being allowed to get a hold on Peter’s ass after years of long distance admiration helped too, he was going to relive the instant his dick touched the Spider-man suit forever.

Peter lifted himself up, putting his chest away from the bed with his free hand, his knees digging deep on the sheets. He felt how he wasn’t going to last much longer so he turned his head and looked at Wade over his shoulder. The mercenary was gleaming with sweat, he looked frantic and his eyes were unfocused for a while until he noticed he was being stared at, then he leant down to nuzzle the back of Peter’s neck and kiss the space between his shoulder blades once again. Peter didn’t realize he was about to come until his vision became blurry and his muscles shook. It felt good, especially when Wade pointedly aimed for his prostate mercilessly. When he couldn’t hold himself up any longer he languidly fell on the bed, letting out a ridiculous whimper as he felt Wade moving away to stroke himself a couple of times before falling on the bed next to Peter with a moan and an exhale that were pornographic, he even arched his back. Peter would’ve laughed if the noises hadn’t made his spent dick twitch.

The condom came off easily and Deadpool tied it up and held it for a while before collecting enough energy to stand up from the bed. – “Imagine ending a water balloon fight with this.”

Peter turned around until he was sideways and covered his eyes with his forearm, groaning. The bed sheet was wet and it stuck to his skin but he wasn’t in the mood to do something about that yet. – “Wade, throw that thing off, seriously.”- He waited a few seconds and added. – “In the trash, not through the window.”

Wade snapped his fingers. Damn it, Petey knew him too well. Sometimes it felt like he was dating Jean Grey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more weeks and this story is complete! I'm kind of sad about that.  
> Thank you everyone for your kind words and support <3


	17. Chapter 17

So his boyfriend was away for _work_ , Wade enjoyed slaying zombies a tad too much and it seemed unfair to consider it such a thing because sure, he was getting paid. He was getting paid a LOT. He even got called on his cellphone whenever he had to go to hell (still felt weird to say that) and he sort of wore a uniform, albeit one with guns and katanas, so it _was_ work; but it felt like a hobby, the way he talked about it as if it were a comic convention he went to daily. Peter was thankful those were zombies that were getting cut in half and not living people, glad that Hela was the one supplying the money and not a mafia boss and it kind of blew his mind that his boyfriend had been smart and persistent enough to find a way to keep his job violent and keep Peter content too. Wade had confessed a few times that he missed some faces and going to Hellhouse, a bar that had to be rebuilt twice a year because the clientele had more weapons than teeth, but he liked the Valkyries and they liked him, judging by the swords and weird bulletproof metallic skirts that he always came home with. In exchange for the gifts Wade studied all of their names and avoided calling them just ‘hey’ and ‘you’. He tried calling one ‘sweetheart’ once and he came back home grinning and with a fainting black eye. Still, Peter could tell that it was a change and that changes were not easy for Wade, yet the man remained firm and denied any job offer as a killer for hire no matter how hard his old friends and customers tried to convince him. It kind of made Peter feel guilty, which was ridiculous because Wade used to be a mercenary, not a freaking ice cream truck driver.

 

Parker turned around, he had been lying on the couch and staring at the ceiling for an absurd amount of time now, originally planning to take a nap with the radio dimly playing the news report in case somebody needed Spider-man. He had already handed in an envelope full of pictures of the avengers at the Daily Bugle and while it had not earned him a ‘good job, Parker’ or some very deserved paid holidays to the Caribbean, it had earned him a free afternoon. Yay for mediocre rewards.

He was warm and safe and he should have been feeling relaxed but instead he had been torturing himself with thoughts for at least an hour, those damned golden apples were on top of the fridge because Wade kept moving them from one place to another trying to see if Peter would accidentally eat one someday or maybe a rat would, honestly finding an immortal rat in New York wouldn’t be surprising by now. So he curled himself deeper into the couch cushions and rubbed at the scar on his wrist as he reflected on how much Wade had sacrificed for him and how little Peter had scarified for Wade, depressing.

Anybody else would’ve said that Peter had to put up with Wade’s mental instability and horrible sense of humor but anybody else was _wrong_. As much as Wade talked to himself, scratched at his skin until it was raw, spent days with no sleep because he was afraid of what he saw when he closed his eyes and –last but not least- had a horrible repertoire of jokes and bad puns that he repeated at least three times on the same day if somebody dared laugh; Peter had his own issues to figure out and most of them he shared with Wade. _Surviving_ sort of did that to you. Either way Peter loved Wade any day. If he had been capable of holding Deadpool’s dead body to his chest until it slowly regenerated, crying and begging to feel a pulse or a breath from him, he could handle a shattered Wade Wilson. If Wade had cuddled with Peter and used himself as a warming blanket in those days when they had to sleep on the concrete floor, those days when Wade didn’t even know yet that Peter was Spider-man, then Peter could handle a hectic Wade Wilson.  They weren’t flaws. Wade’s flaws were not replacing the toilet paper when it run out and cleaning his hands with the tablecloth after eating Cheetos; the voices, the nightmares, they were a consequence. Fine, the bad puns _might_ be a flaw sometimes, the man did have bad timing for them.

So no. Contrary to popular belief, the issue Peter had with the apples had nothing to do with spending an eternity with Wade.

How would he explain to people his never ending youth? He would have to switch jobs, change his appearance or swap neighborhoods, his identity as Peter Parker becoming as much of a burden as the Spider-man one; what would he do- when he starts outliving all of his friends? When a child grows and perishes but Peter does not get a single white hair in that person’s lifetime? Those kinds of things could ruin a person, change their whole moral compass and perception of time. Peter could become a whole different person after a few decades and maybe… maybe Wade wouldn’t like this new person, he could grow tired of him and Peter would remain alone forever. An immortal Spider-man could be good though, just as timeless as Captain America. Oh, look at that, he _did_ have some eternal friends after all… but what if the apple changed his abilities? Knowing mythology, and since from it derived all the information Peter had on Idunn’s apples, he wouldn’t be surprised if he either lost them or amplified them to the point of growing multiple eyes and pincers.

Peter pressed his fingers against his closed eyes and rubbed softly, he sort of wished this decision did not depend on him, it felt greater than himself and maybe- maybe waking up one day and finding out immortality was a thing for him would make him angry but he’d have to roll with it. He could coat a golden apple with red edible paint, mix it up with normal apples and let fate decide, surely aunt May would gladly test whether he had kept his mortality afterwards if he did that and she found out, as in: she’d freaking kill Peter. Oh, aunt May… she had taken her time replying when Peter came to her as lost as a kid in a supermarket, asking what would she think if … hypothetically speaking, her nephew could become immortal.

“Well, it would let me sleep easier at nights knowing you’d be fine. Would you be fine though? “- She smiled at him knowingly, stopping to sip her tea before adding, -”Hypothetically speaking? “

Peter had groaned and tugged at his hair until it was messy and sticking up everywhere. He had not known. He still didn’t know. What kind of question was that anyway? How could anyone know whether they’d be fine? Spiders didn’t have precognition, just the tingly thing for danger, Peter had to wait for every situation to present itself before he could know if something could go wrong like a one second range danger detector.

 

His phone buzzed, Peter reached for it and unlocked it, Wade had sent him a picture: he was surrounded by girls, obviously the Valkyries, covered in what Peter could only hope was dirt and not blood. Wade had taught them how to do peace signs… and other stuff too since some were gloriously giving the camera the middle finger. It was captioned: ‘ _Dead people r dead, done for today, I’ll drink some beer with my friends then I go home <3 <3_ ‘and then in another message it read ‘ _there’s a hell of a reception here for phones GET IT?_ ‘- and that’s what everybody meant when they said Wade’s sense of humor was a nightmare. Peter huffed a laugh anyway, writing back a quick reply to let Wade know he would be waiting for him.

He could still remember Wade’s desperate words: “ _you're not going to be the one that remains alive and alone.”_ – The amount of hurt that was put into that phrase made Peter’s eyebrows knit together in sorrow. How many lovers had he lost? Wade had mentioned a few flings way, WAY back, when he was just an irritating mercenary instead of … well, Wade, but it was hard to tell whether he had been serious, joking or delusional. Wade had said sorry for lashing out afterwards, mumbling something along the lines of: _‘I won’t guilt trip you into becoming immortal’_ – which was ridiculous because Peter guilt tripped himself into doing absolutely everything, including dressing up in spandex to fight criminals.

He looked at his phone screen again, his wallpaper was a picture of Wade giving aunt May a loving kiss on her cheek after eating dessert and leaving trails of whipped cream and crumbs behind, aunt May had a look on her face as if she regretted welcoming Wade to her house. Peter dialed Tony’s number. – “Remember when you ran some tests on my blood samples to find out my allergies because you were bored and terribly sleep deprived? I need you to find out what kind of reaction I’ll have to a… particular fruit, and you know I don’t exactly share blood samples with anyone.”

 

\---

 

Tony was hunched over the microscope, adjusting the focus on the lens carefully and looking at the projected image that was displayed over the table. – “So. Where exactly did you get this apple from?” – He spoke without looking at Peter, who was busy spinning around on a chair.

“Emmm… it’s a long story.”

That got him a raised eyebrow and an unimpressed look from Stark. – “Thought you trusted me.”

“Well,”- Peter pointed at the blood sample currently on display over a glass piece on the microscope stage. – “It looks like I certainly do.” – Truth was, he wasn’t quite sure whether to tell Iron Man that the drops of apple juice that Peter had brought with him would probably make a man immortal. Or, in the case they weren’t enough for that, at least cure a mild cold. Tony was a dangerous man with whom to share controversial information as such, he tended to take things a tad too far with science and death was not a force that humanity should _tinker_ with. Unless it was for something like creating an immortal guinea pig, Wade always said they should live forever for some reason and it would be the only way the man could have a pet and not kill it after forgetting to feed it for a week.  Peter shook his head, Wade’s capacity for bad decision making was almost convincing once you spent too long listening to him talk.

Tony grinned at his reply, one of his lopsided smiles, and continued working. His arachnid powers made his leukocytes work faster than average so they were expecting results soon on how his immune system would react to the foreign substance, but they still had to wait a while so Stark cursed Peter with embarrassing small talk. – “How’s the rare beauty doing?”

Parker groaned, last time Tony got involved in his love life it was to incriminate Wade, although in hindsight the pictures of Wade and Loki disguised and having coffee were pretty suspicious and out of a low budget TV show about busting cheaters. – “He’s doing great. He… isn’t a mercenary anymore. Sort of.” – When all he received was another unimpressed look, he tried to explain further. – “Just killing the dead. As in… zombies? In hell. Don’t stare like that, it’s hard to explain, you’ve seen your fair share of weird stuff so I’m sure you’ve heard worse.”- Wade always said, ‘ _not the strangest thing to happen in a comic book’_ , whatever it was he meant by that.

Tony nodded in both understanding and agreement, sliding his chair closer to Peter once a loud beeping noise informed him the blood test would carry on without further input from him, the A.I. silently checking for results. – “If he… I might regret saying this but if he keeps it up with the good behavior we can add him to the avenger’s back up list.” – Peter inhaled sharply and opened his mouth, but before he could add anything, Tony lifted his index finger in the air to shut him up. – “Back up list. Not as a permanent member, he has to earn his way into the group. Back up. Say this to him, repeatedly. He messes up and he’s out.”

Parker practically vibrated where he sat, all of his teeth on display with a wide smile. Deadpool? A backup avenger? Wade would have already fainted if offered to clean the avenger’s tower. – “Thank you! He’s- I gotta tell him as soon as I leave, he’s going to freak out!” – Peter’s hands were doing some weird dance, similar to a bird flying against the wind, he knew this meant Tony had discussed Wade as a new addition to the team with the rest, since all of his decisions were deliberate. Had they decided this after Peter had a panic attack and Wade helped him out of it? Had they voted? Peter had a list of questions he wanted to ask but all he managed were awkward short noises of appreciation before the A.I. interrupted him by stating the analysis was complete.

Tony rolled away, boosting himself by pushing his palms against the table. No matter how many cool inventions Stark had laying around in the lab, one of the best features were the wheely chairs, one just had to be careful not to say that out loud in front of the engineer unless you wanted to not hear a word from him for a week and suddenly have him showing you twenty chairs that would make Charles Xavier’s hovering wheelchair look like trash.  Frowning in concentration as he looked at the results, Tony swiped his fingers through the holograms as if they were solid and palpable instead of projections. – “Well, looks like there’s no adverse reaction to the apple, wherever it is that you got it from. Spider powers look intact too. In fact,”- He scratched his beard pensively. - “these results indicate that your stamina and strength will increase even more.”

“Oh.” - Peter held his breath, had he given away too much with just a few droplets of apple juice?

Looking at the ceiling, Stark hummed and then spun around a few times on his chair. – “You know what they say, an apple a day keeps the doctors away.”

Peter nodded frantically, resisting the urge to let out a sigh of relief and instead laughing a bit awkwardly. – “Hahah, yes… anyway,”- He cleared his throat. -“thank you for the help. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t accepted.”

Tony picked up a pen that had been lying around on the table and clicked it repeatedly a few times as he thought. – “Mh… probably go to Banner.” – Throwing the pen away without care for where it landed, he lifted himself off from the chair and got closer to Peter, resting a hand on his shoulder. Peter tensed, knowing Tony didn’t hand out those gestures easily. – “He wouldn’t have let you eat the apple, though. Immortality is kind of a huge deal.”

Damn it. How did Stark even know how immortality looked under a microscope? Peter deflated, crossing his arms on the lab table and resting his head on them until his face was hidden. What was he going to do now? Would Tony confiscate the apple? – “I can’t give it to you. It was a gift and you can’t give away a gift, it’s rude.” – Also, Peter would rather feed the apple to a cockroach than leave it laying somewhere on earth, he knew enough about greed to think that not a single human on earth would want the apple for themselves after finding out it exists, destroying everything on their path to get it. He could list a few examples. And cockroaches were pretty much invincible already anyway.

“I don’t want that thing in the same parcel of land I’m standing on, even less in the same room.” – Peter lifted his head at the comment, he wasn’t expecting Tony to reject any offer that had to do with eternal life and all the possibilities it offered. Then again, probably nobody would expect to hear Peter accept the very same offer and yet here he was, genuinely considering it. Stark’s grip on Peter’s shoulder strengthened as he explained. – “I’ve had enough encounters with extremis to know I don’t want to be indestructible. Not with all it entails for a person like me, no matter how many times they call me invincible Iron man.”  - He smiled, but it was empty and it made Parker doubt whether he wanted to get in on the immortal train all over again. To have in front of him a man that had experienced just a tiny bit of the power the apple could give you and watch him filled with regret. Damn it. Tony noticed the worry in Peter’s eyes and sat on the table, close to him but far enough to give him some space. – “I can assure you it won’t be the same for you as it was for me. For starters, this is not extremis. This is also not something derived from the X-gene, so it won’t be the same it was for Wade, either. Nor it is gamma radiation.”

“All of those are people that are unhappy with what they got, Tony.” – Peter whined and went back to hiding his face with his crossed arms.

Tony hummed. - “Obviously, because neither Wade nor Bruce asked for what they got, it was like opening a cookie can and finding sewing supplies inside. I kind of had it coming, but while you and I are damaged goods, it’s not the same pieces that we’ve got broken, you can’t use me as a comparison.”- He drummed his fingers against the table, thinking. – “I wasn’t done with the examples anyway. Thor, Captain America and Wolverine seem to find their way back to balance countless times, they are still immortal and they still have bad days,” – He shrugged, smiling when Peter lifted his head to look at him again. – “I guess that somedays they wish they were mortal just like sometimes regular humans wish they weren’t.”

Peter smiled back at him. -“Considering how bad you are at giving out advice when it comes to love,”- He ignored the loud ‘ _hey!’_  he received from an offended Tony. – “you don’t do so awful when it comes to immortality.”

 

Now that it was confirmed that he wouldn’t react negatively to the golden apple, his list of disadvantages had considerably shortened, crossing out death by allergy and spider-power deficiency. Though Tony’s conversation had faintly added eternal suffering as a possible outcome. Peter swung by his apartment and in through the window, throwing his mask on the living room table and then himself on the couch. Wade had not arrived yet and the apples where still on the top of the fridge, emitting a soft light reminiscent of a candle. Being close to dusk the remaining rays of sunshine that managed to get in through the curtains tainted everything in pastel colors, overlaying everything with soft shades of orange and pink. The apples looked tempting under the distorting hues, they looked mighty and plump, every bit as unnatural as they were.

Peter sighed and pressed his face against the cool cushions, he knew that no matter what he chose to do with the damned things, his decision was going to be something that he would have to live with forever, whether he ate one or not. It was in these moments that uncle Ben’s words hunted him the most, because Wade had placed in his hands the power to become immortal, and… well, with great power came great responsibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one is the last one.  
> You'll have to excuse me for not paying too much attention to the editing on this one, my computer broke and I actually borrowed one just to update.  
> What do you think? Should he eat one? Give the apples back to Wade? Should I not specify and leave you to wonder forever?


	18. Chapter 18

Wade rushed home after more than a few beers with the Valkyries, they had praised his high resistance for alcohol and when explaining he couldn’t get drunk they had been insistent on proving how true that statement was. Once he drank more beers than the advised amount to stay alive the only low resistance they had managed to prove he had was to contain liquid, since the third time he had gone to what appeared to be the restroom in whichever realm they were in right then, the man that owned the bar looked at him like he was about to charge him for the amount of water he was throwing down the drain. Literally.

He had planned to go shopping afterwards, get Peter a new laptop with a custom Deadpool skin, but he was tired after a long day gutting dead people and wanted to go home and curl around his boyfriend on the couch like an oversized disfigured dog. He knew Peter had the day off and there was a twelve hour special of movie classics on TV, if he arrived soon enough he could make it on time to see a whole hour and doze off, maybe wake up on the bed after Peter carried him there bridal style. Last time that had happened Wade hadn’t shut up about it for a whole month, wolverine had attempted to cut his own ears off and only stopped because there were children around, that big hairy softie.

Unfortunately, as soon as he opened the main door to the building’s common area, he was met with the sight of a woman with a little girl doing wonders to carry five grocery bags while still holding hands with the child, who was also helping out with a single bag. And while Wade had always had a soft spot for children and making them laugh, he knew that most of the boost to go and help came from spending too much time with Peter. That damned spider nerd was rubbing the good willingness on him, what would Blind Al say if she saw him right now, rushing to assist? – “Lady, with that concept of balance you must be very good at Jenga. Need some help?”

He should’ve noticed sooner, that he was carrying his suit in his backpack because he had changed clothes to go drinking with his work pals, and while he wasn’t the ugliest thing in the realm they had been to, he certainly was in the top 50 here on earth. The Parker’s were schooled in swallowing all their reactions, aunt May had not even blinked when seeing his ugly mug, but everyday people weren’t so used to strange sights, at least not from so close. So the mother was shocked when turning around, her smile faltering for a second. Before Wade could run upstairs and ask Peter to move out of the building with him, he felt someone tugging on his sleeve.

“I like Jenga.” – The girl smiled at him, all teeth and bright eyes. Wade couldn’t help but smile back at her.

It helped to dissolve the tension in the room, soon the mother was smiling again and handing him half of the groceries and telling Wade which button to press on the elevator after thanking him cheerfully.  The kid reminded Wade of himself, she didn’t shut up for a second and kept moving her arms in wide frantic motions. Poor mother and poor bag of groceries, the one the kid was carrying; if she had cream in there it was probably butter by now. Wade, on the other hand, chatted with the kid as if they knew each other already, jumping from one subject to another just as easily as the little girl.  

It was without realizing that eventually their conversation had led them to the superhero topic. The kid nodded enthusiastically. – “My favorite hero?  It used to be Iron Man…” – Wade made gagging noises and the girl laughed before continuing. – “But now it’s Spider-man! He has scary moments, just like me!”

“Scary moments?” – He looked at the mother for a better translation on what that meant, but the woman only shifted where she stood, smiling bitterly as she looked at her daughter.

“Yes! The other day, he got spooked and started thinking really fast and he had to sit down.”

It took a few seconds for Wade to realize the kid was talking about Peter’s panic attack, which meant the kid… the small thing, had some issues to work with herself. Who’d have thought that a moment of weakness that made Peter feel guilty and Wade feel terrified, could be inspirational to another person?

“I like Deadpool too! My mom says he’s not a hero but I think he’s nice, he’s just shy… He helped Spider-man! He can’t be bad if he helped him…”- The elevator made a loud noise and the doors opened but the girl remained where she stood, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. -“Did you know they love each other?”

Ok, that was evidence right there. Either he was dreaming or the alcohol had actually affected him and he was going to wake up anytime with drool all over his chin and the Valkyries laughing their asses off around him. The kid’s mother walked forwards laughing nervously and tugging the girl along, Wade gripped the grocery bags he was carrying tighter and accompanied them to their door, leaving them on the floor as he heard with interest what was being said and making sure he was giving them both enough space to not be overstepping any boundaries.

“I saw them,” – The kid stood proudly, as if she was broadcasting the news of the year. – “They live in this building, I see them get in through the window. They kissed once, before getting in. Spider-man was carrying Deadpool.”

PETER WAS GOING TO KILL SOMEONE. A KID HAD SEEN THEM?

Wade choked on his own saliva for a second, or maybe it was his heart that had gone up his throat. He found himself laughing just as nervously as the mother, both blurting out the same thing for different reasons. – “Kids and their imagination, right? haha…”

He hurried away after his third ‘you’re welcome’, waving at the kid as he got in the elevator again, smiling at her offer to play Jenga the next time they saw each other. Peter and him were the only two guys living together in the building so if anybody paid attention to what the child was saying they were doomed.

As he swiped the key card in the elevator to get to the top floor, he whistled along nonexistent elevator music and smiled to himself. Who would’ve thought? Spider-man and Deadpool as a girl’s favorite duo, his eyes were watering a little and he was making an effort to not let the tears out, or else he would greet Peter crying. It just seemed something so impossible to become true. To Wade, being a child’s hero meant more than any newspaper headline could give him, and she had not even done that thing where kids tug at their mother’s clothes to ask ‘What happened to that man’s face?’. Best. Kid. _Ever_. –‘ _Maybe she can’t see well, we should get her a pair of glasses_.’ – Wade hummed. Not glasses, but he certainly was buying a jenga later to leave by her door.

A chime announced he had arrived at his floor. – “Honey! I’m home!” – He dropped his backpack by the door, thankfully he had left everything pointy and explosive in the Valkyrie’s dressing room, they had a fancy name for it like _the hall of the winged goddesses_ or _the golden chamber of the stalwart warriors_ or whatever, Wade didn’t put much effort into remembering it but it sounded like something out of a role playing game, something you came up with after seven hours of dungeons and dragons and Peter would probably love it. Nerd. – “Also, we should probably start looking for a place to move into, just in case, since a six year old neighbor saw Spider-man and Deadpool making out while climbing into a window in this building.”

At that, Peter peeked out from the door that lead to the living room from the hallway. Something was off about him, Wade couldn’t exactly pinpoint what. He stared for a while but wasn’t able to tell. – “Did you cut your hair or something? You look… prettier?” – ‘ _If that’s possible…_ ’ – ‘ _Corny!_ ’

“Not really. Thanks?” - Peter marched towards Wade, a small smile on his face that was akin to one in a mischievous child who had just found out where the cookie jar was hidden. – “Ah! Yeah, I’ve met that kid. Saw her once when I was climbing towards our window, she waved and nodded when I signed for her not to tell. She’s one of the good ones, she wouldn’t mention it to someone that could take it seriously.” – He pressed his index against Wade’s lips, making a shushing gesture, just like he had done with the kid.

Wade squinted his eyes, everything Peter said was… well, a very Peter thing to say but there was something… - “Yes! Well, guess what?!,” – He kissed Peter’s finger and then moved to hold his hand and lower it, entwining their fingers. –‘ _Coooorny!_ ’- Wade shook his head a little, trying to concentrate to speak over the voices. -  “she said Spider-man AND Deadpool. Emphasis on the AND there, because you can’t see the block capitals. Are her favorite heroes. Can you believe that?” – He jumped up and down a little, at the memory.

“Well, I guess we should team up more often then, right? We’ve got plenty of time to do so, mh?”

“What, you quit your job?”

Wade was confused, it was as if he had skipped a chapter in the story and didn’t know what the hell had happened previously. He pressed his thumb against Peter’s wrist, intending to caress the scar that was there, which had become a thing they usually did to distract themselves and calm down since both Peter enjoyed the touch and Wade the feeling of Peter’s soft skin. Except the scar was not there.

“Not really. Want to guess what’s different again? Third time’s a charm.” – Peter leant forward to kiss Wade, careful not to startle him, since he looked a bit lost.

Peter’s kiss tasted like apples.

And Wade, well, Wade was slow from time to time but he definitely got it right the third time. In the end, he had held up his tears in the elevator and still ended up crying, Peter nuzzling his neck and muffling a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, I guess. Boy, I'm going to miss updating.  
> I have another spideypool fic ready but since my computer is broken you will have to wait. You can find me in tumblr: xweapon.tumblr.com , I have no issues with people writing to me. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your support. I've encountered only the nicest people in the comments section, you really inspire me to keep writing. Hopefully I helped you smile a little with this story, it was intended to become gradually happier so as to be uplifting. I certainly am not in for anything but happy endings, I am too weak for anything else.


End file.
